Post # 17
Catholics believe that babies need to be baptised, because if they die before they are baptised they do not go to heaven. The godparents must be Catholic because they are supposed to guide the child in learning the Catholic faith. My cousin had her daughter baptised in a Catholic church before she was married, so it can be done.
Evangalistic churches believe in baby dedication. This basically is introducing your child to the congregation, praying over them, and having the parents promise to raise their children in the faith. These churches believe in adult baptism, which symbolises a person coming to faith in Christ and choosing it for their own religion. Our church will perform adult baptism on someone who was baptised in infancy.
I think that you and your partner need to sit down and discuss how the church will be involved in you raising your children. I would not have my child baptised in a church that I did not intend to attend. Choose the church that you are most comfortable in, and the belief system that you most closely identify with.
Edited for spelling, grammar and clarification.
Post # 18
My mom was a lapsed Catholic with more spiritual beliefs, and my dad was raised Anglican-turned Agnostic (bordering on Atheist) when I was born. They wanted to do a baptism, more as a way to honour my mom’s brother and SIL as guardians if something happened to them, and make them Godparents. They decided to use a Unitarian minister for the baptism. Not sure if this is even an option you’d consider, but I thought it was worth mentioning.
Even being baptised as an infant, I still felt free to explore other religions on my own, and choose what worked for me, which is why I decided to convert to Judaism as an adult.
Post # 19
@red_pepper_gal: I’m not certain if what u stated is in your 1st paragraph (about babies dying and not going to heaven) is still true. I think they changed this dogma…but not 100% sure (I’m not Catholic).
Post # 20
@MrsPHopefully: Fair enough. I’m not Catholic either, but I know that when my mother was a young nurse, they taught them to baptise babies in case they were about die at birth for that reason. *shrugs*
Post # 21
@JustMe12182: you and your husband need to decide how you want to raise your child. It can’t be something you do to avoid upsetting grandparents. Your child, your decision. The sooner you set these boundaries with grandparents the better.
Every Church is different I guess. I’m not sure what your marriage has to do with it. My friend was not married when she had her baby and the priest knew it. So odd how much it varies!
Post # 22
As someone who was raised Catholic and who is now an evangelical Christian and who once was engaged to a Catholic man whose family is Catholic (I later broke the engagement over this and other issues relating to our differences in faith), I understand why this is a major issue for you and your families.
As prior posters have said, only you and your SO can and should make this decision. However, I, personally, would choose to dedicate the baby at your family’s church and allow him or her to choose to be baptized if he or she makes a decision for Christ when he or she is older.
Post # 23
I think you and your SO need to decide what you believe and what you want to raise your children to believe.
If neither of you want to be Catholic, it doesn’t make much sense to go have your child baptised Catholic and then raise him in a non-denominational community that thinks infant baptism doesn’t count.
If you believe that baptism is something that a person must choose for himself, then you shouldn’t baptise your children as babies, but be in a church where they decide when to be baptised.
You said you do not attend church; do you plan on going to church more when your child is older, or only when you visit your parents? If the only church he will experience is when he visits your family, it makes sense to follow their church’s teachings.
Alternatively, if you and your SO find a church you like that does infant baptisms, you could just have it there.
Post # 24
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
@JustMe12182: If you and your SO are not Catholic, then I really don’t understand why you would baptize your baby in the Catholic church.
I would find a Lutheran, Presbyterian, or non-denominational church that will baptize your baby and let you pick your own godparent. If your child grows up and believes as your parents do, then he or she can choose to get re-baptized then.
Post # 25
I would have the baby baptised at your parent’s church if any at all, but that’s me. The catholic church seriously annoys me with the amount of restrictions they have (I mean seriously, what a way to turn people off from the church if they are just starting their search for a faith!).
I was not baptised until middle school because even though both my parents were raised very catholic and attended catholic school, they did not regularly attend church as adults. The catholic churches here refused to baptise me. Needless to say, I was baptised Lutheran.
Post # 26
In what denomination do you plan to raise your child, or do you plan to raise your child in one at all? I would find it disingenuous if you were to baptize/dedicate a kid just to satisfy your parents, only to not raise your child in that faith.
Post # 27
The whole Catholic thing is true – at least in our circumstance. My fiances sister had a baby boy and wanted her brother to be the godfather and since he married a devote strict Catholic it is not allowed for him to be his godfather – therefore by default my fiance is his godfather – he didn’t feel too good about it and neither did his side of the family who are all Luthern. Why, in this day in age, is religion still coming between families? I would not allow this crap.