Post # 121
Soon2ElopeBee: That was awesome. I had to google the story to see how it went – so here it is. Princess and the Soldier A: Once a soldier saw the princess of his kingdom and fell in love. He told her that though he was a mere soldier he thought she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and he was in love with her. The princess was touched by the soldier’s sincerity. She told him that if he really loves her, he should stand beneath her balcony for 100 days and 100 nights. If he can wait for her that long, she will be his. So the soldier went and waited below her balcony. One day, two days, ten days, twenty days. Each evening the princess looked out and he was there. Standing, waiting for her her. Birds would shit on his head, bees woud sting him, but he didn’t move. He just stood there. After ninety days and ninety nights he became dry and white. He couldn’t hold back anymore. Tears streamed from his eyes and he didn’t have the strength even to sleep. At long last it was the 99th night. One more night and she would be his. But on the 99th night the soldier got up, and left.
The quote is from the classic Italian movie Nuovo Cinema Paradiso as quite a few of you guessed. However no one was able to remember Salvatore’s explanation. He says that the soldier realised on the 99th day that the next day, the princess might be his. But she might even break her promise. And that would have broken his heart and dented his love. So rather than risk his heart being broken, he left on the 99th day, carrying with him his love for her, untouched and pure. And that is why he left.
Post # 122
Mayablue6: just curious, since you mentioned his name is on the mortgage, are you named half owner of the house or it’s only under his name? If he is the sole owner and has you pay 1/2 of the mortgage PLUS no definite future plans, it really sounds like a landlord/tennant relationship with benefits. I can’t believe you have to pay your “half” for everything even on “dates”….biggest turnoff a guy can ever do for me. And I thought men atleast get better as they age…NOT
Post # 123
Mayablue6: okay, i read more of your later posts after only reading the first one last night….feeding and walking ONLY his dog and leaving yours at home hungry and alone?!?… Accidentally carving out the ex’s initials instead of yours in the house YOU are paying half of the mortgage?!?… yet he is a kind and fit dad and a firecracker in the sack… WTH?.. .i am soooo speechless…please tell us you are only joking and none of these are actually true!!!!!
Post # 124
I am in shock.
This appears to be a friendship or a roommate situation with benefits….NOT a loving relationship.
I’d tell him every single thing that offends me and give him the opportunity to make some changes. I would expect swift action on his end – the kind of action a man who realises he’s messed up would take to rectify things!!! Failing that…my kids and I would be gone.
Post # 125
I don’t appear on anything- it’s all his.
It doesn’t matter now- last night he told me we are over and that I need to move out. He said he is unable to overcome my children and their messy habits- the occasional wet towel on the floor, toast crumbs, and candy wrappers- nothing too crazy. Wow, I’m gobsmacked. It goes against every bone in my body to leave And give up, but I am.
Post # 126
Mayablue6: I’m sorry to read your most recent update because I can feel how sad you are. But I sorry this awful situation has come to a head? Not really. This guy sounds cold and callous and doesnt deserve you. Who breaks up with someone because of…. Life! Mark my words, this man is destined for a cold, mess-free, kindness-free life. Leave him to it
Post # 127
Mayablue6: Sounds like you dodged a bullet.. Seriously.. you’ve been paying half his mortgage and you’re getting nothing back.. he only walks his dog.. etc etc.. nobody deserves to be treated that way!! I think you should tell him all of that and more, and never look back.
Post # 128
Mayablue6: I think you wrote this post because you already knew he wasn’t acting like a man who was in love with you. I’m sorry he broke your heart! But you and your children are better off without this cold, calculating, unfeeling person in your lives. He is a user and you all deserve someone who loves you and actually wants to act like a family.
Post # 129
I just went back and read the whole thing and… seriously? You were paying off someone else’s mortgage, got rid of all of your own stuff, took the blame when he carved his ex-wifes’ initials into a tree (wtf)… all for someone who won’t even feed your dog?? I don’t know why you think this guy was a catch… any normal relationship involves hugs, saying I love you, and (hopefully) fireworks in the bedroom.. that’s no reason to stay with someone.
Post # 130
He is JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.
It doesn’t matter how much you love him.
TRUST me on this, he is not that invested because he does not see you from a permanent point of view. This man will break your heart eventually. Dont waste your time.
Post # 131
I’m sorry you’re hurting right now, but in time I think you’ll realize you did indeed dodge a bullet. Frankly, he sounds awful.
Thank goodness you didn’t pull up stakes & leave your good job to follow this screwed up mess of a guy.
Post # 132
So sorry for this, but its best for you and your future in the long run. Some day you will look back and say THANK god!
Prayers to you and hope all works out. Please keep us all in the loop.
Post # 133
EDIT: Sorry!! I didn’t read the whole thread. SO sorry for you! Be strong, girl.
Post # 134
Mayablue6: Unless he’s giving you till then end of the month, make sure he gives you back your prorated rent and utilities. He wants to be so cold and calculating about it all, he needs to pay you back like any renter/owner lease.
Post # 135
OP, I’m so, so sorry to hear about this. I agree with the PP that you should insist that he give you back your prorated rent and utilities, and (dare I even think he may have done this) any deposit he asked you to put down upon moving in (I wouldn’t put it past him!).
I can’t express how sorry I am that you’re hurting because of this cold, calculating, excuse for a man. But OP, you’re so much better off now. Leaving will be best for you in the long run, and it will ABSOLUTELY be best for your children!