(Closed) Bed rest and hubby blues

posted 8 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
823 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@ticklemepink:  this is a very serious issue and your hubby needed to shape up like yesterday. One, you’re pregnant. Two, not only are you pregnant, but you’re now supposed to be RESTING. Three, he’s a grown ass man and should be helping out anyway. You need to sit him down and have a real talk about this, because not only does he need to help you and support you, he should want to. I’m sorry that you’re dealing with this. 

Post # 4
9875 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Wow yeah, definitely time for a serious talk. I’d tell him he needs to cut back the WoW – let him choose a few days for events that he really wants to do, and the other days he needs to spend with you. If all else fails, cancel your internet.

Post # 5
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I can’t give great advice right now, because I’m angry at your situation as well. What I can say is that he sounds like he has some issues of his own, which need to be solved in the near future. He sounds addicted, or deppressed, or something. However, that does not need to be addressed first.

Your first priority needs to be for you and your baby. You need to stop getting out of your bed to take care of the animals, and someway, he needs to start doing that. My guess is that he does not understand how serious your situation is. It sounds like he sees your belly, hears 31 weeks, and thinks that the baby being born now wouldn’t be that big of a deal. You need to let him know how big of a deal it is. A baby born at 31/32 weeks has excellent survival rates (that isn’t really the worry). But many times these babies have complications which would extend their hospital stay, and put it in the sick baby nursery, or NICU. Not trying to scare YOU, but it house like HE needs a bit of a scare. At least until he can get some help for his other problems.

Post # 6
659 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

First and foremost, worry about your health and the health of your little baby for now.  having dufficult and stressful conversations at this point may not be the best thing for you.  Try to get through the next few weeks calmly and focusing on you only.  If the house is messy, donT worry, its not the end of the world (this coming from a neat freak!!).  Can a friend or family member help you out with the baby’s furniture?  Wait until the baby comes to sit down and talk and iron out a plan with him. If that doesn’t work, perhaps you can find a professional help talk to and help you (and him) through this. 

Post # 7
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

It’s terrible to hear you’re going through this and that your SO isn’t supporting you like he needs to.

I would suggest making a to do list for him. I know a lot of people *cough*men*cough* just don’t see what has to be done.

He also might not understand what preterm labour is a serious thing. Try looking up info for him about what it could mean if your baby is born at only 31 weeks.

Post # 8
12244 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Oh, man. My sister had a serious WOW-addiction. It was a mess. Nothing would stop her from playing. In the end, the computer had to be removed from her posession, and like an alcoholic, she can’t play it at ALL any more. Not even for 5 minutes.

She wound up in therapy, and still sees a therapist 5 years later. There ended up being an underlying cause… She didn’t know what she wanted from life. She eventually found that other games were okay for her to play (as long as she was content with her life), but no WOW.

She actually works as a production assistant in NYC for Nickelodeon now!

Post # 9
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
@TattedNYBride:  omg this!!

Fi knows he can get wrapped up playing a video game so he gave himself a rule. He only plays when I’m sleeping so he’s never ignoring me or dd. Tell hom to man up that baby could come tomorrow! 

Post # 10
1190 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

This is a huge deal.  He’s not contributing anything to you, the baby, your relationship, or your finances.  Why are you putting up with this?

Post # 11
1744 posts
Bumble bee

Yeah, I agree he needs a bit of “scared straight.”  He may be depressed or have other issues, but if he’s stressed now – how does he think he’s going to feel with a pre-term baby in the NICU.  Your doc says bedrest – he needs to step it up.  Maybe have the doc talk to him?

Post # 13
1483 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
@ticklemepink:  does this waste of space have any self respect or love for you??! His lack of action says no. This is serious. Why the hell does he not have a job? Why doesn’t he help you with anything? You’ll have two children on your hands. How can you respect him at all? Tell him to ditch the video games altogether NOW or you’re out of there! He needs to show you he’s capable of being a husband and father BEFORE the baby arrives. His behavior is sickening, truly.

Post # 14
826 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I wouldn’t even wait until the baby is born, I’d leave and go stay with family now. You need support and you’re not getting it from him. Hopefully this will make him see what his addiction is causing and get help. I’m sorry you are going through this and hope that your husband wakes up and makes the changes he needs to make.

Post # 15
7308 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

It’s time for a come to jesus talk, because he cannot continue to behave in this neglectful manner. Give him one last chance to show you that he actually cares about your health, your baby’s health, and your little family’s general well-being. Tell him that you need his attention now, that he needs to step up and do all of the housework and take care of you while you are on bed rest, and that this means it is time for him to quit gaming and start tackling his responsibilities head on. He is about to be a father, so he needs to stop acting like a damn child.

If he doesn’t step up to the plate in meeting your needs, then go stay with your family. You need to be surrounded by people who care about your health and your baby’s health, and who are willing to do what it takes to take care of you in your time of need. (Or kick him out and have your Mom/sister/bff/whoever come stay with you, if that would work better.) Honestly, do not tolerate his crap. If he neglects you, he will neglect your baby, too.

Post # 16
11735 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Omg I’m so angry for you!  I’d have thrown that video game console/computer out the damn window by now and shut off the internet.

IT’s time for a SERIOUS discussion.  You are on bed rest. That means exactly how it sounds. He needs to understand, you’re not to be going to the pharmacy, etc. If he can’t man up and take care of you (and your baby), maybe it would be best for you to go stay with family right now. Or, if you have a family member who can come stay with you.

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