Bed time

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
3455 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I generally go to bed before Darling Husband during the week, and he generally goes to bed before me on the weekends. We’ll have dinner together, watch a movie or a little tv, and then we take time to do our own thing. It doesn’t negatively impact our relationship because we both like having some time to ourselves in the evening. Also, sometimes he snores terribly and it’s much easier for me to make sure I’m asleep before he comes to bed to avoid hearing it.

Post # 3
Member
488 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

I usually go to bed before Darling Husband. I rest better when I sleep 7 to 8 hours, while Darling Husband prefers 5 to 6 hours. It used to bother me when we started living together because I felt the reason he didn’t go to bed early was because he didn’t want to sleep with me. But time and conversation show that it was simply because he is more of a night owl (and prefers to work/play at night) while I am an early bird (my prime hour being 4 am). It also happens that I take a LONG time falling asleep (1 hour or more) so even if we go to bed at the same time, there is a high chance that I will end up sleeping later than him. 

Now, I honestly don’t mind. I prefer it most of the times, as it gives me a chance to read before falling asleep which I love doing, and Darling Husband has learned to be more silent/careful when going to bed as to not wake me up. 

Post # 4
Member
15 posts
Newbee

My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I head to bed the same time, he sometimes reads a little later than me, so I drift off before he’s turned his side lamp off, but most of the time bed at the same time, lights off & a cuddle. But he’s always up earlier, I need more sleep to function compared to him so i’ll get 8-9 hours and he will get around 7hrs.

Post # 5
Member
1290 posts
Bumble bee

my husband goes to bed around 10pm and i go to bed around 2am. i tuck him in every night and wake him up for kisses (at his request) when i come in. he’s back to snoring before i’ve settled myself into the blankets. works for us. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
1206 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

I’m always up later, but I settle in bed with him when he goes to sleep between 11 and 12, while I’ll browse the internet or read on my phone until about 1. I only ever am not in bed with him if I have an allergy attack and need to blow my nose a million times before it settles down.

Post # 7
Member
4922 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

He usually goes to sleep before I do. Well lay together for a bit, do whatever we feel like if we feel like it ๐Ÿ˜œ and then I’ll go off and do my thing. I love reading at night til 1-2am, cook something, catch up on some Netflix. Its not every night buuuuut most nights. 

Post # 8
Member
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Sadly we both work different schedules, I think tomorrow night will be the first time we’ll be sleeping in the same bed in two weeks, and that’s if he can fall asleep. 

I’m usually asleep when he gets home and he tries to not wake me and sleeps on the couch for the hour or two before I go to work(we only have one vehicle right now).

It used to affect our relationship but not anymore, it’s actually worse when he does sleep in the bed because I’ve gotten so used to not having him there. 

Post # 9
Member
638 posts
Busy bee

We don’t go to bed at the same time. We’ve got very different sleep cycles. We also both have a lot of problems with sleep individually. I have insomnia and he has sleep apnea. He goes to bed hours before me. He also gets up super early in the morning because he wakes up and can’t sleep anymore. So he gets tired a lot during the day. I don’t think it’s affected our relationship, he gets his alone time if he’s home when I’m still sleeping (I get mine during the day when he’s at work). I am actually working on the insomnia so that I’m able to get to sleep earlier. Ideally it might be nice if our sleep schedules were closer aligned but it hasn’t been a problem for the relationship. I should also mention I actually prefer to sleep alone as I like having the extra space, it just helps me fall asleep easier. So hopefully we can get a king size bed one day, then we can still sleep together and I’ll get my extra space! I definitely don’t want to be forced to be sleeping in separate rooms in the future (we don’t have an extra bedroom here so luckily we don’t resort to that). 

Post # 10
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

I generally go to bed earlier than my husband. I have to get up earlier than he does and I’m also currently pregnant, so I find myself getting tired earlier than he does. He also likes to play video games but we only have one TV at the moment – he usually hops on around 9:30/10pm when I’m getting ready to go to bed and plays until 11/11:30pm when he comes to bed. If he’s tired, however, he will head to bed around the same time as me and won’t game. Friday and Saturday nights we go to bed together – we’ve usually been out with friends or on a date night or even just watching a movie togethe on the couch. As I’ll stay up a bit later, he won’t game and is tired when I want to go to bed.

I don’t think it has any sort of meaningful impact on our relationship, beyond perhaps our sex life. We still spend lots of quality time together throughout the evening, so I don’t feel the need to demand he comes to bed with me – particularly when he enjoys gaming but waits until I’ve gone to bed so that he doesn’t hog the TV. If he feels like having sex, he’ll come to bed with me and it will generally tire him out so he’ll go to sleep afterwards or he’ll just muck around on his phone until he’s tired.

Post # 11
Member
4551 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I am a morning person, he a night owl. We rarely go to bed at the same time. 

Hasn’t impacted at all. 

Post # 12
Member
410 posts
Helper bee

He usually falls asleep sooner than I and we both wake up at around the same time. No negative impact at all tho. I like that he falls asleep on my lap hehe.

Post # 13
Member
6232 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

My husband and I have very different sleep patterns and it’s actually been pretty hard on me for the duration of our 11 years together. I’ve never been so overstimulated as when I lived with him during the end of my pregnancy and our son’s first year of life.

In the last several months, we’ve been introducing some relaxaton techniques that we do together and that’s been helping us to get on a more shared pattern. Also, co-parenting has created more firm boundaries around certain aspects of our schedules. When the kid goes to bed, that starts the clock for us to get to bed, too, unless we want to be wrecked the next day.

Post # 14
Member
4532 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

catash :  Hubby and I both do shift work. We try and work our timetable out so we do similar shifts but a lot of time he will get in bed just as I’m about to get out of it. TBH I sleep better on my own so this offers me the best of both worlds. I get good sleep and I miss him enough to not be too annoyed when I end up with him snoring in my ear!! ๐Ÿ˜‚

When we are both at home we have a shower and go to bed at the same time. He usually falls asleep quickly whilst it takes me time to wind down. He also wakes up before me naturally. I always need an alarm clock. He handles weird sleep patterns that come along with shift work better then me. I’m a grumpy poo ๐Ÿ˜Š

Post # 15
Member
2011 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Sleep is the literally the only thing we argue about. He is isn’t a good sleeper so a night owl. I am an amazing sleeper but need 8 hours of sleep. He always keeps me up watching late movies – last weekend I was up twice to 1 am. I can’t sleep in any more. Also I breathe heavy in my sleep and that doesn’t help his sleeping. Oh the dilemmas

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