(Closed) Baddass Bees, share your bad dating experiences with me for some perspective

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
182 posts
Blushing bee

What….

Post # 3
Hostess
8760 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

itwillallworkout :  I get you. So, as you know the person before my now Boyfriend or Best Friend was a total fuck boy (also much prefer this) I was single for 2 years and did a lot of online dating. I had what felt like a million terrible first dates.

 

My personal favorites are:

 

*The man who interviewed me – this man was LATE to the date which really annoyed me, we really were not suited to each other , he asked such weird questions, it was like interviewing for a job I didn’t fucking want. Questions included “Why do you think it didn’t work out with your last relationship?” “Could you have tried harder” – EXCUSE ME?! “If you were to become my wife would you still want to work” Anyway. Super weird. At the end of the date he asked me how I think the date had gone and I said “You seem like a lovely man but I don’t really feel like we have clicked and I do not wish to see you again”.

 

The Creepy, almost certainly gay man who wanted to touch my hair: Yep, that’s right, really weird, he wanted to stoke my hair. He got very drunk and then offered to walk me back to my car and my response was “I think I will be safer on my own thanks” He then text me and asked me out again, I kindly let him down and then he said he only wanted to fuck me anyway (after the Im a decent guy who wants to settle down routine)

 

The Football obessed man: Spent the entire date watching football over my shoulder, telling me the score depsite me saying I was not a sports fan, looked like he hadn’t washed in a week and was very boring. He asked me out again by text. He did not get a response. You can’t be bothered to look at my face during a first date, you can fuck off.

Post # 4
Member
1815 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

When I was a teenager my first serious boyfriend (I was 16) had a serious addiction to porn. He would buy porn from countries like Russia because the stuff here in Canada was too tame for him. He watched all the American porn so much that he knew all the ‘stars’ by name, and could tell you their biographies. But, besides that he was cute, and I didn’t know better, so we dated for about 6 months. And let’s just say I learned a lot in 6 months!

But, he wasn’t thrilled that I decided to remain a virgin – although we did everything else. One weekend we went swimming and a friend from church was there. Now, I was never thrilled with this girl – mainly because she gave the outward appearance that she was perfect. Often my mom would say ‘why can’t you be more like Nicole?’  

So, my friend and boyfriend met – I didn’t think much of it. 

2 weeks later I was going out of town with the school to film ‘reach for the top’ (is that show still on? It was a show where high schools competed against each other answering trivia questions. Like a teen version of Jepardy).

I came back to find out my boyfriend had spent the weekend with Nicole. They had planned it, knowing I would be out of town. She would put out, which was what he wanted. 

Even worse – my best friend knew about their plans to get together the whole time – but never told me.

and I had to still see that bitch at church every week and have my mom say ‘why can’t you be more like Nicole?’  Yeah mom – why not have me steal people’s boyfriends and sleep with them on the first date? 

Even better – my ex boyfriend years later was arrested for killing his wife. He claimed in court that his porn addiction spiralled out of control. He started importing ‘snuff’ films – as they were the only thing that got him excited anymore. He eventually acted out his fantasy and killed his wife during a wild night of sex. 

Looking back at my dating record, I dated a few real losers. I’m so thankful I ended up with the amazing hubby I have now b

Post # 5
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Vineyard Lake

Oh my….seems like I have a ton of these stories! Lol. 

So I started trying online dating. I had never done this before & was kind of leary about it to begin with. I started out chatting with a couple guys for a bit, trying to get comfortable with the idea of meeting up. I went on 1st dates with a couple of different guys to see if there was any chemistry with any of them. One of the guys I decided I was not interested in did not take the news that we would not be going out again well at all! He started yelling at me over the phone that I was a bitch & just used him for a free meal. He went on my FB page and left a messge on my wall to the same effect. Saying I was a user & a whore. We hugged goodnight on the date. Lol. I had to block him.

Then he starts calling nonstop. Leaving crazy messages & texts while I was at work. I should say he was going to school to go into IT so I’m not sure how he did it but he called & it came up as my work phone number so I answered it. It was one of the office girls, but she hadn’t called me. I told her about the crazy guy I had went on the date with & he broke in basically screaming “so I’m crazy huh? Do they know you’re a whore too?” Before I hung up. I finally got him blocked & never heard from him again but it was SUPER crazy!! Needless to say Iwas done with online dating!!

