(Closed) Banning “Rude”

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is "rude" used too much?


    A little too much.

    Only when necessary.

    Not nearly enough!!

  • Post # 3
    3974 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I think it’s used waaay too often and most of the time something that really isn’t that bad is exaggerated and made out to be omg the most rude thing ever.

    Post # 4
    2492 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I have not noticed the word “rude” thrown around in the manner you are mentioning. Alot of things that have “rude” attached are breaches of etiquette that will offend guests. Something being done in your social circle, or that isn’t, that someone else considers taboo in theirs is something else entirely. The word that I have seen thrown around much more, and not even used in the proper context (which there isn’t one), is “tacky”. Everything is “tacky” just because people don’t like what it is that it’s describing but no one cares who they’re possibly hurting when they type it. Otherwise you may as well just toss out every single etiquette book and do your own thing. Alot of people already have and don’t care one bit that tons of people were raised a certain way (to follow proper etiquette), especially the older generations, and thus legitimately feel that certain things should not be done to prevent offending others around them. The current generation as a whole does not care and does their own thing, regardless of how it affects anyone except themselves.

    The diversity of cultures, etc is also an entirely different matter that people here do embrace. What is acceptable in one culture or social circle in taboo in another. But posters tend to think that all things should either be taboo or accepted, which doesn’t work in reality.

    Do you have a better word to suggest for describing a breach of etiquette? Even if you did, you can’t force other people to change if they don’t want to, and alot of people tend to be really set in their ways when it comes to that type of thing.

    Post # 5
    1364 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I’ve definitely noticed that it’s been used a lot more lately in posts on the board. I think in majority of cases it’s a genuine case of thinking something is “rude” – whatever “rude” may be to that person considering their upbringing, ethnicity and personal experience. I think there’s nothing wrong with saying that you think that the particular thing you’re discussing in the post is rude, providing you and the rest of WB realize that it’s only rude IN YOUR EYES. After all, tacky is only in the eyes of the beholder, as is something that’s rude.

    Post # 6
    389 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @Ember78: I 100% agree.  Etiquette is a set thing.  It doesn’t change.  It is what is proper and considered in good taste.  It’s not old fashioned – it’s the way things should be so that your guests don’t get offended.

    Post # 8
    2492 posts
    Buzzing bee

    No one likes being told they are rude but many people would prefer being told that than to have everyone be “yes-men” who sugarcoat everything and then talk behind their backs. I agree that your suggestion for an alternative is great but unfortunately you can’t change folks if they have a habit or preference for certain word choices that are offensive to others so don’t be shocked if it doesn’t catch on as you would like.

    Post # 10
    2492 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @Shaydenise, you are definitely in the minority with that view. Online, people have the mindset that they can do whatever they want, everyone else be damned and “people are wrong when they say etiquette can’t change, because it’s outdated and no one follows it anymore, but tradition can’t be changed at all because people will be offended”. But in real life, people actually care about etiquette, surprisingly enough. There will still be some who don’t but they are in the minority and viewed in a bad light. Also surprising is the number of people who believe that etiquette and tradition are interchangeable, when they are not.

    Another thing that you cannot use in any argument is the mindset of “if they were truly offended, they would tell us but because they didn’t say anything, we know for 100% fact that they liked our idea”. No they wouldn’t because it is improper and their mothers and grandmothers would tar and feather them if they did.

    The topic ‘Banning “Rude”’ is closed to new replies.

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