(Closed) Bee Honest- Do you Give Nicer Gifts to More Formal Weddings?

posted 7 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 3
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Honestly? The extent of my gift depends on how well I know the couple and like them 🙂

Post # 4
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Not at all. It depends on what I can afford and how close I am to the couple.

Post # 5
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think I probably do, but it’s subconsciously.  I never give something I think is a “bad” gift, or never give beyond my means, but I bet that when it’s more formal I up the ante just a bit.  It does make sense, cause aren’t you supposed to gift around the amount of the meal? 

Post # 6
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Nope. I gift pretty much soley on how well I know/like the couple. I’ve got 2 upcoming weddings – one is a cousin that I really don’t care for, and she is probably getting $50. The other is a girl who I call my cousin, who I’m not technically related to (parents are best friends, we grew up together), but whom I’m much closer to – and she will probably get $200.

Post # 7
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

The gifts I gift are pretty standard no matter the type of wedding. I give $200 to a couple I might not be that close with, $300 if I’m really close to the couple, and I gave $500 for a sibling. And I think if someone had a little less of a wedding I would definetly not give less because I would feel like they would need it more.

Post # 8
Member
80 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Yes – the rule (as I understand it) is that your gift should be reflective of the cost to the bride/groom to have you attend their reception.  We typically estimate the price per head and give a monetary gift that is a bit over the that.

However, we have never given less than $150 as a gift, and that was for a reception that didn’t include dinner/drinks/dancing, etc. Just a wedding ceremony and a slide show afterward.

That being said, people need to give only what they are comfortable and able to give.  Our wedding party will be spending a lot of money on their attire, bach parties, hotels, etc. and we don’t expect a gift on top of what they have already done for us in other ways.

Post # 9
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

If you’re comparing a formal wedding vs a not as formal wedding, and we’re equally as close to the two couples (not very close to either) then yes, I would give more to the formal wedding. 

If we’re going to a close friend’s wedding and it’s not that formal, I would probably give the same amount as I would for a close friend’s formal wedding. 

Post # 10
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

No. I give the gift based on my relationship with the couple. I don’t care if they feed me an 8 course meal or heavy apps. I’m not going to raise or lower the amount of their gift based on that. It’s their choice to spend however much they want on the wedding.

Post # 11
Member
6823 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Nope, the gift depends on how well I know the couple not how expensive/formal their wedding is

Post # 12
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Actually I tend to do the opposite. Because I feel like at a super fancy wedding, the B&G most likely don’t need as much ‘help’ building their future together, and at a more budget conscious wedding the couple probably needs anything they can get.

Post # 13
Member
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Nope. I just wrote this in another thread but I actually am more likely to give a cheaper gift at a nicer wedding. Huge blowout weddings in my mind mean you’re either insulated by family or irresponsible (or both), while smaller budget weddings to me mean you either need the money or are responsible. I’d much rather help out the latter. Would you prefer to help a couple pay their rent next month or buy a cappuccino machine? I know my answer.

Post # 14
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@Mrs. Meowerson: I agree 100%; I’m saying that I think I don’t calculate how much I think people’s weddings will cost, but it might unknowingly factor in.  Like I said, I have never given a gift I wouldn’t be thrilled to get, and always stay within my means, but I bet I might give a little bit better without thinking about it based on how formal the wedding will be.  I was adding that “rule” just to say maybe that’s why it creeps into my subconscious.

Post # 15
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

For those saying that they would think that a super fancy wedding means that the b&g need less help…I guess I just assume that a super fancy wedding most likely means that the parents are helping out, not that the b&g are able to pay for it themselves. In fact, I would most likely assume that there is a parental contribution to any wedding, unless I expressly hear otherwise. So that wouldn’t affect my gift-giving. 

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