Bee in waiting needs advice.

posted 2 months ago in Engagement
Post # 2
615 posts
Busy bee

turner1510 :  FI has been very consistently good at picking out presents for me, but I am both super picky AND terrible at faking enthusiasm. So, I picked my e-ring. But, he had a lot of input, since what I initially wanted didn’t feel traditional enough for him, we ended up looking around a lot longer until I found something we both really liked. 

Post # 4
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

 My FI proposed without a ring and then we went to pick one out together later on. It seems silly to complain you don’t trust him. This isn’t a pair of socks, this is a major purchase and you have to wear it for the rest of your life! It just makes sense that you would have input.

Post # 6
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

My husband and I went Ring shopping together. We then saw how different our styles were, so we custom made my ring. I made the basic design and he did he rest. It was perfect for both of us. 

I do see how he doesn’t want you to have a say, and if you’re pretty lenient just give him the certain things (like you wanting a flush sitting band, and low sitting stone) and leave him to it. If you trust his style, let him work his magic! I wish my DH had style 😂

Post # 7
10 posts
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Destination wedding Hawaii

I got to design my ring on james allen bc my bf was to over loaded with options I feel lucky bc I was able to pick out my dream ring

Post # 8
3327 posts
Sugar bee

Ask him if he’d trust you to buy him a car without input from him whatsoever. (Or a guitar, or a boat, or whatever is his jam.) And remind him that you’ll have this ring longer than he’d have that car or boat. I don’t know many people who were surprised with a ring–the ring is the first big purchase a couple usually navigates together. 

TBH–my first husband picked out my ring without my input. And it was perfect, certainly bigger than I would have suggested on my own. I got lucky. There is no way I was going to chance being lucky this time around. I did my research, shared my favorites and we chose from among them. I’m happy, he’s happy, life is good. 

Post # 9
7759 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

DH and I looked at e-rings together. I let him pick the stone, but I gave him a few choices for settings.

It probably would have been better if you’d talked ahead of time about how you two were going to work together on the ring decision. It does sound like your expectations for the e-ring are excessively high. As compromise, maybe you can specify the must have characteristics of the setting and let him pick based on that. Don’t worry!

Post # 10
487 posts
Helper bee

I picked my ring, and I love it! I think if you trust his sense of style, tell him he can pick the ring as long as he’s not hurt if you want to modify or exchange it. 

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