(Closed) Because going behind someone's back turns out well…

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
6359 posts
Bee Keeper

umm…. that sucks. I don’t know how to gracefully address that.

I’m confused though. Whose name is on your actual invitations and whose name is on the ones she whipped up?

Post # 6
6359 posts
Bee Keeper

@futurepilotswife_:  hmmm, kind of weird, I wonder why she would want to do that? I do agree that your Fiance should probably broach this with his mom. It was inappropriate for her to do that but I guess the main question is why???

Post # 7
424 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Do you have the list of addresses for her side of the family?  If so, just send out yours before she sends out hers. 

(btw, lots of power to you if you can do this– I totally couldn’t but would really love to if in your situation!)

Post # 8
4687 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Oh shit. Not ok. Maybe you can call her? You don’t want this whackadoodle thinking this is how things are gonna be when you get married!!

Post # 10
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Send them out anyway. You paid for them, and she probably printed them at Kinkos, which people will obviously see. Send em out and shame on her.

Post # 11
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@futurepilotswife_:  who is hosting (paying for) the wedding?  those are the names that should be included on the invites.

if his bio father is contributing to the wedding, i could see his name on the invite.  if not, this could be your reasoning to fmil why not to use them.  it doesn’t follow etiquette.

Post # 13
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@futurepilotswife_:  i would tell your fmil that you do not want her to send the invites with the bio dad’s name.  there is no reason to have him on the invites if he is not contributing.

Post # 14
7219 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

Woah. This sounds like my sister’s Mother-In-Law. I could totally see her doing something like that.

Your Fiance needs to tell his mother off. This is crazy and you can NOT deal with shit like this for the rest of your life. 

Post # 15
1159 posts
Bumble bee

My fiance and i purchased separate invitations because he and his Mum could not afford the ones that my Mum and Dad really liked. We understood and agreed it was best to purchase separate invitations.

Why don’t you give out your invitations to the majority of guests and let her give out her invitations to those that are close to her (e.g. her friends). Everyone wins.

Post # 16
859 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018


I would walk right up to her and tell it’s not okay.  If she had an issue she could have talked it out with you.  She needs to understand that this is about you and your fiance not her.

The topic ‘Because going behind someone's back turns out well…’ is closed to new replies.

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