(Closed) Batchlorette Party ????

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

It is actually very common to pay for the bride at the bachelorette party. But if they choose an expensive one then it’s ok to say that’s too much for you and to not go.

Post # 4
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

While in most cases the Bridal Party will pitch in and pay for the bride – it is not required nor should be expected.

Are you the MOH? If so, I would talk to her other BMs to see what everyone is comfortable pitching in and discussing if splitting the cost was a viable option & it not, then the Maid/Matron of Honor should inform your sister.

Post # 5
Member
2116 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with you. Normally, she wouldn’t have to pay but for a trip, she should pay for herself. And if she planned it- she should definitely pay for herself. My girls and I are going to Vegas and I don’t expect them to spend a penny on me because they already paid 200$ for airfare + spending money (our hotel is free becasue we have a time share).. $700 is really expensive!

Post # 6
Member
827 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I know that it can be considered tradition to pay for the bride, but we’re also doing an expensive trip to New Orleans.  I do NOT expect my bridesmaids to pay, and honestly I would be uncomfortable doing so.  I think you should talk to her.

Post # 7
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Just tell her that its more than what you can afford and you are already strecthed thin with your finances

Post # 8
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Every bachelorette party I have ever gone to the guests and BM’s pay for the bride. The party is for her so she shouldn’t have to pay.  The cost is buildt in for mine for example for who ever choses to come and they are all told that upfront.

Post # 9
Member
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’m having mine in Austin and my girls are all over the country.  They are paying for some things but I have paid for others.  I believe they are paying for the hotel for the two nights we are together and probably drinks at the bar.  The rest I am planning on paying for or have paid for already (including my own airfare).  I don’t think it’s right to make them pay so much when it’s a destination bachelorette party.

Post # 10
Member
5786 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m having a destination bachelorette and I paid for my own flight. My Maid/Matron of Honor surprised me and is paying for my share of the hotel. The only thing I kind of expect all the girls to pay for is one night out (dinner/drinks). At the very least I think your sister should be paying for her flight.

Post # 11
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee

OK first of all… she was way out of line planning her own bachelorette party.  Second of all she was SUPER out of line for making it an expensive trip away.  I just don’t even know what to say about that fact that she is now TELLING you that she expects you all to pay for it.  You need to tell her she’s out of her mind.  I would never request a destination bachelorette.  If my girls had decided on their own that they wanted to plan one I would have gone, but I would have never allowed them to pay for my travel expensives.  I think drinks and dinner are the only things the bride should expect her BM’s to cover.  And even then you don’t ask for it!  If no one offers to pay for you then you pay for yourself.  End of story.

Post # 12
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Generally, bridesmaids treat the bride.  That’s because generally they are the ones planning the party.  If you do the planning, you do the paying. 

The bride should not be planning her own bachelorette party in the first place.  If the bridesmaids want to plan and pay for one (which is totally optional and not a “duty”), it’s up to them to plan and pay for what they can afford.

Post # 14
Member
2233 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with the others in that usually the BMs and Maid/Matron of Honor split the cost since they plan the party. Since your sister planned this whole thing I don’t think it’s fair of her to expect for her trip to be covered. Maybe speak to the other girls and see what they think but in the end I think you will have to be honest with your sister and tell her that it’s too much for you. 

 

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