Post # 1
An interesting article about how one man says “”Since California has decided to protect traditional marriage, I think it would be hypocritical of us not to sacrifice some of our own rights to protect traditional marriage even more,” the 38-year-old married father of two said.” While I personally think a “ban” is a little extreme, he’s definitely making a point regarding “traditional marriage” and civil rights.
I know, for one, my husband strongly believes that if you get married by a church, it SHOULD be made more difficult to separate (yes, specifically a church, because if you’re religious, you believe in the whole lifelong unity thing)–couples counseling should be required and you should have hoops to jump through to prove you actually tried to save your marriage, save the obvious circumstances of abuse and that sort of stuff. I do think some people (not all) give up kind of early and just get divorced as an easy out, like it’s not a big deal, and I think that if there was more emphasis on the importance of marriage, maybe the numbers would be a little lower. I know some people just jump into marriage no big deal (not necessarily here–I think we’re all quite serious, lol).
I wonder what the statistics are of those who get divorced—what the reasons are, and I wonder, how many of those could be “fixed”, ya know? I know finances are big…but still.
PS i hope this doesn’t turn into a big nasty debate. I just thought this was a good article for food for thought
Post # 3
That is really interesting. I don’t see why all people can’t take more time to try and make things work before they divorce. I don’t know anyone who has been divorced personally, but it does seem like a lot of people do it rather quickly without going to counseling and trying to make it work out.
Post # 4
I know in our pre-cana, the couple that taught the class brought up that people who get divorced fight about the same things that people who don’t. And one of the big reasons they get divorced is because they don’t know how to resolve their issues with constructive arguing. So, it sounds like if those people really WANTED to save their marriage they would go to counseling and try to work together, but I think if you don’t start early enough and have put up with 20 years of it, than it could be really easy to just say f*** it and give up.
Post # 5
Since there are states like Va and Tx that believe that to “protect” marriage from “teh gays”, they must eliminate ANYTHING that legally binds two people and ONLY allow them to get married, then I somewhat agree with this guy. If you’re going to screw over people, you may as well go the whole nine yards… :/
Post # 6
I went through the big D so obviously I can’t agree with a total ban 😉
We didn’t get married by a church. I naively went into it thinking that I didn’t agree with divorce. I lived with the person for 3 years before we got married so I thought I knew the person I was marrying. But literally 3 months into the marriage it just completely fell apart. It’s like he just decided to show me what his true colors were, like a switch had been turned on. He pretty much did every thing that would be your worst nightmare in a marriage. And I mean everything. We went through marriage counseling but that was no help since he lied all through every session. Thirteen months later I was divorced and financially ruined. So I am pro-divorce LOL.
It’s an interesting debate though. I could see how someone might want to impose some stipulations on filing for divorce though such as counseling or other things.
Post # 7
There’s a lot of arguments out there for the reasons of divorce and why it’s rate is so high…. Disclaimer, these are arguments I’ve heard and not my own ponderings….
Dating trends – People are used to breaking up when things are hard… or the “passion” is no longer there… if I am no longer happy then I am done.
Sex Trends – People are focusing on physical compatibility which isn’t what will get your through a 50 year marriage.
Birth Control Trends – Divorce rates coincide with the pill starting with it’s introduction and completely paralell it’s rise.
Ease of divorce – More churches accept divorce as the solution… and it is indeed easy to remarry after divorce in most… not the roman catholic though… they DO make you jump through tons of hoops. As a whole though, society has accepted divorce as much as breaking up with your boyfriend. It’s just something that is “bound to happen.”
More broken families – kids see their parents divorce and the cycle continues
Society is self serving and individualistic – It’s about the I not the WE
Post # 8
I’m just glad to see someone doing something! He believes in something and is making a point to do something about it. Thats cool in my book!
Also – from a child of divorced parents (who did wed in a church) thank GOD for divorce! My parents were not right for eachother for so many reasons and I fear that there would have been years of emotional abuse if they had to stay together. I’ve read research that shows that women are more likely to speak out about abuse if society accepts divorce as a solution — so how many people stay in marriages where one or both of the spouses are being abused?
Post # 9
I’d sign his petition if I didn’t live all the way over here in VA!
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2010 - Philippe Park
I agree with him. If people are so hell-bent on “protecting the sactity of marriage” from the gay community, then there should most definitely also be a ban on divorce. I would say the only exceptions being abuse, infidelity, and the like.
Post # 11
I think it’s a pretty clever way of calling out the hypocrisy of banning gay marriage while turning a blind eye to everything else that isn’t part of “traditional marriage.”
Post # 12
I for sure get what he is saying and the point he is making. Maybe I’m kidding myself but I think someday gay marriage will be approved. I’d like to think so anyway.
I wonder how CA voters would react if they saw that on the ballot? Hmm
Post # 13
When I think of banning divorce, all i can think of is how miserable my parents as well as my siblings and myself would be if my parents hadn’t ever been allowed to divorce. I am in the super minority who thinks her parents’ divorce was a Good Thing. My parents were miserable together and that made them horrible, horrible parents. With the divorce, they got counseling and…well…at least my dad improved! lol. I also think how miserable my sister would have been to be stuck with either of her husbands. The first cheated on her over and over and the second turned out to be verbally and emotionally abusive. He really just wanted her to have his kid and that’s it. And while i hope to never divorce my Fiance, I can’t say that i’d want to be stuck with him if no amount of counseling would fix what would be wrong enough to want to divorce.
I agree with the point made by talking about a ban- people who deny other people equal rights ought to think about the rights they could be denying themselves as well- but I disagree with the idea of actually making it reality.
Oh- Texas’ constitutional amendment actually bans marriage, period! Hahaha…go ahead and read the articles:
Post # 14
@Otb, I was thinking that point just the other day! That you let it go, you let it go, ignore X, Y, and Z, it’s no big deal, and then someday, it’s the straw that broke the camel’s back and you are DONE with it. Through. Resentment builds up over time and blows up in your face!
Clever is very much the word I was thinking, Worchesterbride!
@hcritton, I hope we aren’t kidding ourselves. I mean, 100 years ago, interracial marriages were unheard of and women didn’t really go to college and work. We’re slowly becoming progressive =]
Post # 15
I’m divorced, and trust me, it is not easy to get a divorce. My ex-husband and I were “done” long before our divorce was actually final. I left him after counseling and numerous promises by him that things would change. I also dealt with emotional abuse from him as well as his excessive drinking. He was incredibly controlling, he had major “mommy” issues – the list goes on. I would have been miserable had I stayed with him, and I’m so glad I didn’t! I frequently see the argument that it should be difficult to get a divorce, but I do think that argument is most often made by those who haven’t been throught it themselves.
Post # 16
@ejs: Very true, I feel like we (Americans collectively) are close to approving it. Hopefully soon!
@rabbit: Very good points. That’s why I divorced my ex, I feel like I have a right to be happy more than an obligation to stay in a broken marriage.