Post # 1
So I wanted to pick your brain on this subject.
To give you some background, I work in corporate sales. I’m in the US butover accounts are overseas, so I travel probably twice a year to see them. Started doing this about a few months agodissolve I’m kinda new. The sales force in my company is about 15 men and myself. Obviously you can tell this is a pretty male dominated industry, but my company along with other offices started to change this.
All the guys are nice to me and you can tell they want to help me succeed.
I few days ago I had my first review, and it went pretty well, except at the end, my boss made a comment that went like something like this: ” so and so was very successfull but she was such a flirt “. I was told I had to take advantage of me being a woman and use my charm.
I consider myself to be classy and Classic, so in a men’s world I try to be a little bit more conservative because I do not want any gestures or comments to be misinterpreted. I do want to make clear all these guys are extremely respectfull and have never made me feel uncomfortable.
So the question is, can women use their “charm” and be a “total flirt” without giving the wrong message ? How do yo do this?
Any bees in corporate sales using the charm to close business and how?
Post # 3
I there’s a line between being charming and being flirty!
Just be careful to stay on the right side of the line…
Post # 4
Personally I would not go down this road as a matter of principle.
I’m similar to what you described – I try to be somewhat conservative in the workplace because I don’t want to distract anyone from focusing on work and ideas. I’ve also had an older male mentor suggest to me that I use my feminine wiles or WTF ever.
I openly argued with him about it, and frankly the suggestion was so insulting that I was about ready to punch him out. I have the right to be judged solely on my character, skills, and arguments. If anyone around me doesn’t recognize that right, I will refuse to deal with them.
Have you heard it suggested that a salesman should flirt with a female office manager or person in charge of ordering or whatever in order to make a sale? That strikes me as sleazy and desperate. I have the same opinion when it’s a woman flirting to make a sale.
I have seen firsthand that women are capable of using their sexuality to close business without committing themselves to any actual romantic or sexual involvement. But I have no idea how to do it, I don’t respect it, and I refuse to be involved in it no matter who tries to push it on me.
Post # 5
Yes, absolutely you can. Its called using your natural personality. Just be sweet and charming and that will be enough. If your clients genuinely like you and respect you, you will do well.
Post # 6
so basically your boss told you to ‘ho’ yourself out for sales or success. i work with 9+ sales reps who tell me this quite frequently however they are the only ones who financially benefit ! Doesn’t bother me too much because wig we are being totally honest, the best performers in the sales arena are good looking , charming people
Post # 7
I think he may have been thinking of charming more than flirty. You absolutely need to turn on the charm in sales – both men and women do. That’s what sales is about – sealing the deal. Not at any cost, obviously, but I think using your natural personality to help is definitely in the job description.
Post # 8
@JAM1982: In the industry I work in, you have to use your “natural charm” to be successful. But there is a fine line. I will flirt yes, but it’s completely harmless and I am in no way shape or form hiding my ring as I do so. I’m not “single” by day and engaged when I come home.
Post # 9
As a woman the ball is already in your court w/o even having to overtly flirt or anything. Be friendly, sweet, and nice- just be your natural female self- and men will automatically like you better/be more eager to please you vs another guy. That’s what I really believe at least. You don’t have to do or say anything that has anything to do w/ sexuality outright. Just be yourself, and don’t be afraid to throw in a little humor or flattery.