Post # 1
My son is four months old and it’s important to me he is baptized. Darling Husband is Catholic and I am a non-baptized, non-denominational Christian. My parents were non-religions but my grandma was Lutheran and my other grandparents are Baptist. Darling Husband and I were married in the Catholic Church because it was easiest for him, but he is non-practising. I have thought about converting to Catholicism, but have troubles with the Church’s teachings on birth control, women in the clergy, priests being married, the sexual abuse scandals, and same sex marriage. I also recognize the good the RCC does in the community however. No church is perfect and other Christian denominations have their flaws too
I would like my son to have a church home and the Lutheran Church feels the most comfortable for me. Darling Husband doesn’t really care, but for him Catholicism is the easiest because it is what he knows. His mother is a strong Catholic and his nephews are also Catholics. For me, the biggest reason I don’t want to baptize my son Catholic is I feel like as a non-baptized and non-Catholic person, I am not seen as an equal partner in my son’s faith by the Church. I also however, respect my husband’s faith and heritage. Another challenge for me is I don’t have any really close relatives who are Catholic that I could ask to be a godparent (except my aunt or a friend of mine). I would like my sister, my son’s aunt to be his godmother even though she is non-baptized and pretty much agnostic. I know some people would have problems with this as godparents are supposed to be a child’s faith mentor. This certainly would not work in the Catholic Church. My son’s godparents by default would be my hisband’s brother and his wife (he is Catholic and she is a baptized Christian). Again, this feels like the baptism would be all about my husband’s side.
I have gone to the local Lutheran Church and plan to start going on Sundays. So the question is, do I baptize him Catholic and go to the Lutheran Church? This scenario flies in the face of having a Catholic Baptism and its intent? If I baptize him Catholic, I should probably be raising him Catholic? Do I baptize him Lutheran? I want this to be about my son, and what’s best for him. In reality If I left it up to Darling Husband, the kid would probably not go to church because of DH’s laziness and indifference toward religion. Darling Husband is almost more culturally Catholic than a true practicing one. He does however hold the basic Christian beliefs of his faith. One other thing is, we can send our son to Catholic school if he is baptized Catholic.
Thanks for reading this if you got this far. Just, I have been wrestling with this and realize I better get on this if I want to have him baptized as a baby.
Post # 2
I wouldn’t baptized him at all and have the chance to raise him in both churches. When he’s old enough he can chose for himself, maybe he’ll chose neither. He doesn’t HAVE to be baptized as a baby. I was raised RC and baptized as a baby and now I describe myself as agnostic as fuck and want nothing to do with the Catholic Church but due to its teachings my parents believe “my soul still belongs to the the one true church”. It would bother me more if I believed in souls haha.
Post # 3
I can understand your qualms. I was baptized Catholic but grew up in a household that was only vaguely Christian (big on ethics, no interest in church). I had a phase where I identified as atheist but I’m coming round again – but I have massive problems with the topics you’ve mentioned. I’d feel much more at home in a liberal Protestant church – BUT I work as a teacher at a Catholic faith school, so I can’t convert without losing my job.
So my plan for when I have kids: I’ll teach them about the bible and about the history of the Christian faith; I’ll attend different churches with them and when they’re old enough to understand, I’ll try to explain the different branches of Christianity. If they THEN want to get baptized, they can choose their own spiritual home.
So my vote would be: don’t baptize and go to several churches and let your child choose.
Post # 4
I wasn’t baptised because of similar issues you’re facing. My grandparents were catholic, baptist, Methodist and Moravian. Not even the Church of England would work for all of them. My mum and her siblings were all christened twice – once catholic and once CoE.
my parents aren’t religious so they decided it would be easiest to not do us.
my husband is Church of England and for his family it was important our son was christened. We went with CoE as they are a lot more lax on things about godparents. Officially they should be baptised but can be any Christian type. Our son’s godmother is catholic. I’m a godmother although im not christened (not sure if the vicar who did the ceremony knows that)
i would do the laxer of the 2 churches or none at all.
Post # 5
You don’t have to do an infant baptism and you don’t have to be baptized to go to church. I think the way for this to be most about your son would be to let him decide when he’s older what church he would like to be a part of.
Post # 6
I was baptized when I was like 8 or 9 Lutheran. I was raised Lutheran and enjoyed it because our church was v liberal and welcoming to all. Im an atheist now but I would just not baptize right now, you say you plan on starting going to church on Sundays I would just wait a few months and see if you like the church before thinking about baptizing again (though it’s my belief that the child should be old enough to decide)
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2025 - City, State
Why is it important to baptize your son when it isn’t something you have chosen for yourself? Surely, he should have the same choice to be baptized or not, just as you do.
