(Closed) BE HONEST WAITING BEES!! HOW MANY PLANS HAVE YOU MADE WITHOUT THE RING??

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 47
Member
2564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

The bf and I have discussed venue (beach wedding), he’s told me what he wants to wear (lol) and I’ve been of course perusing WB looking at photos of all the gorgeous dresses, cakes, etc.  I’m also obsessing over colors in a way I have never obsessed before!  So yeah, a bit of planning has already begun. 😉

Post # 48
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@Crystals_and_Colour: okay, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt because this is obviously a touchy subject for you and will try to keep this polite.

A marriage and a wedding are not the same thing.

Sure, I thought of marriage. I hoped I’d meet the right guy. But I didn’t plan our wedding – our, not my – before getting engaged because a wedding involves two people and it’s not something to decide all by yourself.

The other person might have something to say about the kind of ceremony or the time of year or the reception venue.

You say that, because I didn’t plan my wedding before I got engaged, it must have just fallen into place because I don’t care what kind of wedding I have. You can plan a wedding after you get engaged, it is actually possible.

I’m bemused as to why this makes me a hopeless romantic, as I kind of thought it was the opposite thing, but whatever. I would suggest you maybe need to step away from the wedding planning and live your life.

Post # 50
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@Crystals_and_Colour:  she was responding to your insinuation that people who don’t plan their weddings before they get engaged are deluded romantics.

Post # 52
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@Crystals_and_Colour:  I wasn’t trying to be condescending, I was just responding in the same way that you had previously responded to Moomin. Which I think was equally rude, by the way. Far be it from me to judge anyone and I’m not going to continue with this thread as it’s going way OT.

Post # 53
Member
24 posts
Newbee

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@Moomin: @doorstopper i know that a marriage and a wedding aren’t the same thing however the question that began this particular conversation is whether or not u have made plans without having been engaged as yet. That’s the problem with most people today they never look @ the question being asked and the answer being given to that question in the context of which the question was asked. This isn’t a discussion about marriage, it isn’t a discussion about whether or not I am crazy to have planned a wedding that I will not be having. This began with a question: “Be honest waiting bees how many of you have started planning your wedding without having the ring?” My answer to said question is yes, yes have. I have a binder with colors and ideas, dreams ad visions so that when I meet the right person and when we do get engaged would have already thought about all of that suff. I made a point to note that I am not a crazy (nor idle and someone has insinuated) person for doing so and there was a reason for it. I do not believe that my perfect wedding will just fall into place no matter who I marry, I believe in planning, I believe in execution, that is who I am. I do not question who any of you are or why u choose to do the things you do. I do not refer to you as crazy for not having a plan just as there are people who wouldn’t think that I am crazy for having one. I apologize for my previous snarkiness I had just woken up and was pissed because apparently everyone seems to only see the part where have all these plans but am not in relationship but didn’t take the time to see how I ended up with them in the first place you just assume that I one day decided come hell or highwater I would get married without any rhyme or reason when that in fact wasn’t the case. I kept my binder because during the process I fell in love with the ideas styles and vision that I had accumulated and afterwards said that no matter who I married I would want some aspects incorprotared into it. hopefully this has been clear enough for everyone involved. 

Xoxo

Post # 54
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@Crystals_and_Colour:  you said EVERY woman imagined her wedding.

I disagreed with you.

Clearly shouldn’t have bothered. Good day to you *unsubscribes*

Post # 55
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I already knew a few things, place where I want to get married, who some of my bridesmaids are going to be, the fact that my dress is going to have colour in it, I’m going to wear flat shoes. I know where I am getting my cake from ( a guy I used to work with has his own cake business). I know who my photographer is going to be, (we are former school friends). 

A neighbour of my parents has ran a limousine company for years, and I’ll have my flowers created by a florist business who are are about a 15 minute walk from my parents house.

 I’ve recently changed my mind about the reception venue though so I am glad I have not booked anything yet lol. All I need to do is set a date, choose dresses and suits, choose bible readings, sort out my guest list and invites and choose a reception venue. Decide on table decorations and the meal. All these things my mum can help me with :-). My only problem is paying for everything! 

 

Btw I have already decided on the first dances lol

Post # 56
Member
1209 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@9fiddy:  Interesting take, but not usually the way it turns out. Nice joke though. 

Anyway, I’m goal oriented and a planner. So when I know I have a big task coming up, I try to be as prepared as I can without going overboard. I’ve done my research, complied what I like and have a general idea of what I want things to look like. However, I haven’t made any calls, looked any venues in person or anything. That will wait until I get engaged. I know what my budget will be as well, so it’s good to start looking at pricing and what we can afford.

My SO is extremely laid back and I know that I’ll be doing a majority of the planning. I’ll ask for his opinion as much as I can but I know my SO; he’ll tell me to make the decision. Plus if I don’t have plans ready to go, my dad will try to plan the wedding for me – no freaking joke. I watched my sisters fall straight into that trap and decided that I wouldn’t make that mistake. 

I don’t see anything wrong with gathering ideas and inspiration. And if you are going to have a short engagement, it might be necessary to start planning. 

Post # 57
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Oh, I started planning with my little sister since I was maybe 5! We would buy bride magazines and make portfolios of everything we wanted our wedding to be. But the only thing I have seriously planned as of yet is my groomsman 🙂

I also don’t understand why people are taking offense to what 

View original reply
@Crystals_and_Colour is saying. It’s sort of ironic that we are on a wedding planning/idea sharing site and ppl are hating on her because she has things planned before being engaged. We obvsioualy ALL ON HERE think about weddings from time to time 🙂  

Post # 58
Member
41 posts
Newbee

Not so much planning here, But tons & tons of ideas that change from day to day Lol…

Post # 59
Member
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

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@misskittenn:  OMG I’ve said the same exact thing about the photography! My boyfriend is a photojournalist and I like to play around with my dslr for fun, and I would totally take my own wedding photos (if I could) lol 

Post # 60
Member
2861 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Is signing things xoxo to take the sting out of being incredibly rude a thing now?

Post # 61
Member
52 posts
Worker bee

Everything for us is pretty much planned and ready to go. Just waiting on the ring and the money at this point. 

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