Post # 1
My 11 week DS has picked up a new trick of screaming his heart out everytime he sees my husband. He’s been doing it about a week, and it would be funny if my husband weren’t so sad because of it. Despite the crying, my husband does make many efforts to bond and be close with our son, which I commend him for!
Last night DS and I were cuddling in bed and my husband gets in and tries to cuddle with us. DS immediately begins to whimper which turns into a full cry. Darling Husband tries to roll away, and ends up bending awkwardly and throwing out his back. He then winced in pain so hard that he fell out of bed onto the floor!
DS and Darling Husband were both screaming. I’m just sitting there dumbfounded….
Not a good night….
Post # 3
@ExcitedScaredBee: Oh my heavens, sorry! Maybe the crying is a phase? (DS, not Darling Husband haha)
Hope tonight goes better!
Post # 4
@DaneLady: I was thinking the same thing. I know little kids go through phases of which parent is their “favourite” but I haven’t heard of it manifesting at 11 weeks. It must have something to do with the fact that you are home with your son, OP, and spend more time with him due to mat leave (or so I assume). If that’s not the case, then I have no idea and hope it stops soon!
Post # 5
Thanks! The crying is very frustrating. It started after Darling Husband was away on a business trip for 4 nights and DS and I got a lot of bonding time together in the evenings, which is when Darling Husband usually plays and cuddles with him. When Darling Husband got home, it’s like he was a total stranger to DS again. That was a week ago and it doesn’t show any signs of letting up, even though Darling Husband makes every effort to spend time with DS when he’s home from work.
The weird part is that there are people that DS sees infrequently, such as my dad, my Father-In-Law and my brother, who he does not cry for at all. He will go right to them and be happy as a clam, so I don’t necessarily think it’s stranger aversion or female preference….
I am hoping it’s just a phase that will end very, very soon….
Post # 6
Awwww…you all will laugh about this someday I guarantee! Hope baby snaps out of his phase soon!
Post # 7
@ExcitedScaredBee: Did your husband get new cologne or wash his clothes in a different detergent when he was away? Maybe your baby is finding an aversion to a smell! Also, if you guys are frustrated and anticipating it will happen, maybe baby is sensing the tension. Something must be scaring the little guy unintentionally.
Post # 8
Although it sounds awful but you have to leave. My daughter has a strong preference for me, and went through 2 long periods so far were she would be very upset sitting ith my husband instead of me. The thing that helped most is giving them special bonding time where going to me is not an option. It took a while but it has definitely helped.
Post # 9
I am so sorry this happened. Good for your husband to keep trying. Odd question… does he have any facial hair or glasses?
Post # 10
@ExcitedScaredBee: I don’t have any kids, so take my opinon with a grain of salt but… 🙂
It sounds to me like maybe it’s a jealousy thing? Your son sounds like he’s used to being with just you after your husband’s trip. Maybe they need a day or two of special boys only bonding?
Post # 11
@MrsPanda99: Nothing new. One time DS even started crying when we walked into the bathroom and Darling Husband was in the bath tub, so I don’t think it could be smells. Darling Husband is actually really great at not “anticipating the crying” and therefore acting differently before DS starts. Like I said, sometimes all we have to do is be in the same room together for it to start.
@carriejuly: We have been trying this both in short increments and longer ones, and it really doesn’t seem to be helping much. This weekend Darling Husband held him while I showered, gathered the laundry…etc and DS always would start whimpering and then crying until I was able to hold him again. On Wednesday I go to yoga, so I was gone around 1.5 hours while Darling Husband watches him, and DS screamed the whole time 🙁
@Schatzie821: He has stubble and sometimes wears glasses, but it doesn’t seem to matter either way. I tried to look for a pattern and there wasn’t one.
@blushpinkbride: That’s what I told my DH! Darling Husband is absolutely the “fun one” between the two of us, so I know for a fact that DS will be 100% a daddy’s boy when he’s a bit older and won’t want anything to do with me!
Post # 12
if you google it it seems to be a surprisingly common problem! suggestions to fix it include daddy only bonding time and having his face near yours while you breastfeed so the baby will make positive associations
Post # 13
Sorry you are dealing with this! I would probably force some bonding time to help your little one get past this phase. Let Daddy help give him his bath at night, and eventually transition to him giving the bath alone while you are out of the room. When he cries don’t change behavior, as this could reinforce it. For example, if he cries and Darling Husband leaves the room then he will learn that by crying he can have mommy all to himself. I’m sure he will grow out of this phase soon!
Post # 14
@ExcitedScaredBee: Aww this would be so hard!! I suggest a special bonding day with just daddy and son. Perhaps since he was gone for so many days and because you got to bond with LO that he may just not know dad very well OR it could be a jealousy thing. I hope I don’t have to go through this too (although I know someday you will look back and laugh about this).
Post # 15
Are you exclusively breastfeeding or doing any bottle feeding? That seems to be a strong bonding time so maybe doing a few bottles would be a good idea? Or have Darling Husband do something DS really likes? Bathtime, something he finds comforting?
I dunno, I feel bad for your DH! Poor guy!
Post # 16
My baby is like this too, and it started when she was pretty near newborn. She’s fine with family members and strangers, but she acts like my husband is an axe murderer. I think it’s because whenever I am gone out of the house for hours, he’s watching her, and so she associates him with my absence. I know that in our case daddy only bonding time made it worse, and what has helped is her getting older (more independent play stuff that she’s interested in when he’s hanging with her) and him spending time with her when I am in the house and she’s in a good mood (well fed and just up from a nap). She’s 5 months now.