Post # 1
Is this a bad thing? My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months and haven’t really had a fight or strong disagreement yet. He’s done things that have ticked me off and I’m sure he can say the same, but overall it’s been very good and we haven’t argued yet.
Some people say this is a bad sign..is it?
Post # 2
You’ve only been together 7 months, I honestly think it would be bad if you had been arguing.
Who is telling you its a bad sign if you haven’t had an argument yet? What is their reasoning?
Post # 3
- Wedding: November 2019 - City, State
There’s no time limit on when you “should have” done something or not. You just do you, and you’re golden.
Post # 4
I don’t think it is necessarily a bad sign. But, do you find yourself being annoyed at him but restraining yourself from communicating about it because you don’t want to rock the boat? Avoiding conflict like that is a bad sign / not super healthy.
I’ve been with my husband for 3 years, we live together and are expecting a child, and we’ve never gotten in a fight. We’ve disagreed about things, and we’ve hurt each other’s feelings on accident, but it’s never turned into an argument or fight. We just talked things through and resolved it peacefully. I think it’s because we’re really similar in a lot of ways so there’s naturally less to disagree about, and we also are really communicative so it’s unlikely that things get misunderstood and escalate into an argument. I’m sure our day will come though.
As long as you aren’t AVOIDING conflict by suppressing your feelings, I don’t think it’s a bad sign.
Post # 5
no, only be sure you do not marry a man until you know how he is when angry with you. Does he call names, hit, or fight like a gentleman and so on. Find it out.
Post # 6
I also feel argument is such a subjective term.Do you mean yelled at each other and slammed doors? Passive agressive snappy comments? Respectful disagreement?
I might be worried if it meant that you agree on everything in a way that neither of you expresses real opinions or your personality. Other arguing…not sure why you would have to do that 7 months in (or at all).
Post # 7
This is the opposite of a bad thing. This is one of the ways I knew my fiance was the one. Don’t let negative nancys convince you that fighting is required in a relationship. Those people are probably insecure about their own relationships and projecting that shit on you. Sounds like you and your partner are good communicators, good job!
Post # 8
Umm… Good for you?
The only time I think this would be a bad thing is if you actually have something to argue about but don’t want to bring it up because you’re not comfortable, etc. As long as you guys are comfortable with each other and have an open line of communication I don’t think not arguing is a huge issue. Some people think it means that you don’t care enough to argue or that you’re walking on eggshells around each other but perhaps you two are just really compatible? There’s nothing in the world wrong with that.
I think worrying about it will do more damage than not arguing.
Post # 9
You guys are in the honeymoon phase. If you were arguing this early in your relationship I would see that as a bad sign. As long as you guys are addressing any issues if/when they come up I think this is a positive sign.
Post # 10
I don’t think there is a certain “time stamp” on when it’s OK or not OK to argue. I think it depends on the nature of the arguments (or rather, “not-arguments” in this case). Are you afraid to argue? Are you agreeing on things you don’t really agree with just because you don’t WANT to argue? Or are you just always getting along?
For example, my ex and I dated for three years and we had NO arguments. The closest thing we even had to an argument was that I went up to visit him while he was in the army. He wanted to go to a strip club and I told him I would rather him do that on * any other weekend* where I didn’t just drive 9 hours to come see him. He literally said “OK no problem”.
Coming from a relationship where we argued all the time, I thought this was a nice change of pace, until I realized he was literally just not even sharing his opinion just to avoid arguments. I would suggest a movie, he would say ok and then when it was done he would tell me he already saw it. He would agree with me on EVERYTHING. I got so mad and told him that I’m not going to break up with him for him sharing his opinions and thoughts. I WANT him to disagree if he really does. It never changed, and so eventually I did break up with him because I felt like he didn’t care enough to even discuss things or share opinions, he just wanted to be complacent all the time.
Arguing can be healthy, as long as it is done respectfully. Not arguing can also be healthy, as long as you aren’t “not arguing” because there is a lack of communication.
Post # 11
I have friends who are married and have still never had a fight! I think because they have such agreeable natures and mature when they met. DH and I have a super solid relationship but we have blow-out fights from time to time, most of them were in the first year of our relationship and then the first year living together. We resolve them quickly. We are brutally honest with each other and can be stubborn and hard-headed… less easygoing than some of our friends who “never fight.” I think it’s partially a personality difference. I was also 23 when we met and had most of our fights. My friends who seem to fight less tend to be older than I was. I was not the most mature 23 year old!
Post # 12
I think it would be a bad sign if were arguing at 7 months (that’s when you’re on your best behavior!). I think people who begin arguing the minute they’re in a relationship either aren’t right for each other or love drama and equate that with love (most likely both). I’ve been with my Fiance for over 5 years and we rarely argue. It happens, but it’s not something that’s the norm for us.
Post # 13
I don’t think my husband and I had a fight until we were together a year. Even now it’s rare that we fight. I think it would be weird at 7 months to be fighting, you’re still in a honeymoon phase of dating.
Post # 14
If you had been together only 7 months and had already had a fight, I’d say you’d be in trouble. You’re in the honeymoon stage. There shouldn’t be much, if anything, to fight about. Couples who constantly fight may say that’s healthy, but it’s not. Like KittyYogi said, if you’re not fighting/arguing because you’re scared of each other, than yes, that’s a bad sign. But if you’re not fighting because there’s been nothing to fight about, you’re just compatible.
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise
There are a lot of reasons that might be contributing to the fact you haven’t had a “fight” yet. As a lot of PPs have said, 7 months is really early. I don’t think my FH and I had what I would consider a “fight” until we’d been together almost 2 years.
In our case it’s that we have an unusual similarity of thinking. Miscommunications are exceptionally rare. The fact we seem to inherently understand each other eliminates a lot of the reasons I would find myself having arguments with other partners.
Which is not to say we don’t disagree, because we do. It just doesn’t usually rise to the threshold of fighting. We both have a pretty calm approach to conflict management.
If you’re biting your tongue to avoid fighting, I think that’s really more problematic than not having had a fight at this stage. As long as you feel able to express disagreement or upset, there’s nothing wrong with having had smooth sailing thus far.