(Closed) BADD waiting night

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I never got to the level you were at, but I certainly understand. The thing is, now, looking back on whe Fiance and I were just “dating” – it was so much easier to have more fun then. Now, we’re consumed with wedding planning and frustration and way more obligations to do things. In the past, it was no big deal if I ditched his nephew’s birthday – now, god forbid we both don’t show. 

You just need to sit back, relax and enjoy it. Spending months being upset about a ring isn’t going to make you, or Fiance feel better. Just chill out, and enjoy it before the hell of wedding planning consumes your relationship! 

Post # 4
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

I feel that way too. We are that couple for our friend, yet they keep getting hitched up and here we are still “almost ready” to take that plunge. I just want to be his wife already. I want the SOCIAL recognition that goes with the relationship. I do “wife”  things. I want the “wife” title.

Post # 6
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

@sleepingbeauty88:  *Hugs* HEY sould sista….I hate that song…

Post # 7
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That stage is horrible. I never knew who I was more mad at – him for not asking me already or me for a)letting it bother me and b)feeling like I had no control over my future until it happened.

 

I’m sorry to hear you are going through that, I hate the thought of it happening to others. I’m glad you had your friend to work through last nights episode though.

Sending you good vibes for a good rest of week.

 

Post # 10
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

Well, at least you didn’t melt down on Fiance. So while I know you feel like crap, the good news is that you didn’t actually do any harm to the relationship. Waiting and talking about it when you’re sober and not so upset is a much better idea. I think you absolutely handled this the best way you could have.

 

Post # 11
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Why is being married the mark of a great couple?  I know it’s super hard, and that your ready, but you are missing your life and this man you love over a ring and a question to which you already know the answer….just be in the moment, stop making yourself nuts, and trust this guy your crazy about…he’ll get it done, his way.  And if it’s really soooo horrible, ask one of your friends to talk to him, see if he’s stuck somewhere along the way, sometimes they just need a wingman….I did that for my sister, and her fiance..I talked to him on Friday, we got the ring on Tuesday, they got engaged Tuesday night….sometimes they need some help, but don’t know who to ask…;)

Post # 12
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Been there! I found not talking about it made it worse. If you’re open with each other, you should be able to be open about this too. GL!

Post # 13
Member
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Think of that Bush song. “Machinehead”:

“Breathe in
Breathe out
Breathe in
Breathe out
BREATHE”

It will all be over soon.

*hugs*

Post # 15
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@sleepingbeauty88:  So lease a car together and call it a day…just kidding, I get it, I do…but proposing puts a lot of pressure on a fella, what if he biffs it?  I’d send in a friend if it’s eating at you that much.

Post # 16
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee

I think the worst part about being ready to get married before your partner is exactly this! The insecurity and then the frustration at yourself for feeling so upset and insecure, because you never wanted to be that woman who doubts herself because of a man. It’s awful to feel this way!! I think however we all have to remember that our partners will be LUCKY to marry us. We are great, just the way we are, and it’s our boyfriends’ problems if they can’t figure that out on their own, or if they figure it out, but slowly. I feel you!

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