Post # 16
The Catholic Church teaches that all children will go to heaven, regardless of baptism (at least after the Second Vatican Council). In light of this, I feel that it is important to let a person choose for themselves whether to be baptized or not. Additionally, being baptized a Catholic and then not being raised as one does fly in the face of the teachings of the church.
If it is still important to you and you will be raising the child Lutheran, then have the child baptized Lutheran. Then his baptism will be in the faith he is familiar with when he grows up.
Post # 17
I just don’t understand how having your son baptised is so important to you when you aren’t catholic, are actually against the Catholic Church in many ways and aren’t Lutheran either. Why bother, it all just seems like a big lie. I particularly dislike that you are even considering baptising him and then raising him as a completely different religion.
Post # 18
I was not baptized, but my parents would still take me to different churches so that I could be exposed and decide for myself. You don’t have to be baptized to show up in a church on Sunday. My mom is nondenominational and my dad grew up Methodist but isn’t practicing. My mom would take me to all different churches around the city. Not every Sunday, but occasionally. Sometimes she’d turn to a religious tv channel and we’d watch some random service from across the country. And sometimes she would teach me the Bible herself, showing me things she thought were important. And sometimes we’d go 6 months without talking about religion at all.
They let me choose for myself. They taught me why church can be good, and also showed me the things they didn’t like and didn’t believe in. They let me form my own opinions.
Post # 19
If baptizing is very important to you, I would go with Lutheran since that seems to be where you are likey to raise your child. They can still attend the Catholic Church without being baptized Catholic. If they choose to convert as an adult, being baptized Lutheran will mean they only need to be confirmed Catholic, not baptized again as the CC recognizes other Christian baptizims as valid. Since you and D.H are not practicing Catholic, it would be disingenuous to baptize in the CC as you would be commiting to raise them in a way that you don’t plan to. It’s not up to the grandparents what you do, so try to take that out of the equation. If they try to guilt you, just ask them if they really want you to lie to God and the priest, becasue that’s essentially what you would have to do.
Post # 20
My father was Catholic and my mother was Lutheran. (They have both changed their spiritual paths, hence the “was.”)
They chose not to baptize us so we could make the choice our own.
Post # 21
I feel some PP are being quite rude. It is important to many parents to baptize their infants, and I don’t think you need to question why do it at all, or say the child should get to choose. At the end of the day if the child leaves the faith or converts to another faith, they are free to do so.
canhorsegal : I understand your dilemma. My mothers family is Catholic and I was baptised Catholic, even though my mother is non-practicing. My dad’s side of the family is Presbyterian and has very close ties with the church – we have very high ranking ministers in the family and many of the family are active members of the church, so although I’m Catholic and went to Catholic school, I spent far more time in the Presbyterian church. When I have children I suspect I will officially convert to Presbyterian and have my children baptised in that church.
If you have no plans to raise your child in the Catholic teachings, don’t baptise him in the Catholic church. It would make the whole ritual a lie.
I think a PP had a good idea. If faith is going to be an important part of your family, why not attend a couple of churches and find one that feels a good fit? Then you can get baptised, and then have your childs baptism. Or you could even get baptised at the same time.
Just a couple of small corrections for your post too.
I went to a Catholic school and while Catholic children were the majority and they had first “dibs”, we also had children who weren’t baptised, children who were a different denomination of Christianity and even a couple of children who were of a different faith altogether. I believe most Catholic schools do this.
My godparent isn’t baptised, they just had to agree to help raise me in accordance to the church’s teachings.
Post # 22
One thing in your post I can comment on is your worry about how you will be seen as a non-baptized person by the Catholic Church. My husband and I were married a few months ago, and he is also non-baptized. Due to our schedules we had to do our marriage-prep stuff through 5 different churches (very uncommon). We encountered and dealt with a lot of different church employees, members, and priests, all who knew he wasn’t baptized due to the pre-Cana stuff we were working on. Not one person had anything negative to say about my husband not being baptized, and all were welcoming, while never mentioning RCIA or trying to convince him to become part of the faith. He was worried he would feel excluded or awkward for not being baptized and was a little sensitive about it going in, and was actually surprised and heartened by how everyone treated him.
Every church or person could be different, obviously, but this was our experience.
Post # 23
canhorsegal : I think you should give it a month or two and attend the Lutheran church you want to make your family church. If after that time it feels right to you and your family then you can schedule a baptism there for your son in his church surrounded by the congregation that will be teaching him the faith as he grows. When I was pregnant it was very important to me and Darling Husband to find a home church that we could raise a family in and get involved with. It sounds like you want the same thing and I think that is more important for you and your family and son than appeasing your husband’s family’s faith by baptising your son in a religion he won’t be raised in.
That said, my husband was baptised catholic because that was his father’s and paternal family’s faith. His mother was a baptist preachers daughter. She tried the converting thing but changed her mind because of some of the same reasons you cited. So my husband was baptised catholic, raised baptist, went to a catholic school, went to a lutheran church in college, attended a non-denominational church after college when we moved towns, and now attends a methodist church as our family church. He jokes he’s a bit of a religious mut but he values each of these faith experiences in finding his own beliefs and learning about others’.
Post # 24
I don’t think you should worry about making this decision yet. Try out the Lutheran church and see what you think. Your child can get baptized at any age and it might be better to pick something that you and your husband agree on and to pick a church you have a relationship with and a denomination you agree with. Plus Lutherans and Catholics have similar practices and beliefs, so your husband might be comfortable with your son being raised in that denomination since it is similar to what he knows. Don’t baptize your child now just to baptize him.
Post # 25
My father’s family is Catholic. My mother’s is Baptist. I was actually christened at the Catholic church when I was 6 and did a water baptism at my mother’s church a couple of years later. I never went through catechism or anything so I’ve never been confirmed, but whenever I get the urge I will go to Catholic mass and I don’t feel like an outsider (that statement is in regard to some people on the thread saying it’s hard to become a Catholic when you are older and it probably is, but I don’t think I’ll ever go through the formal channels). I share my experience to say that the baptism decision doesn’t lock you or your child into anything on-going. I would do what feels right and don’t worry too much about it.