(Closed) Be Honest…

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
2765 posts
Sugar bee

If you ever figure this out, please let us know!

Post # 4
Member
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

i’ve noticed that sometimes the very qualities that attracted you to that person tend to annoy you later.  

With that said, I accept it.  I don’t think I can change him.

My Fiance, likes to talk loudly and be the center of attention.  Well, it’s what made me notice him, for sure.  I am more the quiet type so his loudness sometimes embarrasses me but I know I can’t change it.  So, I’ve tried to change my attitude about it.  We’ve also had talks about it and he understand that I don’t enjoy being the center of attention, so he’s more conscience about it when I’m around.  He’s still loud and having fun, though. And, you’re right, we can’t expect them to change.

Post # 5
Member
2779 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m with Charm, people change and develop during relationships and things that start off as being adorable can end up being irritating. 

I love FH, sure he has his faults but I still love him all the same. We both know what annoys the other person and we try to be considerate when we’re with each other. FH loves to tell awful jokes. And with his family they get about 10x worse. But he knows that I can only take so much joking so he tries to be more aware and considerate when I’m around. The moment I step out of the room though, I hear the laughing 🙂 It makes me laugh just knowing he keeps it all in until I walk out to get a drink.

Post # 6
Member
2280 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

What’s the point of the relationship if everything is perfect? What could I learn from being with someone who does everything the way I want them to? I think that marriages work best when two people put their differences to good use, and grow from them, rather than picking on them as faults. I know what it feels like to be afraid of expressing myself in a relationship, and it sucks! I’d hate to do that to my SO.

Conflicts and differences should teach me how to understand and manage the differences, not smother them. That’s the beauty of lifelong relationships like marriages and family. I become a better person when I learn to live happily with people who are very different from me.

Post # 8
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

No, he’s adorable to me lol!!! We’re past the honeymoon stage and I actually feel that if I change anything about him he wouldn’t be him.  Now, do I wish he’d clean the hair up after he shaves YES, but is it a deal breaker, absolutely not lol! I’m sure he wishes I’d do the dishes immediately after dinner and fold loads of clothes as soon as they came from the dryer.

Post # 9
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I have a lot of male friends and I see that all the time. Its honestly a little sad to me and I feel really bad for them. My FI’s friends are always telling him how lucky he is that I am not like that. I mean who am I or anyone else to change a person. It just seems mean and rude. If you dont love them for who THEY are not who you WANT them to be, how are they truly going to be happy. I dont want a submissive guy anyway, I want someone who is proud of who he is and stands up for himself. 

Post # 10
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I love my SO so much but I will admit I would like it if he would shave on a daily basis- not changing his personality or anything that drastic…

I wouldn’t want to change his personality because then he wouldn’t be who he is and changing one little personality thing could change his attitude towards me and various other parts of his personality.  I might get frustrated sometimes but I know I love him as he is.  

Post # 11
Member
5497 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@Cre-I was just thinking about that! lol. Fiance shaved before he went to work today. Gross! = )

Are there things I wish he would do differently? Sure! Are they things I am going to change? NO! Because then he wouldn’t be the same person I fell in love with.

Post # 12
Member
10218 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2010

@HB: his daughter totally told him today DADDY clean this mess up

Post # 13
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Haha I agree with crebre!  I can’t harp on my husband for not cleaning everything up when sometimes clothes sit in the basket for a week or two before I put them away.  Oops.

Post # 14
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Private home

This wasn’t an issue when we met, but after I lost a large amount of weight, I began working on changing his cooking habits.  He’s very southern, and to him it isn’t good unless it’s smothered in cheese and deep fried.  I need to have a lot more vegetables (that aren’t fried) in my daily diet to keep from ballooning back to my previous weight.  He’s been getting better, but really, it just comes down to me doing a lot more of the cooking.  We’ve had several fights over it, but at the end of the day, this is not something I’m backing down on – especially since he just got his medical test back and his cholesterol is sky-high.  On the other hand, he’s trying to make me neater – but since that doesn’t have medical backing I think he’s going to lose that one 🙂

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