I’m so sorry that loser made you feel like that! I think most of us ladies have been in the same situation before & it truly sucks! Hold your head up high & try not to waste a single thought on that jerk. You will find a good guy when the time is right. Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

I have a few of these too! 

The Creep: we met at a club and hooked up (kissing only) and he took my number. He text me straight away the following day. Offers of wining and dining were flowing and he was filling me with all manner of compliments. After a few weeks and dates we slept together then he ghosted me. Disappeared off the face of the earth. He eventually text me saying he had a girlfriend and I needed to leave him alone! 

A few months later he text to apologise profusely and me being me (and naive at the time) accepted his apology. After a few more weeks of meeting up we slept together a second time. This time he didn’t ghost me but I met him in a bar where we was on a date with his girlfriend (yes he lied again). I threw his drink over his head and walked off. 

After that I let away from him but for over a year he kept contacting me trying to apologise. I warned him to keep away from me or else I’d call the cops, and in the end I had to.

 

The Commitment phobe Suave: a hottie who was also electric in bed. We dated for about 6 months…there were dinners, fancy restaurants, nights in front of the tv with bottles of wine…he was incredible. But out of nowhere I got the message “hey listen I don’t want any commitment. I just don’t do relationships”. I simply deleted his number and didn’t even respond.

The Ex: I dated this guy for almost 8 years through my late teens and 20s. I loved him. I worshipped him but my family and friends hated him. He was nice in his own way. At the beginning he wooed me. Brought me on a whirlwind trip to Paris. Another to London. But he never respected me. He would have week long strops where he’d ignore me because he was in a bad mood. He was rarely affectionate after the 1st year. He prioritised sports and nights out with the boys over dates or nights out with me. We rarely saw each other for more than an hour a week, despite living in the same city. In the end he dumped me, but not before I spent 9 months on the wrong end of a cold shoulder. He started spending more and more time with his friends and not inviting me, he started lying about where he was going and who he was with and being very evasive. Despite all of that when he ended it I was devastated. I ended up with my self esteem on the floor. I had therapy and with the whelp of my friends I realised I don’t need that s**t in my life. I am better than that.

 

so yeah there are knights in shining armour out there amongst the idiots. Just don’t let yourself settle for one of those idiots. You’re worth more than that. 

 

Post # 8
Member
1011 posts
Bumble bee

itwillallworkout :  UGH – so many first dates. The worst, though, was a guy who had just moved to NYC (I had been there a year and a half at that point, and the new shiny city smell had worn off for me) and he was feeling super cool. We went out for a first date, which he rescheduled for THAT DAY THE DAY OF (red flag #1), and I was wearing glasses. When I walked in, he looked at me, made a face, and turned around (I think hoping that it wasn’t me – red flag #2). I had picked the place, and we basically had half a drink before he was like, “let’s go get something to eat.” Okay, cool – I suggest a bunch of places around the area, and he proceeds to tell me there aren’t any restaurants in this area, and don’t I know how he’s lived in the city 3 months and really knows the place by now? (We were in the East Village…) So I show him the place I think might work, and he awkwardly agrees and so we have the quickest dinner ever. I’m grateful, because at this point he’s just talked about himself the whole time and I’m so bored (he wasn’t telling me interesting things – he was just telling me how cool he is because he lives in the city… as do I? But somehow that doesn’t count?). So he asks me to walk him to the train, because he has plans and needs to meet up with people! Um, what? Of course, he doesn’t tell me that until I’VE WALKED HIM TO THE TRAIN. So awkward hug, and I’m like, “okay bye!” He told me he was ditching me to go out with someone else!

So, I assume I’ll never hear from that dude again, when a few days later, he sends me some “repeat” text that he had sent me earlier in the week. I responded “pardon?” and he responds “I didn’t text you, haha you like me, I guess you want to go out again, huh?” 

