Bad luck to try on your wedding ring before the wedding?

posted 1 month ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

Purmaid2019 :  oh bless you. I see your predicament!! 

If you had it sized it’s probably ok but if you can somehow overrule her mad superstition that is not a thing I would! I’d be tempted to leave it to your FH to try! 

Goos luck! 

Post # 17
Member
2356 posts
Buzzing bee

You may be in for quite a ride with your Future Mother-In-Law.  

I’d be tempted to go buy my own wedding band and use that instead, personally.  Boundaries.. set ’em early!

Post # 18
Member
839 posts
Busy bee

How does putting a piece of metal on your finger have any impact on a marriage??? 🤔

Post # 19
Member
2808 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

Purmaid2019 :  Yikes. Do you even like this wedding band or are you going with the flow to please your FH and FMIL?

There is literally no way I would let my Mother-In-Law have that much input/control over something I’m going to wear for the rest of my life. 

If I were in your shoes I’d get my own band, and use MILs band for stacking (if it worked) or a right hand ring.

Post # 21
Member
1048 posts
Bumble bee

  Isn’t it fairly simple to just give her your ering size, since you have agreed to use the ring?

That way she can take it the the jeweller for sizing if it needs it.

Obviously  better done prior to ceremony.than after?

Post # 22
Member
562 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

I’d never agree to a ring I am supposed to wear for the rest of my life which I haven’t even tried, trial worn or seen in irl. Plus do you know if it really goes with your engagement ring? I haven’t trial worn my diamond band enough before the wedding and then I had to bite the bullet and had it remade. The diamonds ate into my ering and it was beyond uncomfortable for daily wear…

So I’d go and buy beautiful yet simple bands for you and your husband as your main bands and use the one from your Mother-In-Law as you see fit. First this shows your Mother-In-Law her place and it will be truly yours. Maybe even a matching pair. 

Plus I’ve never heard of it beeing bad luck. That would mean that almost every marriage is under a bad star since most people go and try on band after band until they find the right one. 

I’ve heard it’s bad luck that anyone but your future husband puts a ring on your hand… a friend told me that when we were teenagers and somehow that stuck. No one ever out a ring on my finger before my husband (I got married at 36)

Post # 23
Member
1329 posts
Bumble bee

Obviously this superstition is ridiculous, and I agree with PPs that her refusal is much less about believing in such idiocy and far more about maintaining control over her son, his marriage, and his wife. Since she has the ring and likely won’t give it to you, you may just have to deal with this–but rest assured that she WILL pull these kinds of stunts in many other areas of your life. 

Post # 24
Member
9369 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I tried mine on a bunch before getting married, I don’t believe in superstitions. My marriage is still working out so far 🙂

Post # 25
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee

It’s not the ring that’s bad luck, it’s her behavior. I would purchase a band of my choice for everyday wear and only use hers for the ceremony because something tells me it’s going to be a bad surprise. 

Post # 26
Member
89 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: Iowa

Purmaid2019 :  my FH recently got his band and tried it on, when I sent my mom a picture to show her she replied with “take it off! Take it off! It’s bad luck!” I never knew it was considered bad luck till then but I’m not very supersticous so I was like whatever. Plus I’d rather know it fit ahead of time when we have time to return it/get it resized.

Post # 27
Member
2255 posts
Buzzing bee

Purmaid2019 :  Uhhhh why aren’t you able to try it on? Does she have it in her possession? Did she purchase it? I would try it on, honestly. Mine was a skosh too small, and my hand swelled up, so yep, husband struggled to get it on. Try on the ring. Is this even a thing? I would ignore her and just cover your bases.

Post # 28
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I dont believe that it is a bad luck, but anyway if you dont have a chance to try it before the wedding, don’t worry, you can re-size it later, i dont think it is necessary to have issues with the relatives before the wedding. Just don’t focus too much on this situation, relax. 

Post # 29
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

It’s part of superstitions, maybe she believe it. I actually heard my aunt say it before, just like bride and groom cannot meet before the actual wedding or bad luck. Shame that she believe it, but does not make her crazy or bad.

Post # 30
Member
4814 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

This doesn’t make any sense, why would it be bad luck? How would you even buy a band if you couldn’t try it on?

I could see how it might be seen as bad luck to wear it properly before the wedding and I’ve heard people think it is bad luck to try on someone else’s engagement/wedding ring on their ring finger but this is a bit much and I would not use my MIL’s ring if she didn’t allow me to try it on before the wedding day. 

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