Because nobody, least of all tiny babies, should have to eat in a toilet stall

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 137
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I think it is mostly the ‘modesty’ bit. People see, do and share far too much with each other these days than is necessary or welcomed at times. I will not be doing it and i also do find it immodest with the tits hanging out. No, ‘most’ of it is not covered. Just because baby is hungry is no reason to whip it out anywhere. You can always carry it in bottles and get those warmed up. If not possible, then sit in a secluded area. There are lots of things ppl can think of doing because it affects health of someone involved but doesnt mean they do it. That is the same as peeing in public. In both instances nature is calling and you MUST answer. Just the medium is different. 

Breasts being sexualized in perfume advertisements are very different than them being shown in breast cancer advertisements. They both trigger different sensory perceptions in our minds. Breasfeeding publicly falls somewhere like that too…..not necessary for the whole world to see. Should just be a private moment shared privately between mom and baby. 

Post # 138
Member
2814 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Sasha2011:  “you can always carry it in bottles and get those warmed up.”

Please educate yourself on breastfeeding. Not all babies take bottles. Not all women can pump.

I think way too many people do not fully understand how difficult it is for breastfeeding moms to breastfeed to other people’s “modesty” standards. You can’t simply “cover up” or “bring a bottle”

Post # 139
Member
8483 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

@s2bmrscook:  I’m not sure why anyone would pump in public. Pumping is for having a supply when you cant breastfeed or to put in bottles if your baby wont latch to the boob. It can also take a long time. I used to work with a girl that would pump at work every two hours, she’d go in the back and sit alone while she did it. But I dont see why anyone would go to the mall and decide to sit right there and pump. So yes, I would find that a bit odd. But not because I find it gross.

Post # 140
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

 @M72727: I agree, 100%.

Just because something is a social “norm” doesn’t make it “right.” 

At the end of the day, this is a cultural issue. Of course people who are uncomfortable with boobs have a right to their opinion, but I wish they would at least acknowledge the root of their discomfort. There is nothing inherently gross about boobs. Neither is there an inherent moral position on “modesty.” There are many cultures in which women do not cover their boobs at all. Lo and behold, civilization didn’t fall.

What there is, and what much of social “norm” on this topic comes from, is a solid history of society’s attempts to control how women view and present their body. I am personally opposed to that – whether or not I am comfortable with boobs myself is completely irrelevant. 

Post # 141
Member
2814 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Jupster:  +1 !!!

Post # 142
Member
2320 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@urchin:  and please read my post again. That is why i said, ‘if that is not possible then…’. Point is, there ARE better/other options out there.

Post # 143
Member
1272 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Who the flip are all these women who are breastfeeding “immodestly” or “indiscretely” that all the “i don’t mind breastfeeding if it’s discrete” brigade are on about?? (Sounds a bit like the old “I’m not racist, but…” to me.) I’ve never seen a woman just “flop” a boob out to breastfeed. You usually would have to really pay attention to see the moment the nipple is exposed between lifting the top and attaching the baby. 

If you’re just upset at the idea of breastfeeding once baby is attached, then I don’t see how a cover is going to help you deal with that – the rest is all in your head!!

Post # 144
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@hamikay:  Seriously, this is what I don’t understand.  Where are all these supposed women who are practically stripping down to breastfeed?  As PP stated, even when not using a cover, you don’t see anything substantial.

Post # 145
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@hamikay:  

@ZombieBullfrogHoller:  

I know right?  It’s one thing if someone pulls out a boob and walks around waving it in people’s faces before sitting down to feed her kid, but most people who have a kid screaming because he/she is hungry want to feed them as soon as possible.  (Not to mention that the entire scenario is ridiculous).

Post # 146
Member
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I’m not a mother yet, but at this point when I think about breastfeeding, I think that my personal preference would be to do it in private, like in a lounge or something. However, this will probably go right out the window when I’m a new mum with a cranky baby who needs feeding ASAP.

As for other women breastfeeding in public – it doesn’t bother me. I’m not going to stare at them and be all “oh, the miracle of life” but I’m not going to side-eye them either.

Post # 147
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@littlebeanpole:  “it doesn’t bother me. I’m not going to stare at them and be all “oh, the miracle of life” but I’m not going to side-eye them either.”  <– this exactly!  Nobody bats an eye walking through the average food court at noon.

Post # 148
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@allyfally:  

I dont see how posters like these are fine, but a mother feeding her child isnt. You’re either okay with seeing a bit of skin on a woman, or you arent.

 ive seen the victoria’s secret/lingerie ad argument before. i think the posters are considered fine and Boyfriend or Best Friend  not, because breastfeeding is “real life” and posters are pictures. realistically, we’d all side eye someone prancing around in public in underwear or a semi naked woman crouching over a semi naked man in public whereas we don’t blink an eye if its in print. rightly or wrongly, i dont think the two things are comparable

thats not to say i don’t agree with public breastfeeding. i think mothers should be able to do it in public without being criticised. I think i’m going to be very shy about it (im only 2 months pregnant) but i will do it, with a cover. i don’t want to use bottles, and i don’t want to be either always in my own house or in toilets to feed my baby

 

Post # 149
Member
5399 posts
Bee Keeper

@cdncinnamongirl:  thanks for the explanation! I agree with you, and it seems like all of the places I’ve lived have been more with it in terms of offering clean lounges than maybe some places are based on this thread. Like I said earlier, I’ve lived in a few different states but my experiences may not be representative of most, and I don’t have any kids yet so I’m definitely not an expert. 

Post # 150
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee

Regardless of whether or not breastfeeding in public makes a viewer uncomfortable – and regardless of whether or not any “precautions” are take by the mother to “be more modest” – there is no reason why any woman should change her behavior to conform to someone else’s views of how she should act, provided her behavior is not putting herself or others in physical danger or violating any laws.  Since breastfeeding in public does not put anyone in physical danger, and is not only not against the law, but actually a protected right in many places, catering to anyone else’s views on the act – including views on “appropriate” ways to go about it – is not necessary.  If a woman wishes to attempt to use a cover (if her child will accept it), or find a discrete location, she should be doing so for her own benefit (personal comfort/privacy) and the benefit of her child (minimize environmental distractions), not to provide for the comfort of other parties.

Likewise, a woman (or man) who wishes to walk around in “sexy” clothing should be free to do so, regardless of whether or not someone else finds it discomfitting, as long as thier garments are not so revealing as to be breaking indeceny laws for their location.  If a viewer finds the sight of nipples underneath a shirt disturbing, or feels that an individual’s clothing is too tightly-fitted, that is the viewer’s problem, and something that they need to deal with on their own, not the problem of the person wearing the clothing.  This holds true regardless of the gender of the viewer and the gender of the person wearing the “offending” clothing.  It holds true regardless of the size of the individual wearing the “offending” clothing – it does not matter if they are large or small, if the person viewing them is uncomfortable because they find them unattractive or because they are having difficulty dealing with their own sexual inclinations. 

In both scenarios – breastfeeding and clothing that is deemed to be “indecent” by a third-party viewer but that does not break any public indecency laws – the motivations are the same, and in both cases, the response should be the same; this is your problem, not mine.  This is your issue, not mine.  This is something you need to address, internally, or if you are unable to do that, by leaving.  This is not something over which I need to change myself.

 

Post # 151
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Polyphemus:  + a million to everything you said!

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