(Closed) Been called selfish for not wanting an engagement party. Not engaged yet.

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wow! He seems really opinionated and not very polite. I would just avoid talking about engagement stuff with him since he seems so touchy about it. 

Post # 4
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Your poor friend sounds lost. He has some sort of assumptions in his mind on how things should go and if it is not done so he will cry it down. Is partying the only way to celebrate? He can save the celebration for the wedding.

Congrats on your engagement.

Post # 5
709 posts
Busy bee


No one is going to be excited for you, but how will their poor tortured souls cope with not having that specific reason to have a party??

My oh my. Ken is a sourpuss and I’d gleefully not respond to further texts from him. What a love troll.

Post # 6
7738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@krayzay87:  Ken’s being a jerk. Ignore anything he says about weddings. And you certainly don’t have to have a party just to make Ken happy!

Post # 7
46 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

Rude!  I didn’t have an engagement party either and it’s fine!  I’m sure it would have been fun but if you don’t want that expense that’s YOUR choice!  Tell him to throw you a party then ;).  Since he’s so hung up on the surprise factor…  haha.  Plenty of couples discuss engagement beforehand and I think, generally, guys appreciate a little direction for the ring.  You have to wear it forever, so it should concern you, IMO.  

Post # 9
3429 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@krayzay87:  Geez..some people! LOL Next thing you know he’ll start sending you fabric swatches And want to be in tow when you menu taste. Ken needs to chill. you may feel differently about the engagement party once you’re officially engaged. If he wants an engagement party for you so bad why doesn’t he just throw one for you himself? 

Post # 10
2625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@krayzay87:  He sounds like a butthole. He was probably mad about something else and wanted to dump on you. I really can’t stand snarky people…I can see in my crystal ball that this guy could be a source of stress during your wedding planning.

Post # 11
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

What a prick! It would be a fitting surprise for him when this Barbie doesn’t like the ring he picks for her. 

Post # 12
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Sorry if I’m way off base here, but have you ever had any romantic involvement with this guy? It kind of sounds like he’s jealous and trying to rain on your parade any way he can. Either way he seems like a real jerk, if my best guy friend talked to me like that after I told him exciting happy news he wouldn’t be my best guy friend for long!

Post # 13
6359 posts
Bee Keeper

That’s so strange. There’s nothing selfish about not wanting an engagement party, if anything, it’s the opposite. I didn’t want one because I felt it would be gift-grabby of me.

Post # 14
1248 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012 - Chateau Briand

@shakathis exactly! He sounds catty and obnoxious. I wouldnt share any engagement/wedding details with him anymore. 

Post # 15
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@thunderberry:  +1 that definitely crossed my mind too.

OP, avoid talking to him about it (I’d avoid talking to him period but you’re probably not as irrational as I can be when someone pisses me off) and laugh when “barbie” doesn’t like the ring he gets her =)

Post # 16
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013


+1  I was thinking the same thing.


For our engagement, we had a bbq when we had one year to go until the wedding.  It was small, with just immediate family and the wedding party.  It was mostly potluck and then some of us went out to a local bar afterwards. 

I’m sure people will be so happy for you…and if you want to have a small celebration or no celebration, that’s up to you…whatever it is, I’m doubting “Ken” will be invited.

Congrats and best wishes.

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