(Closed) Bad waiting week = Depression (rant)

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee

I’m so sorry you’re going through this! *hugs*

It seems like you may need to cool down a bit… you’re probably overwhelming and pressuring him. I’ve stopped discussing marriage with my SO ever since he made it clear that he doesn’t feel the happiness I do when discussing it (it just makes him stressed out), and that pressuring him makes him NOT want to get married.

If you want to spend the rest of your life with him either way, chill out. On the other hand, it’s pretty mean of him to ignore your feelings if you are depressed!! Have you discussed this calmly about how sad the waiting is making you? It seems like you’ve talked often about it, and that he knows how you feel since he apologised.. If you want marriage more than you want him, just leave and save yourself the pain.

Maybe you could try some couples’ activities, like a sport or something. That could revive your love/interest for each other, and make him want to hang out with you to have fun, which could remind him that he wants you forever. If you’re often sad about and discussing waiting, maybe your relationship has become all about ‘waiting’ rather than about being in love and together. I was at that point for a while and it did not work out. So I tried being a better girlfriend (being more supportive, less messy, do more things together) and this seems to be a way better technique. I think some men are really turned off by the idea that their SO would leave them were marriage to never happen, especially if they don’t think marriage is important. You need to find the right balance between honest discussions about the future and just enjoying being together.

Good luck, hope everything works out!

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