- 10 years ago
- Wedding: October 2009
So it seems most people here are writing about their Fiance being under-involved in the wedding planning. What about one who is suddenly over-involved??
I have done a lot of research into reception sites, and we went to see some. It seemed afterward we both agreed on what we wanted — we were leaning toward the more artsy, "modern" sites, not so much toward historic sites, or hotels/country clubs. There were two places in particular that I *thought* would end up being our choice.
Well. Fiance has now decided we should check out more places. OK, fine, I let him do the research and make the phone calls. I’m down with checking on a few more. But now … he seems intent on checking out every friggin’ possible site within a 150-mile radius. We’re in DC. There are A LOT. And he’s thrown in a lot of places that I *thought* we had agreed weren’t really our taste. There was even one we saw that I thought we both agreed wasn’t what we wanted, only now he’s saying he thought it "wasn’t so bad."
I’m getting upset because I feel like if we keep looking around, we’re just going to make it harder on ourselves and it will only lead to a lot of second-guessing … not to mention more arguments if, say, we don’t agree on a certain venue. Our wedding is October 2009, so we have time, but I had really hoped to get something booked by the end of the summer, just for sanity’s sake. Plus, things are already getting booked for our potential dates. Now I’m not sure when a booking is actually going to happen.
Fiance says I tell him one thing one day, then something else the next, which I’m really not trying to do. But who knows, I’m feeling very overwhelmed! Last night, he pulled up some caterer’s Web site with (I kid you not) about 70 places on it and thought we should start going down the list. I said maybe we should just start with the list he had already put together (which was about 15 places) and he went off on me for it, saying I had asked him for help but now was telling him he was doing it wrong, and that I always tell him he does things wrong, etc. I have no idea what set him off, that was not my intention at all. We’ve been together three years and I’ve never seen him act this way!
I’ve been in tears at various points the past few days, and I know I’m not making him happy either, and right now I’m about this close to boxing his ears over all this. I told him today this is not worth the argument, that something needs to change because we’re getting away from what matters — that we love each other, and that’s why we’re getting married.
But mostly I just feel like he’s making this much more complicated than it needs to be. I want it to be a choice we both agree on, because it is *our* day, but right now I’m fantasizing about cutting him out of the planning altogether … even though I know that’s now what I really want to do.
Sorry this is long. Any words of wisdom?