Needless to say I responded, “You made your level of respect and interest very clear, no thanks”

I think he was shocked because he texted back, “Uh okay??” I didn’t respond after that, and just deleted his number.

A couple of years later I was telling the story and someone said that it sounded like he was trying to use the “rules” of the game, or whatever it’s called, where guys are mean to girls to make them like them? 

It was terrible. 

Post # 9
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee

itwillallworkout :  Mine was more of a couple dates not a big relationship.

He was 28, lived at home with his parents and played video games. To support his gaming addiction he chose to not buy a car and take the bus. I was working 2 jobs at the time, finishing school and had just picked up my first car.

He went on and on about “why are you working two jobs? You do realize you’re not going to get anywhere in life right? Busting you’re ass for nothing; you don’t get rich working a 9-5. How do you feel about splitting the bill half, half.”

Meanwhile his mouth was full of spagetti, eating and chewing pieces falling out of his mouth. I went to the bathroom and never came back.

Post # 10
Member
1945 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Oh I’ve been on some bad dates…this guy sticks out…

Mr-Money-no-Manners: met at a club, my friend introduced us, he asks me out, I say yes, my friend says “don’t go out with him, you’ve been warned”, I’m like “I’ll make my own mind up”. Big mistake. He picks me up like 2 hours late (keeps calling to convince me not to cancel, for the first hour I think he was still just at home trying to change our plans to me just coming over to his house which was 1+ hour away and I didn’t have a car, also 1st date!). In the car he asks me “so tell me about yourself” to which I reply something like (flirty tone) “oh, well you don’t know me yet so that might be a long story, where shall I start?” and he goes, (cold faced tone) “don’t bore me with your life story, just gimme short version”. Parks up nearby restaurant. HE PEES ON THE STREET before walking into the restaurant. He orders a ton of items (it’s an expensive place by London standards – so that’s…a lot). SUDDENLY SAYS HE HAVE TO GO “PICK UP SOME DOCUMENTS” AND LEAVES ME ALONE FOR 20-30 MINS. Our food arrives, gets cold, and I assume he’s bailed on me. I send him a text and he reappears. HE PROCEEDS TO SLAG OFF MY FRIEND BY VARIOUS INSULTS FOR THE REST OF DINNER. Like, that’s my friend who introduced us, what is he doing?! Let’s just also mention there were finger food involved and he never went to wash his hands. We leave. HE AGAIN STOPS TO PEE ON THE STREET before entering the car. We just left a place with very nice facilities?! He’s on a date!? He then insists to take me to a party at a club we were both invited to. In between parking and entering the club, which also has very nice restrooms…you guessed it…more street urination. IMMEDIATELY ONCE WE ARE IN THE CLUB HE ASKS IF IT’S OKAY IF HE JUST LEAVES ME AND GOES HOME. I’m like, then I will also leave, could you please drop me home? Which he did. He then called me and asked me if I would go to a SWINGERS PARTY with him. No thank you. 

Moral of the story? Listen to your friends? 😂

 

Post # 11
Member
9982 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Well, my ex was a fuck boy. But thats a story for another day.

I will say before I met Fiance I tried online dating. I went on one date and one date only before I decided to be a spinster and get a bunch of cats.

I met this guy on the site, and he was super goodlooking (he looked just like Thor!) and seemed like a really nice charming guy. So, after talking for a week I agreed to go see a movie with him one night. Well, my first red flag should have been the fact we had to plan our date around his meals. Apparently, he took his work outs very seriously and had to eat like 20 times a day but didn’t want to have dinner with me because he needed some sort of special meal he prepared at home. Okay, cool, we’ll do a movie after dinner time. I show up to the theater looking for Thor and i’m really confused because I don’t see him anyway at all! Then finally, I hear this voice behind me. I turn around and I realize very quickly why I didn’t see him on my first scan of the room. He looks exactly like his profile picture, so, I mean thats a win. However, he’s only 5’2. I’m 5’5 and had on heels so apparently I just needed to look down a bit until I could find him.