Post # 8
Neither you nor your husband are practicing Catholics, so it doesn’t make sense to me why you’d baptize your kid Catholic. If anything I’d go with Lutheran since that’s where you feel most comfortable and since you actually plan to go to a Lutheran church. But I also agree with pp that perhaps waiting til the child is old enough to decide for himself would be best.
Why is it important to you to baptize your baby? Not judging, just genuinely curious since you mention that you aren’t baptized yourself.
Post # 9
I would wait to baptize him until you can decide what religion as a family you want to practice – or just not baptize him at all.
I know that can be a touchy subject with family, especially if his parents are devot Catholics, but it’s your decision, not theirs. Don’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with due to pressure from others.
Post # 10
I feel you on this. My husband’s whole family is Catholic and I’m not even baptized in any religion, although was raised with Protestant Christian values. My husband never goes to church, but even so I think he would want our kids to be part of his faith tradition. I’m pregnant so I’m not sure what we’ll do… it’s hard!
Post # 11
I was baptized as a baby as were my brothers into the Anglican church. My brothers then went different ways and got baptized again as adults into Baptist and Free Churches. As an Anglican, I believe you can get only baptized once. But… when your child grows up they can choose what they believe for themselves. I’d say baptize into the church you’re likely to frequent, or don’t fret.
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2017 - City, State
As a Catholic religious education teacher, I would vote Catholic, but I’m biased 🙂 As a christian, I thank you for wanting to bring religion into your child’s life and raise him with faith.
The questions I need you to ask yourself; What do you want for him? Do you want him to be Catholic? Do you want to raise him Catholic? Or do you want to raise him Lutheran? Are you planning on attending the Lutheran church regularly? There is no sense in baptising him Catholic if you are not going to raise him Catholic. Now, if you allow him to choose for himself down the line, becoming Catholic as an adult is difficult and takes a year of classes (RCIA). I’m not sure what it takes to become or transition to Lutheranism. You and your husband should have a discussion as to what you want to do and practice as a family…if down the line your son wants to switch or try out a different religion, then he can. Being baptised in one particular faith won’t prevent him from choosing his own religious path years from now.
I was baptised non-denominational Christian and went through RCIA as an adult, and was confirmed into the Catholic church a few years ago. I love the Catholic faith. For what it’s worth – Martin Luther, the man who started Lutheranism, was formerly Catholic.
As a side note – please, please know that you are ALWAYS welcome into the Catholic church, despite being non-catholic or non-baptised. If you feel that you are getting side-eyed or feel uncomfortable in a particular Catholic church, I urge you to seek out another one. On my journey to become Catholic, I tried out 4-5 churches before I found the one that felt like home.
I hope this helps xx
Post # 13
If having your son baptised is very important to you or your spouse, I vote you baptise him as a Catholic. Like MittenSmitten said above, it is very hard to convert to Catholicism later in life. In case your child eventually does want to be Catholic, having him baptized in the Catholic faith, having his communion and confirmation would be best.
If it isn’t that important to you or your husband, just skip the baptism/christening and allow your child to choose which faith (if any) he wants to be baptised in.
Post # 14
I would baptize Catholic… it just seems like the easiest, quickest option… but then I would take a step back and spend the next year or two exploring both my personal belief system and available local congregations.
I suggest this because there are lots of belief variations and sects within the Lutheran faith. Some can be quite conservative (Missouri Synod Lutherans), while others are more inclusive (United Lutherans). I was raised Missouri Synod, but left the church due to it’s stance on same sex marriage and women in the ministry. You also want to find a church community that not only fits your personal value system but which will provide you with the type of community activities (worship services, sunday school programs, social gatherings etc.) that will suit your needs and make you feel included. Your local Lutheran church might be close by, but if they’re lacking in young families or particularly cliquey you may struggle to put down roots.
In short, I wouldn’t get too hung up on any timing worries. Make this thing easier on yourself and treat your son’s baptism and his religious upbringing as two different issues. In a way, it’s kind of like a wedding. The event is less important than the lifetime.
Post # 15
Baptism is not supposed to be “quick”, “easy”, or “to satisfy grandparents’ wishes”. Infant batispm is when the child’s parents enter into a Covenant with God to raise their child in that faith and with the support of that church. So I would wait until you are actually attending church regularly somewhere and know that will be the faith you are practicing and the congregation / parish where you will become a member. It sounds like you’re leaning towards a Lutheran Church and that any ties to Catholicism are only because of family members or “tradition.”
You don’t have to rush because your baby is 4 Months Old. When we baptized our child as a baby, there were families with babies and others with toddlers or preschool aged kids being baptized. Rather to get it right for your family than to rush into something just to check it off.
I could never stand up in the Catholic Church and make a vow to raise my baby up as a Catholic if my husband were non-practicing and I had as many objections as you do to Catholic doctrine and government. It would feel like I was lying to God, the priest and the whole parish.