Post # 1
- Wedding: October 2019 - City, State
First time posting a thread so I’m a bit nervous. We are having some discussions regarding band vs. DJ and it’s been somewhat stressful. My FH strongly dislikes wedding bands, he doesn’t think they sound good and I think he finds them a corny. He also has strong taste in music and doesn’t think a band could accommodate (though realistically my parents’ friends would dislike hearing a lot of his music at the wedding…).
My parents, who are paying for the wedding, strongly prefer a band. They believe it’s classier and more fun for guests. Budget is not an issue for either.
FH has said that he feels there aren’t many parts of the wedding that he can have an opinion on, and I was hoping that he could pick the music. But, my parents feel otherwise, and they are paying, after all. I’m dreading holding this discussion with him.
Did any of you have a similar back-and-forth between a band and DJ? How did you resolve it? Thanks!
Post # 2
We had both. Band played for first 2/3 hours and they were followed by a DJ who played for another 2ish hours. Thats the norm here.
Post # 3
I think I would go with a band. I think they are more entertaining and very live! 🙂 And I love that they set up those lights flashing on the dance floor and colorful lights flashing at them as well. I feel like being in a club, but better! Lol. Good luck with whatever decisions you guys make. I don’t think you can go wrong with either one.
Post # 4
We also had both.
The band performed during cocktail hour, DJ during dinner and from then on, band did 45 minute sets with 15 minute breaks in between where the DJ would come on. They finished at midnight and the DJ took over for the rest of the night.
If I had to choose, I’d probably pick the band. True they do covers but there’s just something about live music that you can’t get from recorded tracks..
Post # 5
We had a salsa band for cocktail hour and a DJ for the wedding. It was great to have both. Maybe that could be the compromise.
Post # 6
band all the way! You don’t have to get a corny wedding band though – I got a local 9 piece brass band that plays all over our area and sometimes does weddings (typically for family/friends). My dad’s friends were all “omg they are playing Lilli’s wedding?! That’s amazing! They are so good!” and 4 years later people still mention to me how awesome our wedding band was. They kept everyone on the dance floor all night. My wedding was actually pretty sweaty by the end because people were dancing so much lol.
Eta. One of my best friends hired a local (adult) marching band. They too were well known in the area and they legit crashed the party by marching in from out of nowhere and it was amazing! So so so much fun!
Post # 7
This seems to be the unpopular opinion based on the comments so far, but I’m with your FH on this one – I really dislike bands at weddings. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been to a wedding with a good band, but I agree that they are usually corny and while some covers work, many do not. If we had went with a band at our wedding, they wouldn’t have been able to play most of our playlist (or play it well I should say).
If you can swing it, split the difference and get both I guess? Everyone wins, everyone is happy. That said, I wouldn’t be prioritizing my parent’s friend’s taste in music over my own husband’s – this is his (and your) day, not theirs, if they don’t like a song, they can sit that one out.
Post # 8
We had almost the exact same disagreement — my parents (who are paying) loved the idea of a band, but my FH and I preferred a DJ because the wedding bands we’ve seen were corny and we tend to prefer original versions over covers. My FH especially had strong opinions on this. My parents ended up respecting his opinion, since he does part-time work as a DJ himself, so they opted to leave the decision up to him. The other factors that went into the decision were that the band my parents had in mind would have been significantly more expensive, and with a DJ we would be able to play a wider range of music genres, which was important to me and FH.
Having both would not be a bad compromise, if you have the budget. For us, we decided against it because of the logistics of setting up both in our venue space.
Post # 9
- Wedding: Scotts ~ Walnut Creek
Count me in the minority opinion. Neither of us care for bands and we had a very specific playlist including a range of artists such as Prince, Sinatra, Aerosmith, Jagged Edge etc., We didn’t feel a band would do justice to the music we had in mind.
This is why I’m not a fan of parents or others paying for things and feeling entitled to make decisions. In your shoes I would respect my future husbands desires. Maybe offer to pay for the music yourselves or have a DJ and band if that works. But come to an agreement that works for the two of you, not your parents.
Post # 10
Depends, do you have a hopeless in love friend who is on a mission to find his future wife and mother of his children? If so you have to get a band so that he can fall in love with the base player…
or just do a short band set and DJ for the rest of the night.
Post # 11
While we are doing a live band (FH is friends with some amazing musicians, and they are super popular in the area), but we had friends that did a small, 2-piece band with a music track in the background. They sang and played guitars (they were phenomenal) and they had a track in the background so it still sounded like the songs. They were great! Plus they had a DJ during their breaks. Maybe you can find one similar?
Just because a DJ doesn’t play the music doesn’t mean he can’t also ruin the vibe. The last 3 weddings I’ve been to with DJs, the DJ was terrible. Typical “wedding DJ”. They would just have the dance floor packed and then play a slow song or something that you just couldn’t dance to. The floor would completely clear out and they would either ignore it and play another slow song, or had some corny response, and play something really stupid in a last ditch effort to get the dance floor going again (cupid shuffle or the wobble or something super corny). At first I was leaning towards a DJ, but after seeing how bad some of them can be, I definitely changed my mind.
Either way, you and your fiance should go listen to bands or DJs that you are interested in. While we were searching for our band (the band we wanted originally said they were booked, but then their gig got moved so they could play our wedding no probem), we went and saw 2 different live wedding bands play. We kinda just crashed weddings! We would go and watch them play a few songs (we didn’t take any drinks or food or anything, even though it was always offered, and it was cleared with the bride and groom beforehand) and leave. It was good to see how they are at an actual wedding. Ask if you can do that so your fiance can see how the bands are in real life!
Post # 12
Good point, I failed to mention before that I have also seen some bad wedding DJs! OP, whichever way you go, make sure you vet your band or DJ and watch them perform if possible.
Post # 13
we are having both. Live hawaiian steel guitarists for ceremony and cocktail hour, not sure if DJ or live music for dinner, and then DJ for dancing.
Post # 14
Oh the other bees are so right though, DJs can be awful too!!!!
My sisters wedding DJ was AWFUL. It was straight out of the wedding singer!!! He played the most depressing country music all night and no one danced. They had asked for up beat country, I swear he just got dumped or something 🤣
Post # 15
For me it really depends on the type of music you are pulling. We have everything from Frank Sinatra to Black Veil Brides so we got a DJ to keep the songs’ own style as much as we could. But if your music selection is largely Frank Sinatra or largely Black Veil Brides, I think a band is better, because it gives more of an intimate feel to the party.
Unless you can afford both, which by all means, get both XD
But that’s just my take 🙂