(Closed) Bail on Being a Bridesmaid

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
910 posts
Busy bee

Just dye your hair pink now and send her a pic. Then wait for her to kick you out.

Post # 17
533 posts
Busy bee

Something to consider…

Did sil really forget to ask you or did your mil decide to ask you and sil is p.o.ed but trying to make the best of it?

Weird things happen. I had lost touch with a friend after hs graduation; 6-7 years later her mom calls me out of the blue to tell me the gal is getting married and ask me to be a bridesmaid. I thanked her for asking and asked her to have the Bride call me. I never heard from either one again. 

I do agree with pp, you said yes to sil, an ugly bm dress is not normally reason enough to back out. You are allowed to change after dinner and pictures however. I hope you have a nice time.

Post # 18
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I’d suck it up and do it for my partner’s sake. Then wear the dress to a paintball game and trash it. 🙂 You may not wear the dress again, and it my be a waste of money, but it’s not worth upsetting the in-laws over. 

Post # 20
1630 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

8262015x:  Oh, you are having fun! I think I might draw the line on this one- you’ve kind of sucked up a lot. I feel that if the bride requires professional hair or make-up, they pay. I might just say to her “oh, thank you for the suggestion, but it would be hard for me to style my hair that way and I’m not really a salon person”. In the end, if she continues to push, my guess is your husband isn’t going to want you to rock the boat over the cost of the up-do, but I think she is being quite unreasonable- you are a person- not a prop.

Post # 21
12097 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

8262015x:   Brides do not have rights over their BMs personal grooming choices even if they pay, let alone if they don’t offer. But obviously she does not know this. 

I would just tell her that this was not in your budget, and you are not very good with complicated hair styles. 

Post # 22
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Wow customs must be different where you come from.  Over here (in NZ) we pretty much pay for EVERYTHING for our bridesmaids!  The fact that she chose an (ugly) dress, didn’t order the right size and then demanded payment from you absolutely floored me, but now she is demanding you all get your hair done up fancily, at your own expense!!? The audacity!!

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