Post # 1
Im glad I found this site. I have a boyfriend who is Catholic and just this past November when he and I began dating I was curious about his Faith so I’ve been going to Mass with him on Sunday. I’ve even enrolled in classes beginning of September to Convert.
Ive been one that’s not found her place spiritually before. I mean I’m very religious and have always been into my Christian beliefs. I just never felt right in other churches, like Methodist, Baptist and non denominational. So the first Mass I went to I felt like I belonged and have since then feel spiritually guided.
The perks with me becoming Catholic is I’m meeting his parents in December. They live far away. They are happy I’m converting to the Faith and it was a pleasant surprise to my boyfriend as he never pressured me it was my own decision to make. Just one he’s very happy I’m making.
Even though him and I have only really been a couple for four months but dating for six months we want to get married because being in our mid thirties and finally finding the ‘one’ you just know.
i would love to get married in the Catholic Church after I become Catholic but unfortunately it’s a nine month pre marital requirement before we can. The problem is my boyfriend took a job two hours away so he and I both attending the weekly pre marital counseling sessions won’t be logistically feasible.
Can we get married outside of the church and still have a Priest marry us?
Post # 2
You likely will not find a priest to marry you outside the Catholic Church. You could find a religious minister to perform a religious-esque ceremony, but it won’t be considered valid in the Church’s eyes unless you go through Pre-Cana and are married in the Church.
Have you considered the option for online Pre-Cana, since your boyfriend will be living far away? We started the process late, so were able to take the Pre-Cana course online at home. I know our parish also offers weekend retreats, where you complete the entire Pre-Cana course over a weekend.
Post # 3
I think you can get your marriage “convalidated” by the Catholic Church after the fact.
Post # 4
You can likely enroll in PreCana before finshing RCIA. My husband and I had to enroll online as well beause I lived 3 hours away for school. Talk to a priest about it. In my expereince, they want to help you get married in the Church, especially when you are wanting to convert and therefore likely raise your children in the Church as well. There is probably something you can do that will work for everyone.
Post # 5
Why can’t you go ahead and start pre cana before you’ve finished RCIA? We had a Catholic wedding even though my husband isn’t Catholic. I think our church only required us to be engaged 6 months before marrying. I would also look into different pre cana lessons. We did a weekend retreat, but I know others have done monthly meetings, a few weekend meetinga, etc. We did ours outside of the diocese we married in, and it was no problem.
Post # 6
We were working on different coasts in the lead up to our wedding. Our priest worked with us, and we were able to get it done with one full day retreat, two meetings with the priest, and an online course (family planning). I would talk to your priest and work with him to figure something out.
Also, no Catholic priest will marry you outside the Catholic church.
Post # 7
- Wedding: June 2019 - City, State
butterflywhisper : welcome to the faith! Even though your church requires 9 months, if your priest allows it, you can do a six-month engagement in the Catholic Church. But because you’ve only been dating a few months, I doubt he will approve such a short engagement, nor do I think it is prudent. I totally understand what you’re saying about your situation. I am also in my mid-thirties and really wanted to jump into things. But I told him we needed to be dating a year before a proposal so that we could really and truly know each other. So he proposed on our one year dating anniversary!
I think that your Parish will work with you about the pre-cana. I only had 6 pre-cana meetings to attend. Have you talked to the wedding coordinator at your Parish yet?
Obviously you can get married anywhere by anyone, and then get it blessed by a priest after the fact. I myself would only ever want to be married in the Catholic Church. If you want to have a Catholic wedding, it must be inside a church because the church believes that a marriage is a Sacrament, which is most appropriately held in sacred space.
Post # 8
butterflywhisper : I find it as an Australian Catholic, how very different the whole pre wedding requirements vary in other countries. Our priests seem to be a lot more accommodating here and willing to work with a couple. The requirement regarding how many months you must be engaged before marriage is also something I’ve never heard of here. All they require is that you do a one day couples retreat and 3 counselling sessions with the priest marrying you. All of this can be done in less than six weeks.My sister was older and her and her now hubby got engaged and married in less than 6 months. Her husband was also not Catholic and was not required to convert to be married in the church.
OP, talk to the priest who sees you both every week at mass on Sunday. He may be willing to work on it for you to get special dispensation regarding the required time frame from the archdiocese.
As for getting married by a priest outside a church with no pre cana being done….not going to happen. I’ve only ever seen one person get married outside of a physical church by a priest but that was only because the couple lived on a tiny island of the coast of Australia where no physical church existed. The priests would fly in once every 2 months on a tiny plane and conducted mass out in the open because no communal building large enough existed. The couple however did do pre cana via phone and flew into a larger town for their one day retreat.
Post # 9
Thank you all so much for the helpful responses! We decided to wait until around our one year anniversary to get engaged. I’m meeting his parents around that time. His parents live in a different State. His mom gave him his Great Grandmothers ring for when he finds someone. I’m very honored that I’m that someone.
Right now it’s nice to get as much information as possible.