(Closed) Bad Waiting Night

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
221 posts
Helper bee

@Lalalanelson:  at least theres an end in sight. Personally, I’d try not to get too upset until September, if he hasn’t done it by then. 

Post # 5
222 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Christmas Tree Farm

Could it be that he wants a short engagement? He might be thinking that you should wait until you’re ready to plan. I mean, dental school is a pretty big deal and I’m sure you’ve got a lot on your plate right now. 

Really, though, you need to sit down with him and have a serious conversation. Don’t get emotional, but explain to him why getting engaged is so important to you and why it’s important for you to understand his reasons for waiting. “Because I want to,” is not a reason. He needs to be honest with you and give you a real reason so you can both feel good about waiting until the time is right.

Post # 6
221 posts
Helper bee

@Lalalanelson:  I hear ya, but I’d rather wait and know he’s completely ready for it than end up feeling like he was pushed into it. 

Post # 7
231 posts
Helper bee

I think you are overreacting, I have been with my man for 8 years and still no proposal. Everytime I ask why he says he isnt ready yet because he wants to be finacially stable. At least your man gave you a time when he would propose. Just be patient. 

Post # 8
9738 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - Chicago, IL

This is the one thing the guy gets to control. After that, you pretty much pick the date, the venue, the wedding dress, the food, the dj, basically everything, lol. So let him take his time and plan it his way; he probably just wants to do something special. Girls dream of their wedding days their whole lives, but guys do think about the way they want to propose. Maybe he’s always imaged a summer proposal? Let him do his thing, at least you know he is going to propose! Also, it in now way means you’re not good enough or that he doesn’t love you. He just needs to do it on his own timeline, which really isn’t far away! Just enjoy your relationship the way it is right now – because it will change forever!

Post # 9
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Lalalanelson:  You love him so much and want to be with him the rest of your life so badly that you are almost ready to move on because he wants to wait a few more months? Uhhh.. doesn’t sound too loving or ‘forever’ to me. 

Post # 10
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Oh and if he had run in to get the ring to give to you in the car after you were crying… we’d be reading about how you didn’t get the proposal of your dreams and your miserable.   Maybe he’s planning something special, maybe he’s saving up some money…. why the rush to get engaged ASAP?  

Post # 14
4426 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Lalalanelson: Perhaps he has something special planned for the time you graduate? If he has the timeline set out, it could be he wants to do it when you’ve finished this huge step in your life. Keep that in mind-that could be why waiting is so important to him.  

ETA: I didn’t write that as clearly as I was thinking that. Maybe he has planned a proposal that will occur at some celebratory event after you finish school. When do you finish school? 

Post # 15
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@Lalalanelson:  What the other poster said about this being the thing the guy gets to control/be in charge of is so true. It seems that men are pretty straight forward and mean what they say about when they feel ready to propose. If he says he wants to do it in 6 months then thats just what it is.

I understand, it sucks. I waited a long time (6 years!)… in 2010 I just came out and asked my boyfriend when he was going to do it as I was so sick of waiting. He told me he didn’t feel ready for marriage yet and that it wouldnt be for at least another 3 years. I was devestated as I felt ready to be engaged like THAT SECOND. I stuck it out though because I knew he was the one for me and just focused on being happy being together without a ring….just like he said almost 3 years later he got a ring and asked. Sounds like your bf has every intention to propose so your not waiting around for nothing, hang in there 🙂

Post # 16
9129 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

A lot of men want to feel like the two of you are “grown ups” before getting engaged, as its a very mature adult thing to do. And it requires some sense of stability, which is hard to feel when you’re in school, making no money, not sure if you’ll have to move for work, etc etc. 

If you love him so much, just appreciate that he had a plan and enjoy your time with him leading up to that. Good luck!

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