(Closed) Be excited or else …WTF? (vent)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

You’re not alone in this boat. Fiance and I are both fairly introverted and don’t enjoy being the centre of attention. We originally wanted to elope, yet our parents seemed to get very upset by the idea. We compromised and we’re having a fairly small wedding.

I’d be lying if I said there haven’t been aspects I’ve really enjoyed. I loved buying my dress, doing the food tasting, and suprsingly doing an engagement photoshoot. Yet the social aspects seem to really bug me. The engagement and bridal shower have been stressful and awkward (I feel guilty for being showered with gifts).

I constantly get told by my mom, sister and Future Mother-In-Law that the wedding is all about what I want, yet no one can understand that I want an intimate wedding where Fiance and I will manage to have some time to bask and glow in our bond; rather than attending to acquaitances.  A lot of the ladies at my job are constantly ooo-ing and ahh-ing and asking questions regarding the wedding. It almost feels like it’s supposed to be the centre of gravity of my life at the moment, but I’d rather just live normally.

Post # 4
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I didn’t scream about my engagement and impending marriage from the rooftops either. I actually managed to keep the cat in the specified bag (meaning that I told people but only certain people) until about two weeks before my wedding day when my now Darling Husband had his bachelor party and all of the guys in attendance except the best man who planned the party were not invited. One of the guys was engaged to a friend of mine and I was like OH well cat’s out of the bag now once he gets home.

I’m not an introvert, but I really didn’t feel like yelling it from the rooftops. Maybe it was because I realized that nobody would really care and everybody would assume they were invited. My wedding was tiny, barely over 10 people, and I didn’t want snarky obnoxious comments from people because they weren’t invited .. that sorta thing.

It is entirely your prerogative to feel however you want about your wedding/marriage, as long as it’s not dread or fear 😛

Post # 5
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m going to play devil’s advocate and say that perhaps you reacted a little overly sensitive to your friends’ text. Without knowing either of you, it sounds as if she was just sharing news of your wedding with people you know in common, not necessarily realizing it would bother you. Even if she knows you’re not at all for being the center of attention, and that you’re trying to keep your wedding small, she might not have thought you’d be upset about her mentioning this news. Shoot, lots of people I know knew I was getting married; didn’t mean I invited them all!

Anyway, I just wanted to say it’s probably a small misunderstanding, and stress (on both ends) can amplify it. 

As far as any disappointing glares… just ignore them, people will get over it. Granted they shouldn’t care in the first place but weddings bring about weird reactions from people. 

Post # 7
3692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Your Maid/Matron of Honor was incredibly rude to talk about your wedding with people who weren’t going to be invited.

I had an incredibly small wedding.  We only invited our parents.  Why is it that it’s your wedding, and supposed to be about what you want, but everyone has to butt in with what they want?

Post # 8
7403 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Wedding really bring out the worst in folks. Is it supposed to be about you? Yeah right, it some how ends up being about eveyone else and them projecting their feelings on “your” day. It’s pure madness.

Post # 9
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I can relate! That’s why we eloped!

Post # 10
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@ambereyez:  Girl, I hear you.  I get it that some folks want to celebrate it and congratulate you, but that also means opening yourself up for criticism and snarky comments.  Everyone seems to have a judgmental opinion about it, and it is freaking EXHAUSTING dealing with all that.  I’m a very private person too, and feel awkward about being in the spotlight, and also hearing criticisms about how come we didn’t have X,Y,Z at the wedding.  Sigh. 

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