- 7 years ago
- Wedding: November 2011
Here’s the situation. I live in London, am getting married in a town two hours away on the south coast, and all of my family and wedding party are flying in from around the world (none live in the UK) to attend. My family and I have rented a cottage to stay in for the 2 weeks leading up to the wedding since I don’t live down there. We’ve also rented a car since I don’t have one (don’t need one in London). Oh yes, and I’m an introvert who gets drained by interaction with people. Eek.
I can’t help but worry that my bridesmaids are going to want to kill me (or perhaps already do…) for not wanting to spend my weeks leading up to the wedding with them. I just told them in an info email that we don’t really need to meet up until the day before the wedding… I want to give them freedom to explore the country and/or explore London before they come down to our wedding, and I don’t think I could handle the pressure of entertaining/babysitting both immediate family and bridesmaids at the same time. None of them want to pay for hotels or transport, and none of them has offered in any way to make steps toward organizing housing, etc., so for them to stay in London at my flat (while I’m at the cottage with my family) until the wedding would be ideal because my flat is free, there is public transport they can take, and there are sights they can see. If they come down to the wedding early, I have to pick them up and drop them off from friends’ houses (where they’ll be staying and which I have to organize) in our rented car that charges for every mile we use. Aside from the stress of them expecting transport and housing, I’m also worried that shuttling them around and making them feel welcome will be more than I can handle when I’m just trying to get through wedding last-minute craziness and would rather be spending those precious days with my immediate family who I haven’t seen all together for 7 years!
I just sent them an email saying that if they were planning to stay in the immdediate area longer than just they day before/day of the wedding, they might want to rent a car so that they didn’t feel trapped/at the mercy of my mom’s pick-ups and drop-offs. I told them that they could hang out at my flat in London for the days leading up to the wedding if they wanted, and then they wouldn’t have to pay for any sort of rental car–just public transport.
I’m just really freaking out that they’ll be offended that I’m choosing to spend the week before the wedding with my family instead of them (even though all of them will be flying in from out of the country), and also worried that they’ll be offended that I’ve not offered to pay for rental cars and nice hotels…
What do you guys think? Am I being a bridezilla? They seem to wonder why I’m not all about hanging out with them for the days leading up to the wedding (except for the day before and day of), and I’m so stressed about it!!!