(Closed) Battling Financial Balances

posted 3 years ago in Finances
Post # 2
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee

When my husband and I had been dating a year and a half, we made the decision for him to change his career. It involved a lot of money juggling and reliance on my income, and more than a few months of scraping together and forgoing Christmas gifts and the like. It was tough, but he worked hard and now that we’re on the other side of it, we’re so happy we got through it. It’ll get better, this is a short term thing. Sacrifices aren’t only financial. His daily life is consumed by his studies, when you say yourself the whole point was to make sure he could get a job where he’d have more time with you. I’m sure it’s rough on both sides. You made this decision together, and you’ll go through it together. Maybe you can communicate more about how you’re feeling, and plan out the goals you have for the future, past his graduation? It can be a lifesaver to have a light at the end of the tunnel.

Post # 3
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We were in the exact same situation as you, only I was the student! We started out together on good incomes, then I decided to persue 4yrs of med school. We put marriage/mortgage/kids on hold and to top it off I now have almost 200k in student debt. My Fiance supported us the whole time and I know he had moments of feeling bitter so I think that’s completely normal you feel that way. But my Fiance (as are you!!) are such wonderful, selfless people so believe me, I’m sure your Darling Husband really appreciates everything you have done for him and the sacrifices you’ve made. I love my Fiance for many reasons but his generosity and committment to my goal is nothing short of amazing and I’m so grateful to him.

Just keep reminding yourself that in the long run, it’ll work out better for the both of you. It is a hard journey but totally worth it if it means he’s in a better job for the next 30+ years of his working life! 4 years is only a short time in comparison. Now that I’m qualified and working, I love spoiling my Fiance every chance I get. You will get through this 🙂

Post # 5
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee

Girl, vent away. I totally get why you’re feeling frustrated. It sounds like you guys have a great future plan mapped out. You got this!

Post # 6
Member
8724 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

beignetwife :  It’s worth it. I’ve been there. Not the exact same situation, but similar. It will be really hard for the 4 years he’s in school and it might be kinda hard for another 4 after that. But then you’ll have a nice comfortable life for the next 50 years.

The resentment is harder to know how to handle. Is he studying and doing all he can for your future together? If he is, and you are in it for the long haul, then you have to try to get rid of that resentment. If he’s half-assing it and playing video games while you work 2 jobs, that’s a different story. But if he’s studying and working to make a better future for the 2 of you, you should have faith and see it as a joint sacrifice.

Post # 7
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee

Student loans are OK! If it was really bothering you I would take out some student loans for tuition. IDK what your job is, but when he graduates your household income will likely double and the loans will be very do-able to pay off. I’m in professional school so we have loans and we take out tuition in order to be comfortable. Not a ton extra, but enough to be reasonably comfortable. Unless I was drowning in other debt, I would stop the two extra jobs you both have and take out tuition loans and live my life. 

Post # 8
Member
5897 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

beignetwife :  I’m sorry you are struggling!  This sounds like a really hard time, but you’ll get through it.  It sounds like you two are working well together and an engineering degree should really pay off in the long run.  It also sounds like you are making smart sacrafices now to minimize loans and debt.

You can do it!  Band together and learn to love rice and beans.  One day you’ll be able to regile your kids with stories of back when you were poor newlyweds. 

I’ll also say – my Darling Husband is an engineer and it’s a blessing.  Although I have a good job as well (thank god), his is more stable, he earns good money, he gets great perks and benefits, and he actually really enjoys the work.

If you see him working hard remember that it’s for both of you and don’t feel restenful.  You guys can get through it.

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