All though I had been expecting someone at least my height I figured height isn’t a big deal and on we went with the date. So we get into the theater early so that we can sit and chat for a while before the movie starts. He starts telling me about how he’s training to become a professional wrestler and has no job. Alright, i’ll go with it. Then we get into how his dad is a lawyer and is pressuring him to go to law school and follow in his footsteps. Damn, family pressure sucks, i’m with ya dude. But this is about the time that things start getting dark. Thor apparently had a pretty serious drug habit but thankfully he’s kicked it and now only does the hard stuff on special occasions just for fun. Why is he single? Oh, he can’t stop cheating on all his girlfriends. But don’t worry, he thinks he might just be able to give monogomy a go for me. After an excruitatingly long time the movie finally starts and i’m thankful not to have to hear anymore. Or so I thought. No, Thor is very vocal about the movie. Shouting things at the screen, laughing at inappropriate moments, yelling that the main characters are dicks and idiots. Charming.

So, sadly, our date is ending. He walks me to my car and I thank him for the evening, get in my car and drive away. As i’m exiting the parking lot I get a text about what time he can pick me up in the morning to go hiking (???????????).

And it was that night I decided NEVER TO DATE AGAIN.

Post # 12
Member
1945 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

As I think about it my bad dates have really been with the opposite of a player, the “anti-f**k-boys” of this world. Those men that consider themselves such a “good guy” and who get majorly butt-hurt when you don’t want to go out with them anymore. Their inner bitterness of so much rejection just comes spewing out in this moment and their good guy act crumples into nothing less than woman-hating (of course they’ll tell you that you’re the one who hates men and are probably a lesbian🙄).

Exhibit A: when I hot footed it away from the bad date (stranded alone in a Sainsbury’s parking lot in his car within the first hour of a first date while he was “buying some chicken and some eggs”…sorry but WTF?!) he then called accusing me of stealing his sunglasses and he would call the cops on me. Uh, ok dude. Ran into him some time later in the same bar we met and received an apology.

Exhibit B: You know when you’re not very attracted to a guy but you’re kind of on the fence like, maybe attraction will build? Ok so it didn’t build and I was certain once we had kissed. We are probably about 3 dates in. After I let him down that there will be no more dates he freaks out over text messages going through all stages of loss within a short space of time. Anger, denial, sadness…to the final culmination: he would’ve been the best sex of my life and I should give him just one chance to prove it! WTF did he really think sex was on the agenda when it took 3 dates to kiss him and I then shuddered at the sight of him? 

Exhibit C: this guy wouldn’t stop asking about why would someone like me be interested in someone like him and was I sure I wanted to be there (well…I just agreed to a first date…feeling less sure now…) and then asked me a lot of questions of what kind of man was my dream man and whenever I would say something vague like “I think it’s mostly about having good chemistry and connection” he would vigorously agree and say that he couldn’t believe we had found each other (…awkward…). The thing is that the longer the date went on the more camp his demeanour became, by the end I was 90% sure he was gay. Since we had zero chemistry I obviously never saw him again but that decision was also confirmed by his texting me as I was on the bus home from the date saying he could really see himself having children with me. 👀 🤔 He switched tune when I turned him down.

Post # 13
Member
1593 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

itwillallworkout :  I could tell several different stories, but I’ll stick to just a couple, and like PPs I will give them all a name, ha

The Frat Boy: In college, I wasn’t in a sorority or anything, but hung with several girls that were, so I was around a lot of guys in a few different frats. I met this guy one night when hanging out with a group of guys in his fraternity. We found out our hometowns were actually 15 mins apart, and we had so much in common. I met his parents like a week after we started seeing each other, and I thought he was perfect – he was so handsome, tall, a smooth talker, and we had so much in common. After a few months of spending most nights together and basically being boyfriend and girlfriend, he stood me up on my birthday – my sister had gotten me concert tickets to see a band I liked, and he stood me up the day of! He begged for me to forgive him and I did, but asked him what he wanted – he said he wanted to just enjoy his last semester with his “bros” and that he didn’t want a relationship. He graduated a month later, and within 2 months of being back in his hometown, he had a FB official girlfriend. About 6 months later, he visited to see some friends, one which my friend was seeing at the time, so we were around each other. We got drunk, started fooling around, and in the middle of it I asked if he had a girlfriend still. He said yes, and I told him to get the f*ck out of my room. He didn’t understand why I was so mad. Seriously? He proposed to her about a month later. They are married with 2 kids now. Poor girl. From what I’ve heard he still goes back to our alma mater to party and get some side action. 

