- 9 years ago
So, the STD thing turned out to be a fail for me. I got 25 free as a part of a promotional deal on Vistaprint. I didn’t think I needed more than that. I ended up not having enough. I couldn’t afford to buy more, though. I ended up having to choose between sending several newlyweds their own STD, or sending one to their parents (heads of their families) in hopes that the word would get spread amongst them. I know there are some pretty strong feelings in regards to that, here on WB. But, I had no choice. I was in a bind and didn’t have the means to send everyone their own STD. Invitations will be different, I’ll have enough of those to send everyone one of their own. But, I didn’t have enough Save-The-Date Cards to mail to everyone who just got married last month AND their parents. I’ve already had one person call my mommy to tell on me. I’m sure the rest of them will be next. My mom is also pissed that she didn’t get one, but I didn’t think the parents were supposed to get them? I mean, our parents are aware of our plans and everything and are apart of all plans. They know everything going on and have already started working on making their travel arrangements. I didn’t think they needed a reminder about their own childrens’ wedding?
Then, there is the whole last name thing. I have offended so many people over something so freaking stupid, it’s ridiculous. Not only are the people I mentioned above offended that they didn’t get separate ones with their new married names, I’ve got divorceés offended that I put their married names on the envelopes. Well, excuse me! I was not aware that after my 22 years on this Earth, you just got your maiden name back last week! Geez! My mom’s best friend got married when I was a baby, or before I was born. Her last name has ALWAYS been her ex-husband’s. They divorced in 1997. She couldn’t afford to get her maiden name back. Just as recently as May, my sister’s graduation announcement was addressed to this woman in her married name. So, I sent my STD to her name as I’ve always known it. She called my mom saying, “Why didn’t you tell her I got my maiden name back?!”
Future Mother-In-Law didn’t want to help me address envelopes or tell me who to invite to the wedding. She simply gave Fiance her address book and I had to do everything myself. I was not only very upset, but also very confused. I felt like I was gonna screw up and not invite the right people, or invite the wrong people. With no opinion from Future Mother-In-Law, I had no idea what to do. Fiance isn’t much help, at all. He knows just about as much about his own damn family as I do. In the address book was his uncle’s ex-wife. She is very close to Future Mother-In-Law (FMIL hates her own brother), so I knew I needed to invite her. In the address book, FI’s aunt was listed as Jane Doe (with Doe being FI’s uncle’s last name). I know their marriage did not end amicably and things were messy, still are. But, I did not know this woman’s maiden name, nor did I know if she had dropped her married name to get her maiden name back. I figured she kept her married name because most of the time people with children do to make things convenient. I specifically asked Fiance if his aunt had changed her last name back after the divorce. He said probably not. So, I addressed the envelope to Jane Doe (since that is what it said in FMIL’s address book). When I told Future Mother-In-Law about it, she got a very pissy attitude with me. Umm, wtf?! She was like, “Oh no, honey, she changed her name back immediately after the divorce. She doesn’t wanna be associated with my brother.” Etc, etc. I was just thinking, oh well, you should’ve f’king helped me!
I am just so up to my ears in undue stress and anxiety caused by this wedding that I feel I am going to break any minute. I had been panic attack free for nearly two years. Now that I’m in the depths of planning/worrying about this wedding, I’ve been waking up every morning at 6 AM with my heart pounding, having to coax myself out of a panic attack. My agoraphobia is slowly trying to sneak back up on me. I know it’s all due to this wedding. Not only is everyone making me nuts with their complaints and demands, I am worried about money and standing up in front of a crowd.
FCIL hates the Bridesmaid or Best Man bouquet and the dress. She is under the impression that she is going to be able to find this David’s Bridal specific color at a consignment store. When she volunteered to be in the wedding, I specifically asked her if buying a $100 dress from DB would be too much. She insisted she could afford it. Now she’s acting like she can’t. My sister wants to be the star of the show in stiletto whore heels and a tiny dress. She wants her dress to be shorter than FCIL’s. People are telling me who I can and can’t invite, what they don’t want to eat, what kind of music to have, you name it.
Somedays I just want to run off to a secluded mountain cabin, have a private ceremony with just Fiance and I, then come home and be like, “Hey, we got married, suckaaaas!”