(Closed) Barely have my foot in the door and already wanna bail.

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
7288 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

“Somedays I just want to run off to a secluded mountain cabin, have a private ceremony with just Fiance and I, then come home and be like, “Hey, we got married, suckaaaas!”

This!

Post # 4
Member
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Aww…. I am so very sorry this is happening to you.  People should be supporting you and so excited to help you plan your big day. Seriously, if it’s all this stress, you really could elope.  Do you really want people who are THAT disrespectful towards you at your wedding? 

Also, I would have a chat with your Fiance about his mama.  He needs to be standing up to her for you, and helping her to see that she’s being far less than helpful.  If it were me and she handed me her address book, I would have refused and requested a list.  Anyone who is not on that list will not be invited.  End of discussion.

🙁  I’m really sorry…. I hope things start to look up soon!

Post # 6
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

First, breathe! I have panic attacks, too, so I can totally sympathize.  I understand that you can’t ditch the entire thing and elope….but what if you scaled it down to the bare details?  That’s what I did for my wedding.  I didn’t want my engagement to be full of stress and panic attacks–because I know how I can get sometimes.  I had thirty guests at my wedding, just closest family and friends (parents, close uncles and aunts, no cousins or other extended family). I kept everythign extremely simple and I had a very relaxed time leading up to the wedding.

It also helped that I refused to deal with my husband’s side of the family–all wedding communication between them and us was up to him.  My Mother-In-Law wanted an elaborate affair with her 200 closest friends (haha) and I got the attitude quickly that she was going to be unhappy with everything anyway, so I made her son do all the dealing with her.

Post # 7
Member
7288 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
@Pinksapphire: Can grandma attend a private elopement?

It would save so much money and sanity.

but anyways, I know you are already up to your neck in wedding business, so the best thing to do is power through it and stay true to your goals! A wedding i always going to ruffle someone’s feathers, and you have to let it roll of your back.

Post # 8
Member
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Have a private elopement with grandma there! Go to her town, pick her up, and get fancy, I bet she would love to be a part of it. 

Post # 11
Member
3172 posts
Sugar bee

i would just go run off and get married if i were u

Post # 12
Member
2468 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

if this was me, i’d be telling fi he needed to be helping a lot more. there’s just no reason you should be bearing the brunt of the stress alone, especially if he’s the one who wanted the wedding rather than eloping. so for example, anytime someone starts giving you crap about his side of the guest list, hand the phone to him or say they need to talk to him (or better yet, his mom). it just isn’t fair at all for this to all fall to you. 

Post # 13
Member
3317 posts
Sugar bee

#1. You didn’t have to send STD’s at all.  So if I were you I would have scrapped the 25 freebies and hand written a note to your guests if you couldn’t afford them all.  Or just not sent STD’s at all.  Don’t buy into the industry hype that it is required.

#2 Your Fiance is not doing this wedding for granny.  If he was he would do in someplace where she was SURE able to attend.  I would not have a wedding you don’t realy want for a relative that isn’t for sure coming. 

#3 Maybe Future Mother-In-Law is trying to not meddle too much.  She has told you her 3 guests she would like invited.  The rest I would invite only who you and Fiance want there.  It sounds like she doesn’t care (which is really a blessing).

It really sounds like you don’t want a wedding with all the trimmings.  See if you and Fiance can meet in the middle for this wedding.  Good luck.

Post # 15
Member
7581 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

View original reply
@Pinksapphire: I’m not trying to be mean or snarky so please don’t view it that way. If you can’t afford a couple extra STD’s how are you going to pay for the wedding?

Post # 16
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’m sorry to hear that everyone is being so opinionated. One thing I’ve learned is NOT to talk about my wedding to most people. Since I’m doing it my way and I don’t want everyone to know exactly what my wedding will be like before they get there, I just change the topic if people ask specific questions. My new favorite line is…”I guess you’ll just have to see when the day comes!”

Good Luck! 

 

 

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