(Closed) Bad waiting day…(whining)

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

well he sounds pretty enthused about marriage. do you have a timeline?

i can relate somewhat, watching everyone around you move forward with marriage etc while youre stagnant in your relationship can hurt.

having a timeline helps.

Post # 4
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

@Helloemi:  I was really mean to a friend from HS when she was the second one in 2 days to ask if We were engaged yet. I said “No, Are you?” Knowing full well she didn’t have anyone.

I still feel like a duche for that one

Post # 6
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

@Helloemi:  It may not be your cup of tea, but you could propose to him!  Does he say why he wants to wait until after his sister is married to do the same (especially since she’s not even close to being engaged)?  Have you talked to him about not worrying about other people’s love lives going forward before your own?  I would be frustrated too.  Hugs!

Post # 8
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I’m sure there are many, many reasons why you love him and why he is awesome…but your last post disconcerts me. You pay all of the bills? He doesn’t help (if he’s working)?

He didn’t buy the promise ring at all?

 

Post # 10
Member
482 posts
Helper bee

so what did your SO say in that conversation with the friend? or did you respond.

just from an outside view it seems like he has it easy in this relationship, and you’ve enabled him a bit.

it seems like your SO is putting up roadblocks to stall for time, really. waiting for his sister to be engaged? when theres no indication she will be? he sounds comfortable, he has you, the house, dog. no intiative to ask soon.

def stick to your walking date. 

Post # 11
Member
9115 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Love isn’t a race.

Post # 12
Member
309 posts
Helper bee

@NickiBee:  I agree, he seems to be stalling in a major way

 

 

@Hyperventilate:  I’m not sure that this really applies here. 5 years isn’t exactly “racing” to the altar. 

Post # 13
Member
9115 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

@MissTexasFire:  No, but going, “Everyone else but me…” “We’re the last…” is.

Post # 15
Member
1848 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@Helloemi:  I realize that he reimbursed you, but what disconcerted me was the fact that he had months to shop for a promise ring and never did. You had to go and buy it and he had to reimburse you. All it takes to ring shop is a long afternoon and some thought. You know?

It does seem that he’s had it easy. He’s used to getting what he wants – he has it right now, in fact. He doesn’t see you leaving and he doesn’t have to budge, so why even propose? Talks needs to be had a the walk date seems apt right now.

I know it sounds harsh, but I do know how you feel. I know all of those awkward “when are you gonna get married, gais?” and “you’ve been together for what seems like forever…” Yeah, well. Shove it.

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