(Closed) Bank Accounts, how do you do it?

posted 5 years ago in Married Life
  • poll: Do you and your significant other have a joint account?

    yes, joint savings

    yes, joint checking

    yes, joint checking and savings

    no

  • Post # 16
    Member
    1991 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    We have a joint savings, but separate checking accounts. We use the joint savings for vacations. Emergency funds, and saving up for large purchases. We also kept our own savings. We both have access to each others checking accounts, in case of an emergency Or something. We do always ask before making withdrawal from one another’s checking accounts. We came up with a household budget, based on our rent, groceries, insurance (health and renter’s). We make pretty much the same amount, so we do split this evenly. DH has his half of the bills direct deposited into my checking account in 2 installments each month. i them pay all of the bills and by groceries out of my checking account. We pay our personal bills out of our personal checking accounts. This includes; car insurance, car loans, credit cards, student loans, cell phone bills. Eventually some of these items will be absorbed into the household budget. For entertainment such as movies and dinners, we just take turns paying. 

    We prefer to keep separate accounts just because it’s more comfortable for us to feel like we’re managing our own money. As to your question about monetary gifts from the wedding, we just use some of it as spending money on our honeymoon, and the rest was put in the joint savings. We typically reevaluate the setup of our finances twice a year, so I expect this will keep changing overtime. Our last big change was at the end of 2015, putting the health insurance into the household budget. This used to be part of our personal budgets. But since we got married it just made more sense to jump on the same plan and work it into the household. 

    Post # 17
    Member
    1443 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    We have a joint checking and joint savings with separate cards. We did still have our own accounts for a few months after we got married, but we moved to a new state shortly afterwards and combined when we opened our new accounts there. (We both had separate accounts with a small local bank prior to our move.)

    Post # 18
    Member
    674 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    We have joint checking and savings and we did each have our own checking and savings as well until I had to close mine last month to avoid a $12/month service fee.

    DH pays our mortgage, electric, Internet/cable/cell phone and credit card out of his account because thats where his paycheck is deposited to avoid the service fee.. I pay our water, gas and car insurance out of our ‘joint’ account, although I’m the only one who deposits money into this account as I only make about 1/5 of what DH makes right now. Also, we each pay our student loans from our own pay checks.

    We only have this set-up because we each wanted a couple utilities in both of our names and it just panned out this way. We’be been planning on transitioning to all paychecks and bills going into and coming out of our joint account but we just haven’t gotten around to it yet..

    Post # 19
    Member
    382 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    At the moment we both have our own separate checking accounts then we share a savings account. We opened the savings account when we got engaged to save for the wedding and once the wedding is done, were going to use it to save for holidays and rainy days. I think we’ll also put any cash we get gifted at the wedding in this account too until we need it or decide what to use it on. I like having a little fund we can both put in to and dip in to if needed and we always check with each other before we do.

    I’m keeping my own checking account because I’m very money conscientious and like having a grasp on my own pennies. H2B is a little less clever with his money which is fine, he always stays on budget but it’s not my style. He has an income that’s more than double mine though so has more wiggle room to be relaxed about money.

    My H2B is not tight with his money by any means. If I need financial support, he’s happy to give it. He knows he has more money than me so is happy to pay for more than I do. In the past when I have had better finances than him, I have done the exact same thing for him.

    We also keep our own accounts so we can purchase things without constantly informing eachother. So long as we both pay our share of the bills and don’t waste money on frivolous crap, I don’t want to know what he’s buying and the save goes vice versa. He worked for his money so he can choode how to spend it once the financial obligations are done. Both sets of parents have joint checking accounts and that works for them but it’s not for us.

    I will say though, even though we have separate accounts we don’t really view is as ‘my money’ and ‘your money’. In our savings, he has put in the lions portion of what’s in there but has clearly told me that he views or as ‘our money’ since its for ‘our’ future and things we both want/need. In the checking accounts if he pays a bill for me because I’m short on cash one month, he never asks for it back. Out of principle, I will usually return the favour by paying a bill of equal value for him when I next can but he’s not concerned if I don’t. And for example, when I buy food for us, I don’t usually ask him to pay a portion of the cost because I know he’ll do the same for me a few days later.

    I have friends and family with loads of different set ups and the all work for them so I think it’s just what works in your particular set up. 

    Post # 20
    Member
    4239 posts
    Honey bee

    We each have our own accounts- there’s not really any need to join them. Our rent comes directly out of my paycheque, and the utilities have to be under one person’s name anyway, so we each just picked one and it comes out of our account automatically. We each have our own credit card that we manage. We usually take turns buying groceries but we don’t really keep track or worry too much about who spent more. Same with eating out and things like that. I like having my own account and money- I can’t imagine wanting to buy something and having to run it by him first.

    We do have a joint savings that we are using right now to save up for a nice vacation this summer, then after that we will probably save up for a house. He puts more money in it than me, since I’m still paying off my student loans.

    Post # 21
    Member
    836 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    I voted no in the poll, because we currently do not.  But we do plan on getting both a joint checkings and savings acct. DH wants to finish paying off his truck before we get a joint acct, which will be about a year.  He said that is something that he just really wants to do on his own (which I don’t get, but whatever!), so that is why we are waiting on that.  But as soon as that is paid off, joint accts for us!!

