(Closed) Bar: hosted, open, cash

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 46
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

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crzyorchid:  don’t listen to people who say that not buying ur guests drink is rude!! Like…WHAT? You are already paying for their dinner. If someone needs to drink that bad they should be okay paying for it, and if they get that upset about having to pay for it, then that’s their own shit…

My fiance and I do not drink, so we don’t feel like it’s our responsibility to pay for other people to drink. We are having an open bar and I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. If it is something that isn’t within ur budget to have an open bar…then don’t! At least u will be leaving the option for guests to purchase drinks, it’s not like ur not offering alcohol AT ALL. Lol I would definitely make sure u host non alcoholic drink options, though, for those who do not wish to pay for a drink. 

Post # 47
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Ooh, popcorn time!

But seriously, I’m in the LA area and I’ve never been to a wedding with a hosted bar. All the local ones I’ve attended have been open beer and wine, which I find totally reasonable. One of the top priorities for Fiance and me when we chose our venue was that it had to allow us to purchase and serve our own alcohol. Bevmo delivery ftw!

Post # 48
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I am doing a cash bar.  Many people don’t like this but this is something my FH and I talked very long and hard about.  These are our reasons:

1) We can’t afford an open bar even if we wanted to

2) A lot of people who are attending our wedding are very very very bad drinkers.  To a point where they will pretty much ruin your wedding when they get just that point of heavy drunk and we don’t want that.  We also have family attending and we don’t bad things to reflect on either sides of that so we figured this might be a way to avoid problems.  If they really want to get that drunk and be stupid, they might as well pay for their own drunkeness and not leave us with the bill of whatever is broken or some kind police thing.

which relates to point #1.  Since there’s a lot of drinkers I can already see the drink bill really really really really high and I’m sorry I don’t want that.  I’m already spending enough on this wedding.

3) We want people’s attention.  we have been to too many weddings where people’s attention was all on the open bar.  People just pretty much came to drink and didn’t spend any time in the reception area to join in the bride and groom’s night of fun.

We don’t mind buying a few people some drinks here and there, I know our parents will buy their friends some drinks or some other relatives drinks but I just can’t justify spending another $4000-$6000 on alcohol because it’s very possible(my friend’s open bar bill was $8000).  My concern is more on the people and how they behave themselves.  That’s one of our MAIN reasons for a cash bar not because we are trying to be rude or anything.  This is NOTHING to do with etiquette, this is to do with what we are comfortable with, the safety of others and consideration of others because you don’t want an effing drunk (s) ruining your wedding.

Post # 49
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I say screw etiquette.  You are already spending thousands of dollars so you can have them be at your event, I say it doesn’t hurt for open to buy themselves a drink or two.  You think they would be happy that they are even invited for a special occasion and they’re going to flip their minds all because they have to pay for an alcoholic beverage?  

Everyone has their own traditions and etiquettes so who are we to say what’s right and what’s wrong?  Your faux pas might not be mine because it’s something that’s traditional in my culture. 

So for whoever is dealing with this issue, do what is best for you and not what everyone thinks you should do because that will leave you with hundreds of different opinions stressing you out even more.  reason it out, pros and cons and go with what your gut says because in the end it’s your day and your guests should feel honoured by just being invited and not whether they are getting alcohol for free for not. 

Post # 50
Member
1946 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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lilwickedful:  What you’re saying makes no sense.  People who like to drink will not be deterred by having to pay – ever been to a bar????  A cash bar won’t change people’s actions, it just makes the host look cheap.  And what’s this about people paying attention to you?  I don’t understand.  

If you’re concerned about cost and people’s drinking habits, have a dry wedding.

Post # 51
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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crzyorchid:  So people will have to pay for non alcoholic drinks if you don’t have an open bar?  Like I said I’d rather have a cash bar than no booze but I would be annoyed if I had to pay for soda. I feel like it’s pretty rdue to not provide guests with any non alcoholic drinks. 

Post # 52
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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oneofthesethings:  I’m not saying that people will stop drinking just because I have a cash bar, I’m saying it will help minimize the issue because at least they know it’s NOT unlimited.  And just because I’m having a cash bar, how does that make me look cheap?  I’m alraedy paying for them to be there, I’m  paying for their meal, I’m paying for their entertainment for their night.  How am i cheap??  that should mean that it shouldn’t be such a big deal if they buy their own drinks.  Hell I wouldn’t mind buying a few people a few drinks and there but we decided a couple that we don’t want to pay for EVERYONE’s DRINKS.  As a guest, I wouldn’t find it rude at all to buy my own drinks.  I would just be happy to be invited and have a fun time and if I have to buy my own drink, so be it.  I’ve been to open bar and cash bar weddings and I don’t see a problem with both so I don’t know why people are being so judgemental and saying you are cheap and your are this and that just because you decided to do a certain for a weddng.

It’s not like I’m asking all my guests to pay $80 because that’s how much their meal costs. Now THAT’s CHEAP.

I don’t want a dry wedding because I want people to have fun.  I would rather have a cash bar than no drinks at all.  I’m not that “cheap” as you  like to call it. 

With what you don’t understand … I HAVE EXPERIENCED a wedding where 80% of the guests were all at the bar getting drinks rather than being in the reception room dancing and having fun with the bride and groom.  All they wanted to do was drink and no party.  I’m saying this could be a possiblity that’s what I meant by “attention on us” and not the bar.

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by lilwickedful.
Post # 53
Member
21 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Do what you can afford. I wouldn’t mind if there was a cash bar or no bar. A wedding is about supporting the couple with your presence and celebrating their marriage and future. I attend weddings because I care about the couple or their families, not so I can get wasted and do the Cha-Cha slide.

Post # 54
Member
45 posts
Newbee

We are doing a host bar for $1,000.  We are doing an afternoon reception, and when we reach about 800 they’re going to notify us.  

Post # 57
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2014

A good way to save money is to close the bar during dinner.  Otherwise you can do beer, wine,  soda and signature drinks.  But like many posters have stated have the reception you can afford.  If you want to do a cash bar after dinner, then just let your guests know.  I am sure they are there to celebrate with you. 

 

Post # 58
Member
713 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015 - On a Cliff Overlooking the Bay, Florida

My venue charged me $10 a head for beer and wine up front to have a hosted bar. But I got to select from their VERY nice enough wine room andmy venue go the beer wholesale from the liquor store. Beer and wine will be hosted all nignt. The last 5 weddings I went to the bar was hosted until it reached a specific dollar amount and then it went to a cash bar. 

Post # 59
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

What about doing a $2 or $3 bar. Your guests pay that and you fork out the rest? This is VERY popular in Canada. I haven’t been to any weddings other then toonie bar weddings. Guests are happy and you are happy. I would never pay $10,000 for alcohol, that is insane.

Post # 60
Member
1708 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think this is regional… I am in Washington DC, and I have only been to one wedding without an open bar – it was a dry wedding with no dancing because the groom’s parents are super religious. Every other wedding had an open bar, even if the bride and groom were not drinkers.

If others do this in your area, and this is common among your friends and family, then I think it’s fine. In my social circle and in my culture (Eastern European) it’s pretty much unacceptable to make guests pay for anything, I think my parents would pass out if I even suggested it. 🙂 

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