(Closed) Baptism- How is this an issue ALREADY! I'm not due until June!

posted 4 years ago in Babies
  • poll: How would you handle the baptism
    Just do the baby dedication at your parents church, babies don't need to be baptized. : (13 votes)
    29 %
    Just do the baptism at your SO's church, who cares if your brother can't be the Godfather. : (3 votes)
    7 %
    Go back to your childhood church that will acknowledge your relationship/brother/baptism : (21 votes)
    47 %
    Other (comment!) : (8 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 3
    11752 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @JustMe12182:  I’m Jewish and a godmother to my friends baby who was baptized in the Catholic Church. Where did you hear that non Catholics cannot be godparents? I’d ask your church directly or find another church that will allow it.

    Post # 5
    1797 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I’m not religious, but I tend to agree with your mother’s beliefs. I think a child should be old enough to make the decision on his or her own. At the end of the day it is really up to you what you want to do with your children. The Catholic Church obviously isn’t recognizing you guys as a couple or members of the church, so I don’t see why you would have your baby baptized Catholic. If I am correct godparents really don’t have any say in anything unless you were to actually make them legal guardians in the event that something would happen to you. Since a godparent is really just a spiritual guide I would ‘unofficially’ appoint whomever you want to take on that role. 

    Post # 6
    7736 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @JustMe12182:  do you mean your parents’ church doesn’t do baptisms, or doesn’t do infant baptisms? Lots of churches don’t baptise infants, but only people old enough to assent to baptism themselves. Most obviously the Baptist churches (hence their name).

    I think you should do what works for you and your husband. If the two of you don’t want to be Catholic, I don’t think you should baptise your child in a Catholic church. There’s nothing wrong with delaying baptism for a while too. (Unless you think a baptism is essential for salvation, which I don’t).

    Post # 7
    524 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @JustMe12182:  I voted that you should go back to your childhood church, but I actually think that it depends on how you want to raise your child. If you’re not going to raise your child in a church that does confirmation, then you should do a dedication. 

    Post # 8
    3720 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @JustMe12182:  To get your marriage recognized, his previous marriage would need to be annuled and then you would either have to be married in the church or have your marriage blessed by the church.

    As far as non-Catholic godparents, the rule we heard is 1 has to be Catholic. The other one does not. Same as Best Man/Maid of Honor.

    If it were up to me, I would not recommend you baptise your baby Catholic. Instead, find a church (like a non-denominational) that you feel at home and do it there. I love the Catholic church, but it doesn’t sound like it is a good fit for you and your family.

    Post # 9
    7736 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Nostawyn:  I thought churches which do infant baptism did confirmation? i.e. it’s either:

    infant baptism, confirmation when older (in which you “confirm” the promises other people made on your behalf as an infant).


    infant dedication (optional), baptism when older.

    Post # 10
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee

    You can have one non-Catholic godparent if you baptize a baby in the Catholic church, FYI. Your brother could be the godfather as long as you also have a Catholic godmother, if you decide to go that route.

    But, on a more practical note, I think the best way to handle this is to tell the moms, “This is an important enough decision that we need to take some time with it. We’ll let you know when we’ve made a decision.”

    Post # 12
    3763 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    Ugh I am seriously not looking forward to this discussion when the time arises for Darling Husband and I! Best of luck 🙂

    Post # 13
    1844 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

      Honestly, it’s something that you and your husband have to decide what feels right to you. My husband is Catholic and I am Protestant. What works for us is that we alternate where we go to church every weekend. We got married in my church (big reason is that my uncle is a minister and I thought it was cool to have a relative marry us), but went through all of the Catholic stuff to have Catholic representation at our wedding. We had our first child a few weeks ago. Before we got married, we agreed that when/if we would have children, they would be baptized Catholic, sealed in my religion, and for confirmation…it’s up to them to choose.

      We are just starting to go through the baptism process with the Catholic church. We’ve run into some obstacles, but Darling Husband and I have talked about them. My sister will be a Christian witness and we will have DH’s brother be a godparent. In our eyes, my sister holds the same title as DH’s brother.

      I wish I had a clear cut answer for you. This is how we’ve handled things so far, and although there have been frustrating parts along the way, Darling Husband and I have worked through them together. The most important part is that you both are on board with whatever decision you make.

    Post # 14
    524 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2014

    @aussiemum1248:  They do. Which is why I think that what really matters is what church they’re wanting to raise their child in. If they decide to raise their kids in a church that doesn’t do infant baptism/confirmation, then they should probably stick with dedication. Most churches don’t re-baptize, so it’s kind of awkward being the infant-baptized kid in a church that doesn’t do infant baptism.

    Post # 15
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Ok so niece had a baby with her b/f (never married& they weren’t going to get married). Anyway niece waited until the child was 4 and had her baptised at a Catholic church.  The godmother was not catholic but the godfather was. (on a side note my great niece was mimicing the priest behind his back and crossing her eyes and sticking out her tongue so i wouldn’t wait that long).  This church is what my family refers to as the “Hippy Catholic Church” vs. the stuckup one that we grew up going to.  So they may have more relaxed regulations. I know they started in a basement in an office building and now have a very large congregation.  My point is, maybe call around and see what you can find. 

    Post # 16
    9955 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Ok, if I read all this right…

    You two consider yourselves to be religious / spiritual, just not identify with any one Church / Denomination.

    Your Husband has “some” connection to the Catholic Church thru his upbringing (Baptized, but never “officially” confirmed).  And additionally he is a Man who has been Divorced, and the two of you aren’t Married (yet)

    So ya, at first glance… there are a lot of hurdles here IF you wish to Baptize the child you two will have as a Catholic

    And that may not be attainable without some extensive work / paperwork for the 2 of you

    And unless things have changed … YES it is true that GodParents in the Catholilc Church (at least when my own kids were Baptized) had to be Catholics as well… because they are meant to provide “Spiritual Leadership” to the child as per the Catholic Church

    So that would eliminate your Brothers from the process of being GodFathers who aren’t Catholics

    As others have said…

    There are many Protestant Churches that do believe in Infant Baptism… so if Baptism is important to you, you probably can find one easily enough

    If you two are content being “Spiritual” vs identifying with a SPECIFIC CHURCH well that is another possibility…

    Cause like your Parent’s have said, there are also Churches that do Adult Baptisms / Confirmations… and your kids can make up their own mind when the time comes.

    I think this is where you need to start…

    Sit down and determine WHAT exactly is important to you as a couple in regards to how you plan to raise this child when it comes to Religion…

    Once you have THAT figured out, then it is a matter of finding a Church (or not) that identifies with your belief system

    Hope this helps


    The topic ‘Baptism- How is this an issue ALREADY! I'm not due until June!’ is closed to new replies.

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