    Post # 22
    Member
    367 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2018

    We have separate accounts, but we share the expenses. Right now we both make about the same amount so we split 50/50, but we’ve agreed that if that ever changes the percentage paid will reflect who makes more. He hates anything to do with money, so I handle all of the finances. He writes me a check every month and I pay all of the bills. For groceries, we do a split payment and each pay for half when we go. (He loves grocery shopping, so even though I plan the menu and make the list he comes with me for the actual trip.) 

    I’ve also heard of people having a joint account for bills and then their own checking account so they have money they don’t have to justify individual spending to their partner. We talked about doing that, but so many banks charge fees for checking accounts, and we don’t make enough money to meet the minimum direct deposit requirement for multiple accounts. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    893 posts
    Busy bee

    View original reply
    daniellemc:  There can be a variety of reasons for married couples to have separate finances – assets coming into the marriage, large discrepancy of incomes, differing opinions on how to save/spend, inherited family money, trust issues, independent financial goals, and sheer forgetting to combine.  I think I have been through all of those reasons.  For some couples, it’s a matter of independence, my Mom’s BF never worked a day in her life.  Her DH was the sole income earner and they have extreme wealth.  The each have discretionary spending funds and bicker over if the trip to…(fill in the blank) is worth it because he only flies first class and so if it is a destination that she wants to go, she has to pay to upgrade him from her spending money.  But to my Mom’s BF, it is important for her to feel as though she has input over decisions regarding money even though she fully admits that in truth, it is joint money.  Do whatever works for you and DH, I used to be vehement about independent money but have found that as time goes on, it’s a lot of work keeping everything separate and quite frankly, I am losing the time and energy to do so.  Over time, everything seems to blend together by default.

    Post # 24
    Member
    1054 posts
    Bumble bee

    We have everything separate, but consider everything “ours.” We alternat buying things like cat food/ litter or dinner for date nights. We don’t keep track or anything, we just go “you can get it this time.” We have a savings account just for the wedding. It’s in his name only buy any time I have cash I give it to him to put in there. I don’t think I see us sharing put checking my accounts (and I wouldn’t want to see how much he spends eating out at work. Lol) but we’ve talked about a joined savings for convenience. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    1610 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Cape May

    We have seperate bank accounts. I have a checking and savings set up and DH just has a checking. At first we just never got around to merging them together but a year later it works for us. We also have assigned finances to pay – our rent is joint but he handles the monthly utilities and I handle all the groceries and other house hold expenses that pop up. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    1311 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    mrsfiddlesticks:  Sounds like me and DH. We don’t share any accounts. I’m also quite controlling about money and enjoy having money that’s my own that I can do whatever I want with. 

    DH makes more than I do, so he pays the house, I pay the utilities. It works for us and is simple. 

    ETA: My DH likes to pay everything in cash, and I like using debit cards. So that’s another reason we don’t share. He carries around his whole paycheck in his wallet. I like a card. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    5152 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    View original reply
    daniellemc:  We each have separate checking and savings and also we have a joint savings account. We pay the mortgage half and half, alternate grocery shopping, he pays cable, i pay electric, alternate sewer/water bills, etc. Bottom line is, the money is really both of ours anyway.

    BUT – I like having my own money that he can’t see what I do with. If I want to go shopping, fine. It’s my money and I budget it out. I also am a teacher who doesnt get paid 2 months of the year, so I have my separate savings account to account for the money I’ll need over the summer.

    Personally.. I also think it’s smart. What if something happened (he left you and took all the money, etc.) and you have zero money? Obviously that’s a bit dramatic, but I think each person should have their own savings.

    I can only see something changing IF one of us were to become a stay at home parents and we needed access to all finances, etc. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    665 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    We have everything seperate and always will keep it that way.  I pay the mortgage and groceries, he pays utilities, insurance, and our spending money( going out, dinner etc.). We have it split up proportionate to how much we make. My husband is a banker and refuses to have anything joint when it comes to money. He sees way too much of how it can destroy marriages. Money is the biggest thing people fight about. We both prefer 100% to be in control of our own money. We both save and we both help each other out if needed. It is what works best for us and we haven’t had any issues this way. 

     

    Post # 29
    Member
    831 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2013

    View original reply
    daniellemc:  We have both! We have a joint checking where we each contribute to rent, utilities, groceries, etc. DH makes more than me, so he puts more than me in. We also have a joint savings where we each contribute the same amount every month that will go towards a house hopefully soon! We also each have a separate checking account where we keep our “fun money” and where we pay our personal bills (cell phone, medical bills, any credit cards). I just opened a personal savings account also, with no goal in mind, but will probably go towards baby costs one day, the many weddings I am in, or a vacation. 

    Post # 30
    Member
    9526 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    we are not joint yet.  we’ve been married 2.5 years.  we plan on opening a joint account before our child is born in april.

    we are not tit for tat.  when DH moved in with me when we were just dating, we figured out whao would be responsible for what.  so far it works for us.

    but overall it is is an “ours” mentality.

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