(Closed) Battle of the Bridal Shower

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’d probably talk it over with my Fiance and see what he thinks his mom would be receptive to the idea or not and go from there. I def agree, that is a monster guest list for a shower and better split up. Another avenue you could go is have your friends throw you a seperate one and the other with the family maybe?

Post # 4
Member
1271 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I would cut your guestlist.  There is no reason to have 90 women at a shower.

Post # 5
Member
4520 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I would not ask my Future Mother-In-Law if she wants to host a shower. That puts her on the spot — if she wants to host one, she’d offer.

I’d just cut your guest list. The shower is more for people who are really close to you, I think. Close friends, immediate family, that kind of thing…

Post # 6
Member
46416 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

90 is way too many guests for a shower. I would ask them to find some cutoff point that works to keep the guest list to 30-40 women.

It would not be polite for you to ask your FI’s Mom to host a shower. Your Fiance however, could ask his family if they were planning on hosting a shower for you.

I would also not be comfortable with my Mom co-hosting my shower. I would ask the aunt to be the hostess, but your Mom could help as much as she wants.

Post # 7
Member
5183 posts
Bee Keeper

Jesus, 90 people?! I am inviting 30 and think thats way too much! Cut your guest list significantly! If possible split it into 3. 1 by your aunt for your family, 1 by one of your girl friends for your friends and IF fi’s mom offers, 1 from her for her side of the family.

Post # 8
Member
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree, I wouldn’t ask my Future Mother-In-Law to host a shower in my honor. 

Maybe you could have your fiance ask his mom if they are planning anything because your mom & aunt are trying to work out a guest list and don’t want to invite people to 2 showers. If she says she’s not planning anything, I think your only option is to cut your guest list some how. If she is planning to throw one, then your problem is solved without the faux pas of asking someone for a shower in your honor!

Post # 9
Member
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Do not ask your Future Mother-In-Law to throw you a shower, that is not polite.

Talk to your Mom and Aunt about the guest list and see what cuts you can make.  Remember, not every female invited to the wedding needs to be invited to the shower.

Post # 10
Member
2849 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I agree that you need to cut your guest list. Draw a line somewhere, like just close friends and immediate family. 

Post # 11
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee

Don’t forget that if you KNOW someone who can’t make it to the wedding IS on the list for the party! Bridal party, siblings, cousins, aunts, grandmothers and best friends/special guests.  If that DOES equal 90 for you, cut it down to JUST family and then one for JUST friends! Children don’t need to be there unless nursing, imo.

Post # 12
Member
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yikes! I had a friend who had 70 people at her shower…they were ALL of her mother’s friends. Worse, her mother asked the Bridesmaid or Best Man (I was a BM) to pay $350.00/person to accomodate this at a restaurant. I’m still very angry to this day about it.

I am inviting 30-40 people…bridal party, SO’s of groomsman, my aunts and female cousins and I have asked my Future Mother-In-Law if there is anyone she thinks I should invite. Luckily, I have a small family and most of his is out of state but 90 people!? A shower isn’t a wedding!

Post # 13
Member
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Actually, if they’re already planning to throw the showers, I don’t see anything wrong with proposing a split – say if one person wanted one part of the guest list, and the other person the other. But that sure is a lot of people.

Post # 14
Member
5662 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

You really have 90 close female friends and family members? I mean, could be but I think sometimes people think they have to invite all female wedding guests and really it should be immediate family and close friends.

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