Post # 1
**I am probably going to sound like a spoiled/ungrateful brat in this post so I apologize in advance**
My Mom bought me a set of beautiful Tiffany pearl & diamond earrings for my bridal shower to wear on my wedding day. She is very generous with gifts of jewelry, which usually is great but in this case is causing a slight problem.
While the earrings are very beautiful, they aren’t my taste. In fact, they are way too big for my small features and I almost feel a little ridiculous wearing them. I am going to wear my hair up, so the earrings will be very visible even from far away.
I told my Mom I love the earrings, but I didn’t mention anything about wearing them on my wedding day. I’m not sure what to do here, if I should just suck it up and wear them because they were a gift or if I should break the news that I don’t feel comfortable wearing them and try to exchange for something smaller.
Please let me know what your thought are! Thank you!
Post # 3
You should be honest with her. Tell her how much you appreciate the gift but that it doesn’t fit your vision for the wedding day. Maybe she will let you exchange them.
Post # 4
Do you have pics with them on?
Post # 5
It’s important for me to wear exactly what I want and what I think looks best on my wedding day. I think you should just explain to her that it’s not really what you are looking to wear on your day. I think it was a big assumption for her to think that you would wear whatever she picked out without your input at all.
Post # 6
Ah, that’s tough! Do you have a photo of them? Or a link to them? Just curious.
Honestly, I’d probably suck it up and wear them. At least during the ceremony/formal pictures, and switch to something else for the reception. I would hate the idea of hurting my Mother’s feelings.
Post # 7
I think you should be honest with her. She’s your mom, she wants you to be happy. Just be sure to tell her how much you appreciate the gesture and it means so much to you that she wants you to have something special for your wedding day.. but that you would like to exchange them for something a little less dramatic. I think she would absolutely understand.
Post # 8
maybe you can go with your mom to Tiffany’s and exchange them for something you like better. So you’ll still be wearing something your mom got for you for the shower, but you will actually like them.
If I were your mom, I’d rather have you exchange it for something you like, because if I spent money on expensive jewelry, I’d want you to really love it. I know my mom would feel the same.
Post # 9
Be honest with her and hopefully she is fine with exchanging them. If it were me I wouldnt want to spend all that money for someone not to wear what I picked.. Id rather atleast find something we could exchange it for… good luck!
Post # 10
Thanks Everyone. They are the Tiffany Aria Drop earrings, here is a link. Unfortunately I don’t have any pix with me wearing them. As a disclaimer, they look a lot smaller online than they are in person – my regular everyday pearls are smaller than the top pearl on these earrings.
Now that you will all see the price, you see what kind of position I am in. I really don’t want to hurt her feelings or act like a spoiled brat, but at the same time they aren’t my taste and I feel uncomfortable wearing such large jewelry.
Post # 11
this is so funny, i’m having a really similar issue, except it’s my fmil gifting me really beautiful, elegant, family heirloom jewelry, and i’m not sure whether i will wear it for the wedding day like she wants or not because i don’t know if it fits with my dress and other jewelry. i voted “no you don’t have to wear it,” but being in a similar boat i know it’s easier to say than do! i’m not sure what i’m going to do yet, i think i’ll wait to decide when i have fittings and try the different pieces on with my dress…but ugh it’s so hard! one of the pieces is this big, amazing diamond and emerald ring, but if i wear it it means i can’t wear my engagement ring on my right hand like i’d planned and it’d show up my wedding band, and rather than dropping it she just still keeps pressuring me about it…
Post # 12
My mom and I also often times have very different tastes and she always tells me that she would rather have me exchange something she gets me for something I like than to have me keep the thing I don’t care for and never wear it. Even if you were to suck it up and wear these earrings she got you for the wedding, would you ever wear them again? It sounds like probably not.
I’m sure your mom would much rather go with you to Tiffany’s and exchange these earrings for ones you’ll love and will wear over and over again. It makes them a much more meaningful gift than earrings you just let sit in the back of your jewelry box.
Post # 13
Wowza, pretty! I’d wear them cuz I like them and I like dramatic but if my mom gave me something that I knew I wasn’t going to wear – we’d be exchanging it pronto! Your mom wants you to wear these for a decade and think of her and smile when you put them on – if you never put them on… the purpose is ruined. My two cents.
Post # 14
@finaroo – I’m so sorry to hear you are going through the same thing!! I think with your Future Mother-In-Law it might actually be harder to deal with than your own mother. I understand what you are saying about the ring showing up your wedding band, I wouldn’t want that either. With the pin, you can always attach it to your bouquet for the walk down the aisle if she is cool with that! Good luck!
Post # 15
I was going to suggest what Jacqi did. If it were me, I am fairly sure my mom would be way more upset about me wearing something I don’t like than telling her I would like to exchange them! I would just be honest, and suggest you go pick something out together 🙂
Post # 16
Whoa, those are beautiful! But, ya can’t force it! If you choose to tell her the truth, I’m sure she’ll understand. Those are heirloom pieces, so be sure to wear them as often as you can after that! Or, just give ’em to me 🙂