Badly explain your job!

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
1147 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Not sure if this is correct but I’m gonna give it a go..


Wipe people’s asses, shoot narcotics into veins and type the same thing 5 different ways. For 12+ hours. 

(I’m a nurse) 

Post # 4
6433 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

candy11 :  I play games with kids who suck at academics and fill out a bunch of different pieces of documentation to prove my worth as an employee for every minute of the day (even though almost no one else has to)

Post # 5
411 posts
Helper bee

I zap fish with electricity and check them for cancer.

(This sounds horrible, but it’s for research purposes and everything is done ethically and within all animal care and research guidelines- I’m a gouvernment fisheries biologist)

Post # 6
178 posts
Blushing bee

I make people lay down on beds while I watch them….

Post # 8
66 posts
Worker bee

candy11 :  I cut up pieces of humans that surgeons remove from patients in order to figure out what disease they had/have. Sometimes I dissect people to figure out why they died. It can be very messy.

Post # 9
1365 posts
Bumble bee

I give people coupons to get the testicals or ovaries removed from their dogs or cats. I tell people whether or not their horrible life circumstance allows them to get this service. I supervise 600+ animal control officers by listening to them scream at me and filling out nonsensical paperwork that is public record but which no one will ever see. 

Post # 10
7442 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I read until my eyes fall out and stalk strangers on the internet. I’m a litigation paralegal lol. 

Post # 11
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I’m a waitress who delivers water to customers who “don’t want ice but please bring a straw”, I’m a customer service representative who listens to people call me names and degrade my position, I give medications to people who need a high, and I save lives of those who are on Medicaid but carry Louis Vuitton purses. 


I’m an ER nurse. 

Post # 12
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I command a gang of people who’s only task is to help people die. We meet weekly to talk about how well these people are “progressing” towards death. 

(I run a hospice, & am a RN)

Post # 14
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I force children to complete tasks in order to claim to the powers that be that they are making age related progression despite the fact that I don’t actually know what age related progression is…. and as soon as they go to the next stage that all my work will be thrown out as unreliable for the next level of bodies to try and rate the children as age related  for the next five-seven years despite the fact that they don’t know what it is either

Post # 15
14900 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I just sit around and tinker with a computer. all. day. long. to make sure shit works right.

(I’m a software engineer working in test development).

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