- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014
I can’t believe I am on a public forum for this….but my future MIL is driving me nuts. I am not saying this to be spiteful, but I can’t even tell my fiance what I think…..I think my future MIL has a severe case of Bipolar disorder along with a couple paranaoia disorders. She is definitely not well, her behavior is not the usual MIL annoyances, these are big things that only somone with a serious problem would pull. I don’t even know where to start for all of this, but Ill start with the thing thats been bothering me the most. This is just a small sampling of the strage ways she acts on a daily basis.
FI and I got engaged in September, which is football time!! 🙂 He coaches for a high school football team and they started a new system this year so the playoff qualifications games were pushed up by almost 4 weeks….So in October were all the stressful games. Since we were just engaged we were both over the moon, he was excited about us being married and also the big games coming up. Well on Saturday his mother calls and texts him an excessive amount saying that she needs to see him that day, before the game that its really important. So he of course goes to meet her at a local diner 2 hours before his big game. In the middle of the restaurant she hands him her will and directions on what to do with her life insurance money and she tells him that her doctor told her she has only two years to live. Now a lot of things started to make sense, for the past year every couple months she would invite him over for a super secret dinner that I was not allowed to go to. Every time he went to one of these dinners she would show him where her stash of cash was stored (every few months she moved it) and she would show him where all her documents were moved to. IMO this seems a little bit along the lines of severe paranoia.
Of course he was upset over all of this, his mother told him she was dying and would basically only be alive a few months after the wedding. She instructed him not to tell anyone, not even me and keep it to himself. Uh….ok. Well of course hes going to tell me, he was a wreck for almost 3 weeks, never seen him cry but he cried for days. So the focus was on her for good reason, or so we thought.
Well when FI quentioned her about her 2 years to live diagnois, after she told him it was definite and she was dying….she ended up saying that her body lost the ability to produce adrenaline, and without adrenaline if a person gets cancer your body cant fight it off. There was no cancer, the doctors didnt tell her she had cancer. She saw a 1 in a million possibility and took it to an extreme. Without adrenaline if she were to ever developed cancer it could kill her in 2 years, but she doesnt have cancer and there is no cancer in sight. I hate to sound like I am not sympathetic but It seems to me that she just made this a bigger deal, presented him her will and everything hours before a big game and a few weeks after the engagement for attention. Why else would she only tell him and ask him not to tell any other family? If she was truly dying, she would let her whole family know, she has five sister and I know this is something she would tell them. So as the weeks go by she informes FI that its nothing to worry about any more, its no big deal.
Well on Thanksgiving FI and I had plans to go see my family. We see his mother at least 3 times a month for dinner, we see my parents once every 2-3 months. We divide holidays between his mom, his dad and my parents. Thanksgiving happened to be my familys day this year. His mother knew this. Well he had a football game that morning and she decided to go, except she didnt leave her house until after half time, so she was only going to be watching the last 15 minutes of the game. I was in the shower and when I got out I had 2 missed calls and a bunch of angry texts from her saying “I can’t find the football field and now Thanksgiving is ruined”……”Your family only likes FI because hes good to them and sees them on Holidays, because of him I didnt get to the game and now I am spending thanskgiving alone. I turned down so many other offers to spend thanksgiving with people because I wanted to see his game. I hope you are happy and enjoy thanksgiving with your family”…..no joke thats what she texted me. He didnt ask her to go to the game, that was her decision. She didnt have to go to the last 15 min she could have left earlier to get to the game and then she wouldnt be late or miss the game, but she CHOOSE to go to the very end of the game and she CHOOSE to not take anyone up on their thanksgiving offers. So when FI got home he informed me that his mother called him 15x after the game to yell at him how he ruined thanksgiving for her. Of course he stood up to her and said that she is never to text me or talk to me like that again, holidays are split up for a reason we have only a few holidays to split with a bunch of family and we wont always get to see everyone. Then she pulled the medical card, and started crying and told him she was sorry and its not her fault that shes been a medical experiment.
Medical Experiment?????? A few weeks prior we had gone to dinner and she was telling us how her doctors wanted her to eat/drink and take these viatmins and pills for her bypass surgery and she was saying that she wont take them. She said “what kind of life would I be living If i have to revolve my day around doing what my doctors tell me”….so we know that she was supposed to be taking stuff for me bypass surgery but she was refusing to….and now shes pulling the medical experiment card? Um….how can that be true if shes not taking anything anyways.
Other paranoia behavors include but not limited to:
-There was a big accident on a local highway and she told us that the accident on the highway happened because the democrats wanted to raise taxes so they made the roads slippery with black ice. Absolutely 100% convinced she has a paranoia issue. She truly believe that it was not real ice but it was man made for political reasons.
-She told me I can never get our kids (that we dont have and wont have for years) vaccinated because childrens doctors use kids as experiments for new medicine. Uh…thanks lady but I think Il take my chances getting the kids vaccinated, they are less likely to die from a vaccine than they are to die from whatever disease they are being prevented from.
-We will be having a fine conversation with her,nice and calm and she will go from 0-60 and get angry, aggressive, or very nervous at the drop of a hat….and then at a drop of a hat go back to a normal attitude.
I love him and I am going to marry him, I know this is something I will have to deal with for the rest of my life, I just don’t know how to deal, I dont want him to be insulted that I think she has some genuine mental illness problems….so I havent said anytihng to him yet. Ive just kept my mouth shut. But when she makes him cry for days on end because she lies about having cancer and dying is not sometihng I am willing to put up with, if it continues I might have to stand up and say something. It may be hard to tell since this is all written and you havent seen or heard how she says or acts when she says these things.
Ugh sorr for this long post, sorry If i seem like a terrible person, I know I opened a can of worms by posting this. 🙁 I just need to get it all out since I cant exactly tell FI any of this yet.