The bad boy: I dated a guy on and off for about a year while in college – he was a bad boy and I guess I was drawn to that. I was blinded by what I thought we had, as he always referred to me as his girl and thought neither of us were seeing anyone else. I cooked for him or brought him food most nights, helped him with homework (or just did it for him), bought him drinks when he didn’t have cash, gave him massages, etc. He said he didn’t want commitment, but didn’t want anyone else, so I continued the relationship. He asked me one night if I wanted to go shopping and asked me to invite my friend that was seeing his friend, so we double dated. He needed to get a shirt for the formal for a club on campus he was in (that he had told me I was going to with him several times before), and had me help him pick the shirt out. 3 weeks later he was talking about his formal, and I asked what the details of it were so I would know and he told me he was taking someone else. I was furious and went off on him. He told me I had no right to be mad because I wasn’t his girlfriend or anything. I also found out he’d slept with a few other girls during the time we were seeing each other, which I’m not surprised about. He’s tried getting back with me since then, because he now sees how successful I am while he is not. 

The guy with the crazy ex wife: This was the last guy I seriously dated before I met my fiance. He was such a sweet guy in the beginning, and we moved pretty quickly. He had 2 kids with his ex wife – and she was absolutely nuts. She started drama with me all the time, tried to fight me twice, and would call the cops on him saying that he’d done something to hurt one of the kids (after they had gotten injured under her supervision). She was actually in prison when he and I first started dating, and went to jail a couple times after that. She texted me a few times telling me how she’d slept with him, which looking back she may have been telling the truth. He did end up cheating on me with her, and turned everything around on me, and told everyone that I was hindering his kids relationship with their mother (all because I told him there was no reason for his ex wife to be in his BED). I could go on and on about all of the shit he pulled. He was a drunk, a liar, a cheater, and a master manipulator. 

I very breifly dated a few more real winners before I met my Fiance, and every single one of these guys makes me that much more thankful for my Fiance. There are still some good guys out there, you just have to put the jerks in their place and walk away when you need to. I always gave too many chances and didn’t end things when I really should have. 

Post # 14
Member
1204 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Oh, man. Do I have a resume full of fuckboys. My favorite is the one my Fiance and I fondly refer to as “The Hottub Guy”. I had recently moved to a new city and tried out online dating. One guy messaged me and we wound up following through on a having a date in person. He was not really my type at all, but I didn’t have a lot of friends, so I continued seeing him out of boredom. (Plus the sex was good.) This guy took me to a party with some of his friends once. They got the hottub at their place going and invited people to join them. Nobody had their swim suits though. This boyfriend of mine took it upon himself to jump in butt naked. He kept trying to coax me in, but there was no way I was getting naked in front of strangers. I was 100% embarassed, so I stayed in the house. I wound up getting drunk with a random guy whose girlfriend was also in the hottub naked. We talked, had a good time, and wound up making a deal that both of us needed to dump our dates after the party. I never saw that guy again. I don’t know if he kept his end of the deal, but I kept mine.

I went on to date some guy who thought he was a vampire. 🙂 LOLOL

Post # 15
Member
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I met up with one guy for coffee, and determined I wasn’t really interested. But he SO was. I was just trying to leave the meet up vague, like “nice to meet you”, etc. he responded with “it was great. By the way, do you have any drug, alcohol, Save-The-Date Cards or a history of cheating that I should be aware of before we progress to a second date?”

pretty sure I just stared at him, shocked, then bolted. He called me on and off for a couple months too. 

I also had one guy that we were texting back and forth one night. Put my phone down to do dinner, stuff, you know, not ignoring him but having a life. 20 minutes later or so I grab it and I had a HUGE string of messages accusing me of ignoring him, how he was a major catch, he couldn’t imagine why I wouldn’t be interested, was I out with another man…

told him he was crazed and then blocked his number haha

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