(Closed) Bad proposal… Advice needed!

posted 5 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

My husband knelt down on the flooa in our kitchen and asked me to marry him. I think you should feel happy and excited that he went through all the effort for you. I wouldn’t tell him you were disappointEd. he worked hard to do something sweet. Enjoy this time and gush to everyone on how great it was Because it sounded sweet and amazing! 

Post # 4
Member
9115 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

This is going to sound bitchy, but the proposal isn’t about you. This is the one thing your man gets to do that is all about him. After that, it’s all about the bride. The wedding is for the bride, the bride gets to dictate everything, pick everything, and while most men prefer to be on the sidelines for the wedding planning, they do essentially get left behind with only mild input about things like food and such.

 

Your proposal sounds sweet. My husband shoved the ring across the table when we went out to dinner and said “Will you marry me?” Instead of being pissed that I didn’t get a movie proposal, I was just happy that my husband wanted to marry me. Marriage was never important to me, but to have him actually put forth the effort to marry me meant more than the actual proposal.

Don’t tell him you were disappointed. Sucks, but ultimately it doesn’t matter — You’re engaged, and that is what matters.

 

Post # 5
Member
1720 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I would definitely not let him know you were disappointed. You are lucky to be engaged! That means he has decided he wants to spend the rest of his life with YOU. 🙂 

Think of it like this…it’s like if you had planned and searched for the PERFECT birthday or Christmas gift for your family member, one that you spent lots of time and effort on. Then, when the day comes, your family member opens the gift and asks if you have a gift receipt.,

It would hurt!

Congratulations on getting engaged. I’m sorry it wasn’t what you expected.

Post # 6
Member
1123 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Hyperventilate:  +1

 

He did put a lot of thought into this, and had he gone with plan A you still might not be engaged and it could be months before you were. He put a lot more thought into this than most men do into their proposal.

 

Remember, the engagement isn’t about the proposal, it’s not about the ring, the parties, the dress, the details, it’s about him committing himself for life to you. If my husband had proposed while I was in the back yard waiting for the dogs to finish pooping I’d still be thrilled.

Post # 7
Member
1935 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Anna10-05-2014:  wait, he made you a video game? I’m no expert, but that sounds like a lot of effort and time, and really reflected him as a person. Do I like video games? Nope. But, I think you should see it as something he put effort into because he loves you. I actually think it’s a cool story, and if someone told me that as their proposal story, I’d be pretty impressed!

I mean, it happened, there’s nothing you can do about it, so I think it’s time to move on and get over it. My friend’s husband threw her ring at her, and they just celebrated 10 years. My dad asked my mom by saying “so, hey… wanna get married?” and no ring. They just hit 30 years. 

Looking back in 20 years, this won’t seem like a disappointment. So stop stressing about something you can’t change. 

Post # 9
Member
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Hyperventilate:  +1

 

I really don’t get why proposals are such a big deal. You’re engaged. That’s what matters.

 

My proposal is likely going to be my SO and I picking up my e-ring from the jewelers (we are picking it together). I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

Post # 10
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Anna10-05-2014:  OP, while I understand that you might feel disappointed, remember that the man you love has asked you to spend the rest of your life with him. Period. I really don’t understand sometimes how much emphasis women put on the proposal. Yes, of course it is a big deal and it’s exciting, and it should be that way no matter what. But you know what’s really exciting? The fact that you were proposed to at all, and now you get to marry the love of your life and have a future with him. 

I also agree with some PPs that the proposal is the man’s one time to shine and it should be his decision how he do it, and it sounds like your Fiance put a lot of thought and effort into his proposal. I would not tell your Fiance that you are dissatisfied because really, there are no re-do’s. It’s done, and the only thing you will accomplish by expressing your disappoint is make him feel really awful. 

My advice to you is let it go. Be happy you are engaged and focus on your upcoming wedding. I promise, your family and friends are just happy for you and are not judging your proposal story, they’re just happy for you that it happened. Life isn’t a movie and sometimes the simplest proposals are the most romantic. My Fiance proposed on a regular Monday in our apartment after work with no warning, and I couldn’t have been more surprised and happy with the way he did it. 

Post # 11
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

could you make the font smaller? i can’t even read it. 

Post # 13
Member
1420 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley

@canarydiamond:  That’s what my proposal was!  No down on one knee, no romantic dinner… It was no less exciting!

Post # 14
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

The proposal may not reflect your interests… but it reflects HIS, and if you love him, then you’ll love that he loves his interests. Sometimes it’s hard to separate two things we love a lot and realize one doesn’t love the other – he was probably thinking that he loves videogames and he loves you and wanted to combine two awesome things into one ultra-awesome moment.

Post # 16
Member
7647 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think that is an awesome proposal, even if you don’t like video games.

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