(Closed) Been crying all night…

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
4509 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I feel like I say this so often here on WB.  Plan for the wedding that you can afford.  Once you accept monetary assistance from others you often relinquish some if not all control.

Post # 3
Member
8600 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

Honestly, how could this possibly be The Dream if your guests will have to stay a 3 night min and you can only fit 80 people? Is the scenery really worth all this strife? If youre getting a free wedding you should expect to accommdate some basic wants of your parents- like their guest list. If you want a small wedding at this venue youll just need to stick to it and pay for it yourself but really, would upsetting both sides be worth it? I dont think so…

Post # 4
Member
5052 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

This is what you can run into when accepting money for the wedding. They are giving you $35k, they are going to want to at least be able to invite who they want.

You can always tell them thanks for the gracious offer but we want things our way and give the money back. Then you can do your wedding your own way with your own money.

Post # 5
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee

35K is more than some people’s entire wedding budget. 

If you’re going to accept money, it’s going to usually come with strings. 

Post # 6
Member
3045 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Your dream venue comes with increased cost for your guests and rests on someone elses wallet. Rather than be upset I think you need to modify the dream. Of course the individuals providing you $35k will want a say in how its spent.  None of this would be an issue if you paid for your own wedding, thats always an option. Honestly you sound pretty ungrateful right now…

Post # 9
Member
345 posts
Helper bee

Have u thought about paying for it yourself? If u are accepting money from your parents, ofcourse they have a say in who will be invited. If u cannot pay for it then ur dream venue is not practical and you will have to look for other options.

Post # 10
Member
6369 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
irishbride2018 :  Unfortunately since they’re paying for everything, your parents get a huge say in this. But why is your mother calling you nasty names?! Do you have a strained relationship in general?

Honestly if I were you I’d turn down their money and throw my own wedding. Then you don’t have to worry about all their crap. 

Post # 11
Member
345 posts
Helper bee

Also u are trying to cut cost by cutting their guest or are you saying u will be okay them inviting who they want and are planning to cut ur guests? Then that’s great.

Post # 13
Member
5052 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
irishbride2018 :  

If it were me, I would never accept anything from someone who would hold it over my head later. And $35k is a huuuuge gift to manipulate you with later.

Post # 15
Member
3045 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

You sound ungrateful bc you admittedly can’t pay for your dream wedding or any wedding at all but don’t want to allow the people who are paying to switch from this dream venue to accommodate more guests. Its simple. Let them spend their money how they see fit or decline the assistance altogether.

The topic ‘Been crying all night…’ is closed to new replies.

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