Post # 1
Let me start by saying-yes, I know I am being very selfish and those are personal issues I’m dealing with. My fiance is a part of a big family and has 4 siblings. He is the second oldest and we have been engaged less then a month. Within two weeks of us announcing our engagement, his brother who has always been “on top” does the same and immidiately…it’s like ours is forgotten. I am not really mad at my future Brother-In-Law and SIL, but more of disappointed that I feel as if our engagement was “cut off” and my fiance has had to put up with his brother doing things like this his whole life. It’s very difficult as my finace’s parents are in a lot of debt and are required to pay for a shower, wedding and provide a dowry according to my future SIL’s culture which means they will not be able to do anything for their other children’s weddings. In addition, the wedding is a destination wedding that I will not be able to afford nor get off work for and my fiance is the best man. I know I am being selfish but this just seems like a lot to handle. I have left out several other details that make the situation even more difficult.
Post # 2
Culture or no, your Brother-In-Law and SIL have some nerve planning a destination wedding and then expecting someone else to foot the bill!! I wonder why your in laws are rolling over for that?
You and your fiancé should just plan the wedding you two want, can afford, and can feel excited about. Your BIL’s entitlement and cash grabbiness need not affect your life or wedding in the slightest. Your fiance’s parents don’t owe you money for you wedding or bridal showers anyway. And this is not the first time in your life you will be unable to attend an event even though you want to. Just be happy with what is happening for you and stop focusing on the negatives!
Post # 3
im sorry to hear that you are going through this, sometimes the interaction of siblings can spill over and affect you as well as your spouse. It never really stops, my uncle is very much like that with my father even into their 70’s. Remember that at the end of the day you and your spouse will make your wedding special and while help from parents is nice its not a requirement, and if they choose to help one child over another not much you can do about it unfortunately. My adivice is to focus and your own wedding, making your own memories, and realize you happiness isnt dependent on anything they do, your wedding day will be special and amazing regardless
Post # 4
That does sound tough. I’m with GLAMBYLEO, focus on your wedding and make it special for you, despite what’s going on around you. Let your Father-In-Law and Brother-In-Law work through their own stress. Your day is about you and it’ll be as beautiful and wonderful as you make it!
Post # 5
Wow! I really appreciate your ladies advice and support so much. I love your all’s words of encouragement. I want to do what is best for all involved.