(Closed) Been meaning to post this…

posted 7 years ago in Rings
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  • Post # 17
    Member
    1266 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    @MissFormaldehyde:  If it’s turning a rose gold/copper color, it could mean that the ring is made from brass base metal and the white plating is wearing off :/. Rhodium wearing off of white gold will not reveal a coppery looking metal, nor should rhodium plating be wearing off of white gold in only a couple of months.

    What are the stamps/markings inside the band? For example, 14k, 18k, 925 (silver), PT950 (platinum)..

    Post # 19
    Member
    1266 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    @MissFormaldehyde:  If there are no marks inside the ring, and it is copper colored beneath where the plating is wearing off, and there is a line/slash in the band, I would be concerned.

    I think you should take it to a jeweler ASAP and have them test the stones and the metal to make sure the ring is what your Fiance says/thinks it is. 🙁 I am really sorry to say this, but it sounds like there’s a good chance that either A) Your Fiance was unwittingly duped into buying costume jewelry or B) He is outright lying to you about the ring. If either of those scenarios are true, the sooner you know, the better.

    I’m not trying to jump to conclusions here, but I have several costume rings that I have noticed the same things happen with. And if the bands aren’t stamped, and you already feel your Fiance is embellishing/being dishonest about the ring, those are really bad signs.

    Post # 20
    Member
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    Sweetie… are you still going through with this? Has he sought any sort of professional help? Your past posts are VERY worrisome. As someone who was once in an abusive relationship, I know that it can be hard-next-to-impossible to even realize that is what’s going on. Please take care of yourself before it’s too late.

    Post # 21
    Member
    353 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    white gold will not tarnish that quickly. Its probably not real gold.

    But of all things to be concerned about, him getting you a fake gold ring should be the least of your concerns… however, if its the straw that breaks the camels back, that will sure be a relief for anyone who cares about you.

    I’ve got about a decade on you, and if theres one thing I’ve learned in that time, Id say that when EVERYONE who has ever given a shit about you is telling you that you’re making a bad choice, you’re making a bad choice.

    I hope you get help. I’m thinking of you.

     

    Post # 24
    Member
    561 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MissFormaldehyde:  you keep saying that but there shouldn’t have ever been the problems you had in the first plade.  He is still the same man.  The man you are now marrying, in jail, is the same man who abused you.  

    Post # 26
    Member
    3885 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @MissFormaldehyde:  Sorry, but this doesn’t fly. People making rude comments aren’t enough to end someone up in jail.  Overreacting to people making rude comments land you in jail.

    The best way he could have protected you from people’s rude comments would have been to walk you away from them.

     

    Post # 27
    Member
    561 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @MissFormaldehyde:  so it’s not ok for strange men to make sexually suggestive remarks to you but your partner can call you a whore and other nice words like that?  Violence in any form isn’t ever a good trait, especially in the man who once made the police drive you home because he was scared he would physically hurt you.   On top of it all, you were thinking about having a child with a man who loses his cool to the point he is now in prison.  That’s sme real responsible fatherly material there.  

    People have tried being gentle with you, but you need to wake up before its too late. 

    Post # 28
    Member
    353 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    @MissFormaldehyde:  I wouldn’t call not being able to abuse you because he’s in jail “solved”.

    Like I said in the other post, he either already had a criminal record, or you’re downplaying what he did.  They don’t keep people in prison for months over a drunken fight.

    Post # 29
    Member
    924 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    my head == brick wall

    I don’t know what else we can say to you to open your eyes to the fact that you are in danger if you stay with this man. It’s only going to get worse and worse until you leave. You have your family and friends, counselors and dozens of bees here to help you through this if you decide to leave. Trust me, he’s only going to get worse.

    Post # 30
    Member
    2902 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    OP, imagine that you go ahead and marry this guy and have a baby with him. And it’s a girl. And you raise her lovingly and cherish her and hope for only the best for her. And then one day, when she is twenty years old, she comes home and says, “Mom, you’ve got to meet my awesome fiancé. He brings me flowers every week, he calls me a whore, he’s in jail right now, and he may or may not be actually seeking treatment for his mental illness and PTSD. Oh, and i can’t really trust that he is telling me the truth about very basic things like whether my engagement ring is gold or brass, so who knows what else he’s lying to me about? But that’s ok, because we are going to have a baby and because I love him so much.”

    Is that what you would want for your daughter? Or would you want her to hold out for a man who cherishes her as much as you do, a man whose word is trustworthy, a man who has the maturity to work through his problems with honesty and communication instead of shaming and name calling? 

    Post # 31
    Member
    1990 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @MissFormaldehyde:  WOW! THats a niiiice sparkler! Congrats!

    ETA: Because its a 1930s piece it is likely that it is yellow gold that has been plated?  I bought my jewelry online and it was easy for me to go into a jeweller that purchases gold & diamonds to verify that everything there was real.  They heat tested the diamonds (aka real) and tested the Gold as well (real too!) all for free so I’d totally recommend doing it. 

    Just walk in and tell them you have an heirloom piece you wanted to authenticate… it happens all the time!

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