Bed time

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 46
212 posts
Helper bee

I sleep by 10pm, he stays up until 12. He will usually get in bed with me until I’m asleep and then get up again πŸ™‚

Post # 47
9215 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Pre-baby, I’d usually head to bed an hour or 2 before him on weekdays. He’s a night owl and likes doing some work at night. It’s never had a negative impact on our relationship, especially since he’s so sweet when he gets into bed and gives me gentle kisses. 😊

Post-baby, sleep does not exist. 😞

Post # 48
16 posts
  • Wedding: February 2017

My husband gets up super early for work, so he normally falls asleep hours before me. We always go to the bedroom at the same time and hang out in bed and watch tv for a bit, and then he’ll fall asleep and I’ll stay up for a couple hours. He sleeps like the dead though, so I can pretty much do anything short of vacuuming next to his head without waking him up. It works out nicely for us both (we have no kids)

Post # 49
6383 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

We go to bed together most of the time.  This has definitely been beneficial for our relationship.

Post # 50
26 posts
  • Wedding: December 2018 - Bellagio, Las Vegas

We do go to bed together, but I’m currently working and he is my house-hubby to be. So he sometimes stays awake a bit later, even though is in bed. He gets up with me and my son to help us get ready though.  When he worked he was out of the house before 6am, whereas I left at 7:40 – but he always brought me a cup of tea before he left. 

Post # 51
1361 posts
Bumble bee

We go to bed together 99% of the time on nights we’re both home together.  If one of us goes out with friends on the weekend then maybe not.  We get up together about 99% of the time too.  DH sometimes likes to sleep later on weekends but I like to have coffee and read in bed for a good two hours on the weekend so we still end up actually getting out of bed together.  

I don’t think varying bed times is problematic in any way.  But I think us being synced up is a small source of comfort for us personally.  Lots of ebbs and flows in many other aspects, so any small routine is just nice to have, whatever it is.  

Post # 52
1622 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Darling Husband goes to bed super early because he wakes up early to go to work.

I work from home and often work late into the night. Half the time I fall asleep on the couch.

We never get up at the same time/go to bed at the same time and it really doesn’t make a difference.

Even when I worked nights and Darling Husband slept all night to get up when I was coming home it didn’t effect us- if anything it got to be annoying when we had to sleep in the same bed lol.

That being said- we only have a queen, we tend to end up half on top of each other when we do sleep together because of the way we sleep.

Post # 53
103 posts
Blushing bee

Normally, we got to bed together but I pass out much sooner and he netflixes from bed for a while. Currently, he is in a production and doens’t get home until 1am 5 nights a week, so we aren’t going to sleep together. 

This isn’t negatively impacting our relationship – but it is negatively impacting my sleep schedule. When he gets home I always wake up for about an hour and spend time with him so my current sleep schedule is really just two long naps from 11-1 and 2-6 lol

Post # 54
754 posts
Busy bee


My SO wasn’t always coming to bed with me. This was a big sore subject for me. He has had a military career for many years and has gone through several deployments. He has trouble falling asleep and staying asleep. I brought up this issue a few times because it was also affecting our sex life (or lack thereof!) because we weren’t in the bed at the same time!

It took over a year for him to truly see the damage our sex life was going through. Now, he does end up waking up before me or sometimes at some ungodly hour and going to the couch and watching TV. And that is fine with me. I have to compromise too.


Post # 55
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019 - Canadian Rockies

I go to bed around 9:30 and he goes around 11 or midnight. I get up earlier than he does, and also this way I can somewhat avoid the snoring lol. We have a fairly new mattress which helps with not disturbing one another, but his snoring does sometimes wake me and I go to the couch with the cat. I feel kinda bad that when I am getting ready in the morning I disturb him.. it’s hard to avoid though when you have to open clothing drawers and armoire doors :-/

On weekends we go to bed around the same time usually.

I’m sure sleeping on my own would be better long term.. but such is life! πŸ˜‰

Post # 56
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

catash :  we sleep in different beds because he gets up earlier than me and I need my sleep. We go to bed together at night to read and then when one of us gets sleepy, we say goodnight and go to our beds. LOL (sounds like I’m talking about puppies). 

Anyways. We sleep together on the weekend and it works great for us πŸ™‚ 

Post # 57
45 posts
  • Wedding: October 2015

I go to bed about 2 hours before my husband does on weeknights. I try to go to bed at the same time on the weekend. I love going to bed at the same time. I don’t find it impacts our relationship anyway.

Post # 58
2576 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2017 - Courthouse

It depends on our work schedules. But overall I like going to bed earlier and getting more sleep. My husband wakes up around 7:30am for work and I work from home part time so I can sleep as late as I want. Usually I like getting up by 8/8:30am though. 

So I guess we usually go to bed at 10 or 11pm. Mostmof the time we both go to bed together and it just takes me longer to fall asleep. But some nights I’m so tired I want to start laying down around 9pm! 

Post # 59
754 posts
Busy bee


It was a huge pain in my butt to get my SO to come to bed AT ALL, let alone at the same time.

He’s been in the military since over 30+ years and has witnessed some horrifying things from all his deployments. At some point in his life, he was unable to sleep past 2-3 hours at a stretch. This has been going on since before I met him. 

The weird thing is that he always had a really expensive bed, set up very invitingly (beautiful and comfy sheets, neat and tidy bedroom, aromatherapy in there and what not) but he NEVER went to bed! He would always balance himself on his little raggedy couch.

This became a big problem for us when we met because it was directly affecting our sex lives. We just weren’t laying close to each other to start something. Yes, we did do it but we could have done MORE had we been in the bed at the same time. Now I don’t care if he gets up early and goes to the living room, or just gets up and goes there in the middle of the night because he can’t sleep. But I set reasonable standards that we should at least make an effort to be on the bed sometime after 11:00 PM. This has worked very well for us. We don’t always have sexy time every single night but we are close by each other and we also get to have many conversations. It’s strengthened our relationship and mutual respect for each other.

Occassionally (way less than him), I will end up leaving and going to the living room because I cannot sleep due to stress or other factors. But this has been a decent compromise for us.

Post # 60
2493 posts
Buzzing bee

We both work 9-5’s with the same commute time, so we have the exact same schedule.

We wake up together, though he usually gets out of bed first to turn the bathroom heater on for me and take the dogs out. Then I get up and make the dog’s food and we get ready for work together. 

We usually meet up at the gym after work, or back at home and have our evening routine. Then we get into bed at the same time, usually around 9. 

This is definitely beneficial for our relationship. It gives us so many opportunities to do small things for each other, and we both count it as quality time, which we both need a lot of. We get plenty of pre-bedtime time in bed together each night which helps keep our sex life active. And we cuddle a lot and 1-2 times a week will pillow talk about our respective days or things that have been on our minds. 

THIS is actually the main thing that keeps my “baby fever” at bay. I really don’t want to lose this, but I know we will once children enter the picture.

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