Good for you, Bee! If you love your mom’s ring, don’t change it just so your bf can feel like he spent money on you. Don’t indulge his toxic masculinity. He can splurge on the wedding ring if he wants to spend money of his own.
I find it ironic that he wants to save a ton of money for an expensive ring, but his budget is 5000. This confirms more than ever that he is using the ring as an excuse to stall, AND he didn’t even do his research on rings. Objectively speaking, I don’t believe 5k falls within the “expensive” ring category if you’re looking at diamonds, whether lab or mined. A quick Google search would have told him that. For 5k pre tax, you can get a Costco ring with an I colored diamond, VS2, 1.35 carat total. I’m seeing rings that range from 1600 to over 40k on their site.
I’m not ragging on his budget, my bf is spending 3k on a moissanite ring and he made it very clear to me that he was not going to spend the amount of money it would have cost to get a diamond with the specs I wanted.
My point is, your bf claims he wants to save so much money on such an expensive ring so he can feel like a manly provider, but the amount he considers expensive is actually in the very low range. This shows he didn’t even do a quick Google search to see what price point is realistic. This puts a really bad taste in my mouth.
From what I can see, your bf cares more about his ego than getting married, your happiness, and the kind of sentimental and meaningful ring YOU want.
You sound like an amazing person with your priorities in the right place, and the willingness to stick up for yourself. I am sorry but I am not liking this guy. I think we’ve already established that he’s using the “I’m saving up for a ring” classic stall tactic. What really bothers me is he needs to feel like he paid a lot of money for it, AND he is just looking at arbitrary numbers, rather than the quality of how far his money will go.
Don’t. Change. Your. Mom’s. Ring. Just to feed his ego.
My friend wanted to get a 1 carat with better specs and smaller side stones. Her fiance wanted her to get a 1.5 carat because a 1 carat would be a poor reflection of his “ability to provide.” He ended up spending a ridiculous amount of money on a yellowish 1.5 carat solitaire with visible inclusions. He got what he wanted, random people would gawk at that rock and call it huge, and assume she was rich. My friend looked down at that ring every single day and regretted it. All she saw was a yellow and heavily flawed Ring Pop. She’s divorced, and she still regrets that ring.
Don’t be my friend. Don’t wait for a guy like her then husband who cares more about his ego and appearances and reflection of “ability to provide” than what makes you happy.
Sorry for rambling.