(Closed) Bee Advice Needed Regarding Guest List (SUPER LONG)

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Which ceremony/reception option seems best in this situation?
    Small ceremony, big reception at chosen locations : (3 votes)
    19 %
    small ceremony at chosen location, small reception at location TBD : (12 votes)
    75 %
    big ceremony at location TBD, big reception at chosen location : (1 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    900 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I really think you should try to keep as small as you can without hurting major feelings.  I don’t think anyone except family would be offended for not being invited to the ceremony.  I’ve been to LDS receptions and no non-LDS people are allowed at the temple, so you never get to see the ceremony.

    Things often spiral out of control with regard to guest list.  So have your really difficult conversations now and then accept whatever you decide.  You should both feel happy with the end result.

    Post # 4
    837 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    My personal opinion is that I don’t like when only certain people are invited to the ceremony and then everyone else just goes to the reception.  I get it when it’s only immediate family (immediate family is parents and siblings only, not grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins) because that makes more sense.  I personally like the ceremony the most because it’s the whole point of the wedding and I like to see it, so if I were you I would find a bigger ceremony space BUT I would also tell your parents you can only comfortably afford 100 people max (or whatever you want your max to be).  Unfortunately because they are contributing they do get a say, but you’re contributing as well so you do have a right to put a limit on it.

    Post # 5
    7174 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I think you should keep it at 100 and not worry about the reception space looking sparse.  There’s a lot you can do to fill up empty room and you can situate tables so it works well.

    If you are willing to compromise on your wedding and invite the 300 people – then I’d find another venue for the ceremony and invite people to both.  


    Post # 6
    529 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I am having a “smaller” ceremony, with probably about 150 people which will consist of mostly family and closer friends. Then we are having a huge reception after dinner. Our reception hall can seat about 250 people, but they never said it wouldn’t fit more standing and dancing. Plus, everyone won’t stay the whole time either which will open up more room.

    I think you should do whatever makes you and your fiance happy, as at the end of the day, it’s your day and it’s about your love for each other and celebrating that with friends and family!

    Post # 7
    558 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Your story sounds almost EXACTLY like mine. I put my foot down and we’re keeping it small.  I hate the idea of feeling self conscious or overwhelmed on my wedding day.  You can fix the “sparseness” of the reception site by artfully arranging chairs and decorations–define the space you use.


    We ARE having another, larger reception in a different state later on to placate the FI’s mother and include friends, but because its plan is so laid back and “Unweddingy,” I’m not concerned about that all eyes will be on me

    The topic ‘Bee Advice Needed Regarding Guest List (SUPER LONG)’ is closed to new replies.

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