(Closed) Bar: hosted, open, cash

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 61
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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crzyorchid:  In my area, having been to 10 weddings and asking lots of friends about their experience with cash vs open, across all budgets, the common thing is cash bars. I really do think it is a regional thing. I find it acceptable and so do 50 weddings in my area according to my research  :). (South of Boston MA USA for reference)

Post # 62
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2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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crzyorchid:  

10K is crazy! I think it also depends on the area. Around my area I’ve been to both cash and open. I wanted an open bar, and my mom thought I was crazy, as did most other people I told. We compromised with having an ‘open’ cocktail hour and then having a cost bar.

We want to offer our guests a couple drinks and have a good time. But, we’re not paying for people to get drunk and be irresponsible.

Post # 63
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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lilwickedful:  

I agree. That was the main reason for us having a cost bar. We have A LOT of heavy drinkers on both sides. I completely agree that having to pay for your drinks minimizes the amount these people will over drink.

It’s not cheap, it’s responsible. We’re offering coffee/tea/soft drinks and anything non-alcoholic is free, not to mention people get a couple free drinks and non-stop food. If they want more alcohol beyond that it’s their responsibility, I think that’s fair.

Post # 64
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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winterwoodlandbride15:  Thanks for understanding that! Some people are very quick to judge when mentioning a cash bar and don’t try to understand that there are just some circumstances that will make your day better because you know the people coming to your wedding, not them.  They don’t know some of the personalities coming.  It’s easier said than done sometimes.

Post # 65
Member
15 posts
Newbee

 

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lilwickedful:  I am in a similiar position… I’m almost afraid to ask because of all the strong opinions;)

We are getting married on a tree farm 40 minutes from the city, essentially in the country. Now, the cost of the bar isn’t necissarily the problem (although it is $45 pp). But it is the location of our venue… there aren’t cabs that you can go outside and haul down, there isn’t the train down the street… we are literaly in the country. Soooo, I know that most people will be responsible and arrange for rides and or hotels… but for the rest of the guests who plan to come up, enjoy the wedding then drive back to the city…. I am spending SO much money on an open bar for all those guests who will come up, have a glass of wine and go home…

 

Consumption really scares me- if you put a limit on it, you dont know when it will run out, and then you have an awkward moment when it all of a sudden becomes cash bar.  AND it can get out of control if there isnt a limit… but Open Bar seems like a lot of money considering the majority of my guests will likely have one or two and thats it.

 

So to me, I dont think this is us being cheap (as we can afford it). But I want to be responsible as transportation is a bit tricky at our venue, and I don’t want to spend all this money on a cash bar if I dont think it will be used. If we were downtown and people could jump onthe subway, hail a cab, crash at a friends or walk back to a hotel then totallllllllly. But, I am a bit torn here….

Post # 66
Member
2386 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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SCam:  You need to provide transportation in this case.  I would NOT want to be responsible for people drinking and then driving on a long country road.  

Every wedding of this type that I’ve been to has had a shuttle bus – you can have it pick people up at a certain location and then make 2 trips back – one earlier in the evening and one later.

Post # 67
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Fiance and I don’t drink. My family are not big drinkers and his family are moderate drinkers. We would have been fine with having a dry wedding. I don’t have any friends at all (yes I know that’s sad) and FI’s friends aren’t really into drinking either. Yet my FIL’s are insisting on a top level bar and are willing to pay for it. Fiance and I are allowing them to do this but we are including the caveat that they hire transportation for the guests. Fiance and I know someone whose life was forever changed by a drunk driver and we refuse to allow that to happen as a result of driving drunk after our wedding.

Post # 68
Member
2317 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

I would be annoyed if you hosted the wedding in a flash hotel but then we had to pay for our drinks. That being said, I’d still rather pay than have no alcohol at a wedding.

Post # 69
Member
3022 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

I’d rather have the option to buy than no option at all. But seriously, host beer and wine and non-alcoholic drinks. People can buy their own hard liquor if they must have it. Totally solves the issues.

Post # 70
Member
153 posts
Blushing bee

Gosh we are lucky in New Zealand Open bar is definitely not the norm .. I have never been to a wedding that is an open bar….only beer wine and non alcoholic… That being said I have  also never been to or heard if anyone doing a cash bar.   Our venue we are so lucky let’s us bring alcohol which is great so much cheaper… and we are just doing 3 types of beer and 3 types of wine 

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