Bad luck to try on your wedding ring before the wedding?

posted 5 months ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Errrrm no you need to see how it fits lol. My mum used to say it was bad luck to wear a ring on your wedding finger if you wasn’t engaged / married so maybe that’s what she means 

Post # 32
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

That’s insane.. you NEED to know if it fits. 

Post # 33
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

My Future Mother-In-Law has superstitions about EVERYTHING, and she does say that it is bad luck to wear a wedding band before you’re married. She’s never said it would be bad luck to even TRY IT ON, though. And she certainly doesn’t presume to try to control whether or not we try on our own wedding bands. That’s a whole other level beyond just being superstitious.

Your Future Mother-In-Law is being ridiculous, and you shouldn’t have to let her dictate what you do. Has your Fiance had a serious talk to her about this? You say he’s trying to establish boundaries now, but what has he actually done so far?

Personally, I wouldn’t accept the ring on these conditions, regardless of sentimental value or how nice it looks. If she can’t be reasoned with at all, I would just tell her that you will not be wearing a wedding band on your wedding day if you can’t even be sure that it fits. She’s being beyond unreasonable, and trying to control you. Don’t let her.

Post # 34
539 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Never heard of this but I wouldn’t worry too much. Is it not the same size as your engagement ring?

My hands swelled up in the heat on my wedding day and my husband couldn’t get my ring on. We actually found it really funny and the photo of it is our favourite from the day. 

Post # 35
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2019 - City, State

I sure hope not lol, my future husband has been wearing his band on weekends to try and get used to it (he has a metal rod in his ring finger and the metal ring irritates it). That’s really weird that she’s being so controlling about your ring and YOUR day.

Post # 36
180 posts
Blushing bee

Personally I would tell her either you get to try it on prior to the wedding for sizing purposes or unfortunately you won’t be able to accept it.  You say your’re afraid that it won’t fit on your wedding day…how important is that to you?  If the ring is slightly too large that’s one thing (and your ering can temporarily hold it in place day of, although it might look strange if the sizing is off by too much), but if the ring is too small by more than about half a size, it’s not going to fit onto your finger at all. Worst case it won’t even get past your knuckle.

My wedding was outdoors and my fingers had swelled just a bit and my ring definitely didn’t slip easily onto my finger. You’re going to be anxious about so many things on your wedding day, why add something so easily remedied like this? IMO superstitions are a load of sh*t and you shouldn’t follow them unless YOU want to. Don’t let someone else dictate your life because of their (IMO ridiculous) beliefs that you don’t share.  This Mother-In-Law sounds like a piece of work and if this type of behavior carries over into your married life she’s going to make your life very difficult. Every time you give in, it’s going to make it harder and harder to establish boundaries later as she will fight harder to keep the control she thinks she has over you.

If keeping the peace matters to you above all else, then accept that your ring likely won’t fit perfectly on your wedding day, and you’ll have to be without your ring for a bit after the wedding while it gets sized.  That’s not the absolute worst, but I doubt you’ll get both a perfectly fitting ring and appease your Mother-In-Law at the same time. Good luck whichever way you decide!

Post # 37
2414 posts
Buzzing bee

Depending on how wide the engagment ring and wedding band are, you may even need to size up a little bit, so having the wedding band sized to be the same size as the engagement ring may mean the ring is too tight.

Post # 38
413 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Purmaid2019 :  Your future Mother-In-Law sounds ridiculous. Try the ring on! You need to make sure it fits with and without your Engagement Ring. 

Post # 39
1887 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Oh, I’d just let her have this. You’ve seen it and you’ve seen it next to your ring. Presumably you’d notice if the size was so different it wouldn’t go over the knuckle. You can adjust it after the wedding if it doesn’t fit perfectly. There are lots of other future battles with difficult in-laws… I wouldn’t waste my energy on this one. 

Maybe she’s having a harder time letting go of the rings/stones than she thought. Ya never know.

But no, never heard it is bad luck. 

Leave a comment

Find Amazing Vendors