Post # 1
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee
I hadn’t seen a thread like this, so thought I’d start one. Did you have a wedding that was overshadowed by some bad omens/signs or something terrible happening?
When I was married the first time, I had wanted one of my best friends to be there. She was like my twin, we were so close. I had tried for weeks prior to reach her (she had moved, and the number I had for her was incorrect). So the wedding happened, without my best friend there. The next day, which happened to be a Memorial Day, my parents asked me to come over, they had something they wanted to show me. I went over there, and they handed me a newspaper clipping. It was the obituary of my friend, who had died from injuries sustained in a vehicle crash. She was on her way down to see her little sister graduate, and it had happened about 2 weeks prior to my wedding date. Needless to say, I never really got over that, and my future anniversaries were always bittersweet. It felt as though that was a sign I should’ve NOT gotten married (because we ended up divorcing later anyways).
Does anyone have anything to share? Please keep rude comments off of this thread. 
Post # 3
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
I’m so sorry to hear that. I couldn’t imagine…
I’m getting married June 22nd. I haven’t had any bad omens so far, hopefully I won’t!
Post # 4
Member
4659 posts
Honey bee
Sorry about your friend, that must have been disappointing.
I’m not sure if this is classified as a rude comment, but to me, stuff like this is a really interesting “glitch” in human thinking. It doesn’t say anything bad about anybody, it’s natural to have those feelings.
We’ve evolved to do pattern detection and discern cause and effect at a much more complex level than most animals, and it’s an awesome feat that is at the root of most of our scientific and technical accomplishments as a species.
The problem is that it’s not exactly flawless. It leads to a flaw in reasoning that, in law, is called “post hoc ergo propter hoc” – latin for “after it, therefore because of it.” This logical fallacy is where a lot of superstition and “omens” come from. (After I saw the black cat, I got the flu. It must have been the cat. Or, after I danced outside, it rained. It must have rained because I danced.)
It ends up being the driving force behind a lot of the total misunderstandings in the media of scientific studies because of a confusion of correlation vs. causation. It’s both one of our biggest strengths as well as weaknesses.
So… I don’t think there’s any connection there, any more than I think black cats are bad luck.
I’ve found that letting go of that kind of thing helps me worry less and more accurately target the real issues behind problems.
Post # 5
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee
@Bebealways: Thank you. It’s not rude at all. Rude would be more like “your post is too depressing!” or something unnecessary.
And I know that it wasn’t really a sign. The wedding went through fine, and I didn’t have cold feet at all. It was several factors that had to do with why the marriage ended. 🙂
@futurenavypilotwife: Thank you. Since then, I’ve managed to contact and stay connected to her mother and younger sister via FB. I don’t know if being able to get in touch with me comforts them at all, but I’m glad they’re still part of my life to a degree.
Post # 6
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
I dont believe in bad omens.. I think somtimes Shit happens… just because shit happens..
Lots of things went wrong on my day, but its not going to be the downfall for my marriage.. Our town had a freak flood, and we had to change our venue as the main entries brigde was underwater and the back entry had a land slide.. (THE DAY BEFORE!!!), the flowers i wanted wernt the ones i got, the boys suits arrived the day before in thE wrOng sizes. The bm’S shoes got ruined, The hairstyles i wanted for my BM’s totally went out the window as the hairstylist knew better.. and gave them really crappy ones, the cds i gave the celebrant with our wedding music didnt work and we had to get my bro inlaw to do it all again for us… and I trod in dog shit the night before the wedding, bare foot, in my hotel room… it was great :/!!!
But honestly all those things are not going to be the doom of my marriage.. Shit hapens.. literally..
ETA: wasnt meaning to sound rude at all, I cant posibly imagine losing my friend, and finding out that way.
Post # 7
Hostess
8579 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I agree with PP’s, bad things happen, and they can happen at any time.
I also think they are more likely to happen around/on your wedding because you are more frazzled, and spread thin. There are also TONS more people involved, and no matter how hard you plan.. you can’t control everything. Like a kid knocking over the cocktail or grandpa passing out from too much alocohol. The more people you factor in, the higher chance of things going wrong.
I EXPECTING things to go wrong, but I just hope they aren’t HUGE things.
Post # 8
Member
9209 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
This is not wedding related, but this year I was working in Aurora, CO on my birthday and woke up that morning to the news that that psycho kid had murdered dozens of people in the movie theater. It was horrible to hear, of course, and also hit home because i was right in the same town. It made for kind of a weird birthday…
Post # 9
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee
@lolot: Yikes! I’ve had birthdays where people have died/were buried, but not THAT! 🙁 It definitely makes you not feel like celebrating.
@jenilynevette: Luckily both my alcoholic grandfathers passed away before I was born. From what I understand, they were not pleasant anyways (however, some of my other relatives….lol)
@mrsrangrang: Those things would probably have had me in a tailspin, and I understood it wasn’t meant to be rude. Some people handle things differently than others.
Post # 10
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
(and i didnt have my dog in my hotel room, it was their dog.. :/ )
And just to add, i loved my wedding. It stopped raining for the entire day! i married the man who carrys my heart, and I honestly didnt care at al about the other stuff… I think there was more stuff that went wrong, but the goal was to get married.. and we did 🙂
I really think i could have lost my shit really easily if i wanted to. but you have to focus on whats important. EYE ON THE PRIZE!! dont let little things get you down..
Post # 11
Member
2616 posts
Sugar bee
husband had his first seizure in 15 years on our wedding day, we were still married just everything got delayed 30 minutes. so it could have gone a whole nother direction but he was hell bent on marrying me and we did get married and our wedding .marriage is tons stronger i think for it.
